A Heart's Desire
by June.Louise
Summary: You have to work on things in life, even the good things. Especially the good things. SS
1. You're my wonderwall

_Hello everyone!_

_Some of you must have noticed the lack of SS stories being updated lately._

_That is why I'm posting this. I was going to wait a while, but I just couldn't any more._

_This is a brand new story and I hope you'll all like it and review. _

_Just an introduction chapter with some cuteness._

_A Heart's Desire _

You're my wonderwall

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth turned the music on and placed the champagne glass on the table. It wasn't an old vinyl this time, but it sounded exactly the same. The words of the very familiar song filled the room.

_Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna give it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now_

It was the 11th August, a very special day for two people in specific. It was exactly one year ago that they had promised each other eternal love. That promise would not be hard to hold.

Flashback

"Summer, you are the girl of my dreams. It is no secret that I have loved you for a very long time. Some might think that it is weird that a ten year old boy falls in love with a girl he's never spoken to. But already then, when I was a little boy, I knew that you were that girl. The one I wanted to spend my life with." Seth cleared his throat and squeezed her hand. He hadn't realized that his was all sweaty and hers was slightly shaking. Neither of it mattered though, the smile they shared reassured that. "No one has ever believed in me like you do and no one has made me happier.

There is no one I would rather have by my side than you. I am forever grateful for you and I promise that I'm always gonna take care of you and try to be the man you deserve. You deserve so much and I am gonna try every day, every minute, every second of the rest of my life to give you everything that you want and deserve. It's always been you. I love you Summer. I'll love you forever."

A silent tear escaped Seth's eye as he said his final words. Summer was crying a river though, trying to get herself together for her own vow.

"Cohen," she started with a shaky voice, using the nick name that they both loved. "I am not lying when I say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I first met you, or when I first started to recognize you, I never would have thought that we would be standing here today. But I'm so glad that we are. You are the one who changed me and because of you I am a better person. I can't wait to start our life, as a married couple. I want to be with you forever and have a family with you. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side. When I'm with you I know that I never will be alone. I have always wanted someone to love me for who I am and you are that someone. You love me for me and nothing means more than your love, than you. I love you more than I thought was possible. I'll love you forever, Seth."

End of Flashback

Seth held out his hand for Summer to take. She put her glass of champagne on the table as well and let Seth lead her out on the floor, close to the balcony.

This night was perfect. Seth had thought about everything; candles, roses, chocolate, champagne, Summer's favorite food and their song; Wonderwall.

Seth put his hands on her lower back and Summer placed hers on his shoulders while leaning her head against his chest. They began to move slowly, the music and the feelings from every time they'd heard the song before surrounding them.

_Backbeat the word was on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now_

_And all the roads we have to walk along are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I would  
Like to say to you  
I don't know how_

_Because maybe  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall_

_Today was gonna be the day  
But they'll never throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you're not to do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do  
About you now_

_And all the roads that lead to you were winding  
And all the lights that light the way are blinding  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
I don't know how_

"Seth?" Summer lifted her head from his shirt to look at him. Seth gave her a smile, encouraging her to continue. "You're the best husband."

"And you are the best wife." he replied and kept smiling at her. Summer shook her head, like he didn't understand what she'd meant.

"No, you are the best husband. Really. Like in the whole world."

"And you are the best wife in the whole world." Summer sighed and reached up to kiss him. Seth wasn't the one to complain, so he kissed her back passionately, trying to show her all the love he felt for her.

After kissing for a while they both had to pull away for air. Smiling and both breathing heavily they returned to their previous positions and began to dance again.

_I said maybe  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall_

_I said maybe  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
And after an  
You're my wonderwall_

_Said maybe  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me_

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"I don't think it can get any more perfect." Summer said as she traced lines on Seth's naked chest. She had actually made him get a little tan so now he looked just about his best.

"Neither do I." Seth said back in return, playing with a few strands of Summer's shiny hair.

"Being married is not what I imagined it would be." Summer admitted, turning a little so she could look at her husband.

"Yeah?"

"It's better." she whispered and wrapped both of her arms around him. Seth did the same, placing his much bigger arms round her tiny chest hugging her close to him.

"I love you Summer."

"I love you Seth."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_That was pretty much it for now. I hope you liked it._

_If I get good responses I will update this story soon and in the next chapter there will be more clues on what this story will be about._

_Don't worry, I will NOT forget about my two other stories. I just felt like writing something else for now._

_So, please review!_


	2. I'll be seeing you

_Thank you for the reviews guys!_

_I promised to updates really soon so now I am. _

_Last chapter was really short and left you all curious about where this story is going._

_Here is the first real chapter. Keep reviewing!_

_A Heart's Desire_

I'll be seeing you

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

**Three months later...**

Summer looked at what she'd made. A nice dinner. A very nice dinner.

She knew that Seth worked hard. Seth worked hard because of her, because he wanted her to fallow her dreams and still give her everything she wanted. And he was succeeding. Summer could buy whatever she wanted. They had a nice apartment with fancy furniture. They could wear designer clothes and they could travel wherever they felt like travel. And still, Summer didn't make that much money. To be honest, she didn't make that much at all. She was drawing sketch after sketch and running around several times a week on fashion shows looking for what was in and finding inspiration. She had tried to sell her clothes though to her disappointment it didn't work out that well.

Things were hard. But Summer knew that. She knew what she had thrown herself into. Even though it was hard and every rejection took hard on her, it was her dream and she would not give up on it. Seth was always there to support her, no matter what. And he encouraged her and was always positive. He was the one holding her when she was crying, upset by a no again. And he was the one giving her a pen and a peace of paper saying that she has to get back on that horse.

So Summer did. She kept going and every time she got a no, Seth told her, she was closer to a yes. And Summer believed in him.

So now, she had cooked him a special dinner. She didn't really like to cook, but she knew that when Seth got home from a long day at work, he would be tired. And she wanted to do something for him because he did so much for her. He worked at least ten hours every day to support her. This was the least she could do.

As she heard the front door open she rushed out of the kitchen to greet her husband. He was already hanging his jacket in the closet when she came out into the foyer. Seth was met by a big smile when he closed the door to the closet and Summer walked up to him, giving him a big kiss along with an embrace lasting for several minutes.

"I've missed you so much." she said into his shirt, taking in the scent that she loved so much.

"I haven't been gone for that long, baby. And we spoke to each other just an hour ago." Seth pointed out, slowly starting to lead her to the kitchen.

"I know. It's just not the same as when you're with me." Summer said leaning in closer to Seth as they entered the kitchen where Summer had set the table and even lit two candles.

"Wow. I could get used to coming home to this." Seth said kissing his wife and looking at the table with the food carefully placed in the middle of it. "What's the occasion?"

"I just wanted to do something nice to you." Summer led him to the table and they sat down facing each other.

"This looks fantastic, Sum."

"Thank you. I hope you'll like it."

"How was your day?" Seth asked as he began to eat the delicate food watching Summer do the same.

"As usual. I stayed here, making some sketches. What about you?"

"I went to several meetings. Nothing special, really."

"Okay."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

After the dinner Seth and Summer moved to sit in the living room having some more wine.

"I have some bad news" Seth said sipping his glass of wine nervously.

"No, I hate bad news." Summer whined, putting her glass on the table giving Seth her full attention.

"I know." Seth replied with sadness in his voice.

"Well, what is it then?" Summer softened and stroked his chin slightly.

"I have to go away for a few days." Seth said dropping the bomb.

"Why?"

"Work. I have to go to Japan taking care of some things."

" Japan? That's really far away Cohen."

"I know."

"For how long?"

"Five days, maybe a week."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow." Seth told her and swallowing.

"Tomorrow? Seth! It's the weekend. We were going to spend some time together. And what about on Tuesday? I need you to be with me then."

"I'm sorry Summer. You know that I would stay here if I could. But this came up and I have to go."

"Can't you tell someone else to go?"

"No, I can't. I have to do this. It's important. If it wasn't I wouldn't go."

"But what about me and our plans? You're always working. The weekends are the _only_ time when we can be together."

"That's not true. I don't work all the time."

"Maybe not but when you're not you're tired because of it."

"Summer, listen." Seth started, taking Summer's hands in his.

"No, Seth. I get it. You're leaving me alone here for a week." Summer said quickly, trying hard not to cry. She was so disappointed at him. They'd had all these plans and she had been looking forward to this weekend.

"It's not like that, baby." Seth tried.

"Oh, yes it is. That is exactly what it is." Summer pulled her hands away from his and stood up. "I'm going to bed."

"Summer," Seth got up as well, trying to stop here.

"No, Seth." She said as he tried to touch her and make her stay. "I'm going to bed."

"Summer, please wait. Let's talk about it."

"I don't want to talk and we don't need to talk. Goodnight." As she turned away and walked to the bedroom, Seth didn't say anything. By now, he knew that she wouldn't listen. She would just get more pissed. She needed some space right now.

He sighed and went to the kitchen to clean up after them. He smiled at everything she'd done. He hated to make her sad but he had to do this; he had to go to Japan.

The time went by and Seth cleaned the kitchen, took care of the dishes, watched the news and when the clock turned eleven he went to their bedroom, only to find his toothbrush and his pyjamas lying outside of the door. Summer was really angry with him. Most of the times after they'd been fighting, she just turned her back against him in bed. She didn't throw him out.

Sighing, Seth picked up his things and walked to the guestroom. Things surely didn't get any easier after being married for a year. Did he really work that much?

Seth never wanted Summer to feel alone. He wanted to give her everything she wanted; he wanted to make her happy. The whole point of why he taken this job was to be able to support her.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer woke up with a jerk. The feelings from last night returned and she remembered why she was alone in bed. It was weird, being the only one sleeping in a king sized bed. She was so used to have Seth next to her.

To judge by the weather outside Summer figured that it was way past morning. And that usually meant that she was alone. Seth went to work early but he always woke her up before, saying goodbye and wishing her a nice day. She wanted things that way. She hated waking up and not have talked to him or kissed him on the whole day since it would take hours before seeing him again. But now, he wasn't leaving to come back for dinner. He was leaving for a week.

Summer was angry. It was Saturday and they were supposed to stay in bed the whole day and go out in the evening. And tomorrow they were supposed to go to the mall. And on Tuesday Summer had an important meeting having to do with her career. She needed him with her that day. Before to pep her and wish her good luck and afterwards comforting her as she was all upset over another no.

Stubbornly though, Summer stayed in bed and tried to fall back asleep. She wanted to hear when he was leaving and say goodbye to him. But she was still angry so she ignored the sun lighting up the room and went back to sleep.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth gently knocked on the door to their bedroom. It was soon time for him to leave and Summer hadn't shown herself for the whole day. He couldn't leave before saying goodbye, even if she was being all stubborn and pissed.

When he didn't get any reply he opened the door and went inside. Summer was laying spread all over the bed, the sheets curled around her body. Seth couldn't help but smile at her.

He quickly packed his things and then went to sit next to her on their bed. He caressed her upper arm, making the hair on her soft skin rise. She began to stir and after rubbing her eyes in that adorable way she opened her eyes.

"Hi Summer." Seth said carefully still caressing her arm.

"Hi," Summer said back and sat up. Seth could see that she hadn't forgotten about their conversation last night.

"I have to be at the airport at two."

"What time is it?"

"One."

"Oh," Summer said and looked down at her hands, tightly intertwined in her lap.

"Summer, listen. I'm sorry about this, okay? But I can't say no, I have to go."

"Yeah."

"Please don't be mad at me Sum. You know that I'm not doing this to hurt you."

"I know."

"I'll call you every day and about Tuesday; you'll be fine and you can call me right afterwards and tell me everything about it."

"It's not the same."

"I know it's not but we just have to make the best of it. Please." Seth begged, taking her hand in his, bringing it to his lips and kissing the inside of it.

"I don't have a choice, do I?" Seth just looked at her with pleading eyes as he kept kissing her hand. "I'll still miss you." she finally said and looked up at him.

"I'll miss you too. Like so much." Seth moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her to pull her into his lap. She did not refuse but didn't hug him back either. She just let him hold her and let herself be held.

"I love you Summer." Seth said and kissing her cheek.

"I know." was Summer's reply.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_There, now you might have a guess. Suggestions are always welcomed. _

_I also love to hear about what you think will happen._

_Give this story some more reviews now, okay?_

_I don't know when I will update but I do know that if you review I will do it much faster._


	3. I need attention at home

_You are amazing! I loved the reviews! _

_Keep them coming._

_A Heart's Desire_

I need attention at home

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The apartment was so quiet as Summer came out of the bedroom. She had slept most of the day. Seth had left and she hadn't had anything to do. She'd thought of calling someone but then decided to just stay in and do nothing. But now she couldn't stay in bed anymore. She was clear awake.

It was already dark outside, Seth was probably in Japan by now. And he said that he would call her.

Summer sat down on the sofa in the living room. She was used to be alone at this point. Seth worked a lot. But it didn't seem as bad when she knew that he would come home in the evening and he wassometimefree on the weekends. The weekends were theirs; at least it used to. That was part of the reason of why she couldn't think of anything to do by herself. She was tired of drawing and the mall had probably closed.

Eventually, after sitting on the sofa thinking and looking at the surroundings, Summer decided to watch a DVD. And she figured that The Valley was the one. She hadn't watched it for a while but back in high school it had always been kind of like therapy to Summer. She could always relate to the characters. It made her reflect over things and most times it gave her a calming feeling and maybe a solution to a problem. Then again, in TV shows life wasn't realistic all the time.

Summer had no idea what had happened between her and Seth lately. Maybe she was just overreacting and making his work too big of a deal. But this wasn't the first time. He worked so much that she felt abandoned and left out. It was always something he had to do. She was happy that he liked his job and that he was doing well, she was. But, lately, things had gone a little too far. It wasn't a usual thing Seth would do to go to Japan for a week in so short notice. And he knew that they'd had plans and that she needed him more than she would ever admit. He was supposed to know that he should be with his wife at home. Couldn't they send a single or an old person instead?

They didn't have any problem with the marriage otherwise. They were having sex and they loved each other very much. They didn't stop talking like other couples would do and they were always kissing and doing fun things together. They were happy.

So why did Summer make this such a big deal? She could handle things at home for a week. He had been away before. And she did have friends.

But it was just so much more important now. She had been down more often the last couple of weeks. Maybe it was her work, that didn't go good at all, and maybe it was his. She was tired of having the house to herself while he was out there making money. She wanted that too. She wanted to have something to do; something more important than draw sketches of a new skirt. Even though she loved it and wanted to work with it so badly, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

Seth had an amazing job and he could do these amazing things, like going to Japan. He made lots of money on something he loved doing. And after trying so hard for so long with no result, Summer was bored and sad. Why did she have to be so stubborn and go for the highest goal? Why didn't she try something else for a while and see if she liked it? She would definitely be a lot more use then.

She figured that she just was lonely. It was a classic thing. Poor wife stays at home while handsome husband goes to work and make some money, forgetting about his girl waiting with dinner back in the house.

It wasn't like Seth was forgetting her, it really wasn't. He was being wonderful and he would quit his job for her, she knew that. He would do whatever to make her happy. And it was just that. Seth was so good to her and he was an amazing man that she loved more than anything. But he was changing. He was becoming a workaholic; a man obsessed with his work. And he didn't even realise it.

Summer couldn't ask him to quit his job or cut down his working hours. She knew that he loved what he was doing and he helped her to reach her dream. Or he tried to anyway. The fact that he took a day off from work when she was upset or made a call to someone so that she could come into a fashion show and the fact that he took her out at night after a hard day just made him the perfect husband. No one could ever support her more than he did. So she had to do the same for him. Even though it meant that she wouldn't be very happy about it.

But, still. Seth knew her better than anyone else and he should know that she felt alone and abandoned. He should know that she hated to sleep alone, eat dinner by herself and live in a huge apartment with no one there to keep her company. Part of her thought that he should know those things. Maybe she was a selfish bitch, but he knew that too. He just knew her and he was ignoring her feelings. At least she felt like he was.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth had called Summer three times now. Where the hell was she?

Maybe she was angry and didn't want to pick up or she wasn't at home and had turned her cell off, or she just didn't hear the phone. He had told her that he would call and she hadn't been too upset when he left. He had been allowed to kiss her and she'd told him that she loved him. But she had been sad and distant.

He tried calling her again, waiting several signals.

"Hello," Summer finally answered in a uncertain voice, very weakly.

"Hi Summer!"

"Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, it's me. Don't be too excited." Seth said sarcastically.

"Sorry."

"Where have you been? I've called you several times."

"I have been sleeping."

"Ever since I left?"

"No, I went up and watched the Valley but I guess I fell asleep on the couch."

"Okay. You must be tired then."

"No, I'm just bored."

"I'm sorry Sum. I know that we had plans and all." Seth said, sincerely sorry.

"Yeah," Summer replied sadly.

"Can't you call Marissa or someone else? You could go visit your dad or my parents." he suggested, trying to cheer her up.

"No, I don't feel like it."

"Summer, aren't you being a little unreasonable now?" Seth said, loosing a bit of his patience.

"Unreasonable? Seth, you left me all by myself here. We had plans. I don't want to do anything else!" Summer argued, obviously not caring how she sounded because she didn't sound very nice.

"But our plans changed. Why don't you try to be positive and do something instead of staying in?"

"No," she replied stubbornly.

"What are you doing tomorrow then?" Seth said, sighing and trying to continue the conversation without fighting.

"Nothing."

"Summer. Why are you being so stubborn? Go out and do something tomorrow. Ask a friend to come with you to the mall."

"You mean instead of you?"

"Yes. Instead of me."

"I hate it when you're away." she whined, knowing that she wasn't being very nice to him at the moment.

"I know you do, but it's not for long. I'll be home soon. And it's not like I haven't been away before."

"But I never see you!"

"You do see me. Every day, at morning and at dinner."

"Wow! Two times every day. In the morning while you're all stressed and in the evening when you're tired and want to sleep." Summer fought, talking with a louder and colder voice.

"Summer! I do have time for you."

"No, you don't!"

"Summer, don't be like this. You can't honestly think that I'm not at home spending time with you!"

"That is exactly how it is! A couple of hours aren't enough for me when I am by myself all days. I want it to be like it was before. I want to eat lunch together and I want you to come home early a couple of times a week. I don't want you to leave me!" At this point Summer was almost yelling and her voice was unsteady, like she could start crying any second.

"Sum, please. I am not leaving you, baby. I am just working." Seth said, trying to calm her down.

"I don't care! All I know is that 80 percent of the time, I am alone. And you are at work!"

"Summer! I am working so that we can live in the apartment and so that you can buy things and so that you can work on your dream."

"My dream, huh? I don't care about it if it is like this Seth. I'll never succeed anyway."

"Don't say that. You'll make it if you just try hard enough and believe in yourself."

"Haven't I already tried hard enough? Do you know how hard it is to me to always get another no! There's no point in trying anymore."

"Yes it is."

"I don't want to talk anymore Seth."

"Don't hang up."

"I'm tired"

"No, you are not. Don't hang up Summer!"

"Have a great time. Bye."

"Summer…" Seth pleaded, but she was already gone. "Damnit!"

She made him feel so bad. But the things she'd said weren't entirely true.

They were still hard to hear though. And especially from a heartbroken Summer.

Maybe she just needed some time; she was upset now. But he sure couldn't figure out why she was so upset.

He hadn't even been away for a day.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_I don't really like to write about the two of them unhappy and fighting, but I feel like I have to. _

_They can't be happy all the time. That is what my other stories are for._

_Please, review!_

_I honestly adore them all. _

_Thank you._


	4. The loneliness of nights alone

_Thank you for reviewing!_

_Please continue to do so._

_A Heart's Desire _

The loneliness of nights alone

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The loneliness of nights alone  
the search for strength to carry on  
my every hope had seemed to die  
my eyes had no more tears to cry  
then like the sun shining from up above  
you surrounded me with your endless love  
and all things I couldn't see are now so clear to me

Summer tossed and turned in the bed. It was in the middle of the night, yet she hadn't even slept for a second. All she could think about was how bad she felt. And she couldn't get that song out off her head.

You are my everything  
Nothing your love won't bring  
My life is yours alone  
The only love I've ever known  
Your spirit pulls me through  
When nothing else will do  
Every night I pray  
On bended knee  
That you will always be  
My everything

She missed him and she hated to fight. He was right. She should make the best of it. This week wasn't going to be any fun but if they were fighting it would be so much worse. She checked the clock on the bedside table; 4.09.

She just couldn't stay in this bed any longer. All she had been doing the last 24 hours was sleeping, it seemed.

Hesitantly, not sure what time it was in Japan, she dialed Seth's number. It took a while for him to answer and when he did it was with a sleepy voice. Summer immediately felt even worse and wished that she hadn't called him and interrupted his sleep. She guessed that he would need it since she knew how tired he got from flying.

"Hi Seth, it's me." she carefully said, thinking of what to say to him next. Seth seemed surprised that she was calling him, and especially in the middle of the night. At least in California.

"Um, hi."

"Am I disturbing something?" Summer gently asked, afraid that he maybe wasn't in the mood to speak with her after what she'd said.

"Not at all."

"Good. I just wanted to talk."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. What have you done today?"

"Not much. The work starts tomorrow, most of it anyways. To tell you the truth I have been thinking of you a lot."

"Oh. I have been thinking of you too." she replied, feeling better by just hearing his voice.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. But I can't sleep."

"Maybe you've just been doing that for too long." Seth said, referring at their last conversation.

"Probably." It got quiet.

"So…" Seth started.

"So…."

"What do you wanna talk about?"

"I don't know."

"Okay."

"Seth, this is weird." Summer said, annoyed.

"I know."

"It shouldn't be."

"I know."

"Don't say that all the time. Help me out here."

"Summer, I am trying too, to make this conversation not to end but I don't think it's going very well."

"I know."

"Maybe we should talk more in the morning."

"Maybe. I think I can sleep now."

"Yeah?"

"I just didn't want you to hate me, that's all."

"I don't hate you Summer, I never could."

"Good."

"So, are you gonna go to bed?"

"Yes."

"Goodnight then. I love you."

"Yeah, you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

They both hung up, glad that they had talked but wishing that they has talked for much longer, like they used to talk on the phone.

Seth sat back down on the hotel's bed. It was nothing like the one at home. The room wasn't either. Everything in a hotel room was so strange, tidy and not like home. It was so clear that this wasn't somebody's home; it was just somewhere people slept.

Seth was happy that Summer wasn't angry anymore, or that she was trying anyway. She was still angry, he knew that. She didn't say that she loved him and she always did if nothing was wrong. She'd said 'you too'.

Although, Seth knew that she did love him. He could feel it. But he wanted to hear it too.

Now all my hopes and all my dreams  
are suddenly reality  
you've opened up my heart to feel  
a kind of love that's truly real  
a guiding light that'll never fade  
there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade  
for the love you give and wont let go  
I hope you'll always know

Summer lay down in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Once she turned her head to the side, she saw the picture standing on Seth's bedside table. It was taken maybe a year ago and it was so perfect. They both loved it.

They had been on the beach that day, just the two of them. It had been one of the best days in Summer's life.

Flashback

Summer shivered as she stood with her bare feet in the water, feeling the waves hit her legs. The sun was warmly shining and the birds were flying in the clear blue sky. She smiled even brighter when she felt a hand grab hers. She immediately squeezed it and turned her head to meet the love of her life; Seth.

"Hi,"

"Hi beautiful." he replied and brought her hand up to kiss it. Summer loved to receive kissed like those; kisses of worship.

"I love this place." Summer said while leaning against him. "I love to be here with you." Seth placed a lingering kiss on her temple before taking both of her hands and leading her up to the beach, where their picnic was waiting.

This was something they did a lot; going out to the beach or some other place and have lunch. They liked it when they were alone and not in some restaurant full of people.

"Promise me that we'll always do this." Summer said as they sat down on the blanket, close together.

"Anything for you, Summer."

End of Flashback

The picture had been taken by a man who was walking on the beach with his dog.

She rolled over to Seth's side of the bed, still looking at the photo. She dug her head tighter into the pillow; it smelled like Seth. She decided to sleep there tonight.

You are my everything  
Nothing your love won't bring  
My life is yours alone  
The only love I've ever known  
Your spirit pulls me through  
When nothing else will do  
Every night I pray  
On bended knee  
That you will always be  
My everything

You're the breath of life in me  
the only one that sets me free  
and you have made my soul complete  
for all time

You are my everything  
Nothing your love won't bring  
My life is yours alone  
The only love I've ever known  
Your spirit pulls me through  
When nothing else will do  
Every night I pray  
On bended knee  
That you will always be  
be my everything

Every night I pray  
down on bended knee  
that you will always be  
my everything  
oh my everything

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer was determined to keep her promise to Seth. Today she would do something. She had called Marissa and they were going to the mall. So, right now, Summer was getting ready for a day out. The thought of that it should have been with Seth, she tried her hardest to push aside. She could not let herself think about it; it would just ruin the day.

To see Marissa was a good thing. Not as good as being with Seth, but then again, Summer wasn't thinking about him today. Her and Marissa had stayed close throughout the years and they were still very good friends, maybe even best friends. But now it was more like Seth was Summer's best friend. He was the one she told everything and he was the one she trusted more than anyone else in the whole world.

But Summer was not thinking about him right now. She was going out with Marissa, still Cooper. She hadn't gotten married yet, which was pretty much a surprise to Summer. She'd always thought that Marissa would get married before herself. After all, Marissa was older, but only a few months. Summer had also believed that it would have been Ryan and Marissa getting married, but she figured that not everybody can marry their high school sweetheart.

Summer had, and it was the best thing she'd ever done. She had never been happier than the day she said I do in front of all the people she loved and most important, to the person she loved to death. She would always love Seth. Even though at the moment, things were complicated and she hated that he was leaving her at home for work all the time, she would always love him.

There he was again. Her thought drifted away, constantly onto him. As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. It was probably Marissa coming to pick Summer up.

Summer hurried to the door and let her friend in, greeting her with a hug.

"Hi Coop."

"Hi, are you ready?"

"Yes. Just let me get my purse." Summer said and went back to the bedroom to get the brown purse lying on the bed. The sheets were still a mess from her sleeping in them. She had slept pretty good last night. It had been nice and comforting to sleep on Seth's pillow looking at the picture until she fell asleep.

After taking her purse and walking to the door, she quickly went turned and went to hug the pillow. She inhaled the scent she knew so well and lightly kissed it before laying it down again and taking a finale quick look at the photograph.

She then rushed to Marissa, who was waiting impatiently for her.

"Come on, let's go."

"Why such a hurry?" Summer asked as they made their way to the car.

"I can't wait to buy something. And I just have to buy me a new dress."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"So, where is Seth anyway?" Marissa asked as they had been walking around the stores for about two hours.

"He's in Japan." Summer said calmly and continued to look at the clothes. "This one is cute. Do you think it's cute?" Summer held up a pink top.

"Sum! Seth's in Japan?"

"Yeah."

"Why? And why haven't you told me? How long has he been there?" Marissa asked and hung the pink top back.

"Work. He left yesterday. Will be away for a week."

"Oh, Summer." Marissa said and got a terrible look on her face.

"What?"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. Really." She said, trying to reassure Marissa.

"But don't you miss him? I know that if William left for a week I would miss him so much."

"Of course I miss him Coop!" Summer snapped.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just didn't know…well, he works a lot so I figured that you maybe were used to it, you know." Marissa explained nervously.

"Used to it?" Summer said angry. "He works a lot but you can't get used to have him away and he always comes home at night so it's not the same when he's working here. You don't even know how much I miss him and how hard it is!" Summer almost yelled at her friend, who stood listening, knowing that this was the start to one of the rage blackouts.

"Sum, calm down okay? I know that you miss him and I have no idea how it is like." She started, trying desperately to make her friend stop screaming. "I would miss William terribly but I'm sure that since you are married and everything you'll miss Seth more." Marissa said and led her friend out of the store. "Let's go eat something."

Summer fallowed being in a really bad mood. And she wasn't even supposed to think about him.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_Did you like it? Or maybe you didn't? Let me know._

_I'll update soon if you review and I would love some suggestions._

_Please review!_


	5. Together?

_Hi everybody!_

_I'm sorry that it took some time to post this chapter. _

_It might end funny but if you give me really good reviews I will update really soon._

_Please Read & Review!_

_A Heart's Desire_

Together...?

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

A few days passed. Seth and Summer had talked on the phone a lot and things were better. Summer had accepted that he would be away and she knew that it wasn't Seth's fault. She couldn't be mad at him forever and even though she still wasn't happy about being alone at home, she dealt with it. For him and for her.

Today, it was Tuesday and Summer had been to a meeting. It was one of those where she went there, got asked a few questions and showed some sketches and then got a 'we'll call you'. A 'we'll call you' always meant a no, and every time Summer got sad and felt sorry for herself. She used to call Seth at work and he would come straight home and make her feel better. He always let her spill out every feeling she had inside of her and every frustration. After a while, once she started to cry again, she had nothing more to say.

Seth always made her feel better and he always told her how wonderful she was and that she should keep trying and one day she was going to get an yes and then the ones who turned her down would regret not being the ones saying that. And after that Seth would take her out or they would do something fun at home. Anything to make her feel better and, once again the things that made her sad was forgotten and life was back to normal.

This time he wasn't there though. But Summer decided to call him anyway. She couldn't just sit in the apartment and cry. It would end with her killing herself or something. The meeting had gone as it always did; good in the start but then in the end just a 'we'll call you'.

Summer wiped her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her shirt before hearing Seth's voice into her ear. "Hi Seth," she said and sat down at the couch, taking a pillow into her lap.

"Hi Summer!" Seth merrily said, probably forgetting what day it was. He probably had too much work going on in his head. Therefore Summer didn't say anything; she wanted him to remember. And after a while he seemed to do so as he spoke in an apologetically voice. "Oh, Summer. How did it go?"

"Like it always do. Like crap." Summer said sadly, not angry. "I was there for 15 minutes." she continued and could almost hear Seth nodding.

"Well, you know what I always tell you."

"Yeah, yeah. Another no in the line is getting me closer to a yes." Summer said, sighing.

"It's true. You'll be able to sell your clothes one day, baby. I'm sure of that because you are so good."

"Nobody else seems to think I am."

"I always will. It doesn't matter what random people think. They don't know you and they sure don't know how hard you have worked."

"No they don't. Because I have worked hard."

"Yes, you have."

"Really hard." Summer added, pouting.

"Why don't you take a bath and listen to some music. I'm sure that will make you think of something else." Seth suggested. It was kind of a thing he said instead of 'I'll come home right now'.

"Maybe, but I don't want to be alone." she said sadly and if Seth wasn't feeling guilty yet he definitely was now.

"Summer," he started. "You know that I would be there with you if I could."

"I know but it's not really helping."

"I know. But please try to…"

"Seth, I am trying. How much does it take for you to understand that? I am trying but apparently I'm no good at it."

"Sum, I know. I know."

"Why do you keep telling me that I'm not trying hard enough and that I'm not positive enough then?"

"I'm sorry. I know that you're doing your best."

"I am. But I just feel really lonely." The 'angry' voice disappeared and all that was left was sadness in it.

"I know you do. But it's not long until I'll come home. It's only a few days left. I'm sure you can find company in the meantime; you have lots of friends."

"I do. But it's not the same to spend time with them now. Now I have to because otherwise I'll die of loneliness but when you're here I can be with them when I feel like it."

"If you are trying to make me feel even worse for being away, it's working. Summer, don't you know that I already feel like shit for being her?" Seth told her, getting tired of always trying to make her feel better when the only thing she did was complaining.

"I am just telling you how I'm feeling."

"Maybe you should tell things in a nicer way."

"So now I'm a bitch to you?" Summer asked sounding a little hurt.

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean. You have to be _extra_ clear because I can't see you. Because we're talking over the _phone_."

"Summer, that is exactly what I mean. I don't want you to talk like that. Here I am trying to make you feel better and suggesting things for you to do and all you're saying is that I'm over here and I have left you and that I make you miserable."

"Well, I'm only telling you what's true. And I might overreact sometimes and let my feelings take over. I might say things that I regret saying and I might say things rude. But I'm alone over here and I'm tired of you working!"

"Why is this such a big deal, Summer? It's a week and I've been gone for a week before."

"I don't know!"

"Well, then figure it out because I don't want to hear…"

"Why are you yelling at me!"

"Because the only thing you do is wining at me."

"I do not. I just want you home."

"You have to be able to handle things on your own Summer. You can't be so dependent on me!" Seth said and Summer on the other side of the line got quiet. This, she had no reply to, no comment.

After a few minutes hearing nothing Seth called her name. "I hate you!" was what he got back and then Summer hung up, throwing the phone into the wall.

She was so angry. He wasn't supposed to act like that. He never screamed at her like that and he never said such hurtful things. Was she too depending on him? Maybe she was but that was entirely his fault. He was the one who always treated her like the most precious thing in the whole world. He was the one making her that way!

Summer forcefully lay down on the sofa, her head into the pillow. She screamed as loud as she could as tears were soaking it.

Seth didn't know why she was acting like this. She was acting like a bitch and she knew it. It wasn't her though. Sure it was Summer, but she had abandoned the bitchiness a long time ago. But apparently she really was pissed, or just very emotional. Maybe she was having PMS.

But just because she was emotional and just because she missed him did not mean that she had the right to say whatever she felt like and treat him the way she did. He was working and he was doing it for her. Why couldn't she understand that?

So, Seth was mad. At her.

And Summer was mad at him.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The next day Seth was at work as usual. He was preparing a presentation for some random guys in suits. He couldn't focus though. For the first time in a long time, he couldn't focus.

He decided to get some coffee and went down the hall to the coffee machine. Of course it wasn't for free, nothing ever was. So he pulled out his wallet and paid. The coffee was in a cheap mug and it was expensive. It didn't taste good either.

"Excuse me, Mr. Cohen?" a voice called after him. Now, a small Japanese probably wanted to talk to him about how he was liking the country. Wasn't he tired of those questions?

"Yeah?" he said in a nice tone though, turning around.

"You dropped this." the Japanese said and gave him a photograph. He smiled thankfully and she walked away. She didn't even ask how he was doing. He shrugged and made his way into his 'office'.

He sat down at his desk and sipped the coffee again. It tasted like water with mud in it. It was definitely the most disgusting coffee he'd ever drunk. As he made a grimace, his attention fell to the photograph.

It was Summer. It was the picture he always had in his wallet; it was the picture covering all the picture space. Summer looked beautiful at it.

And he missed her. He hated fighting with her. And it was stupid. Because she was right, partly anyway. He worked a lot. Maybe too much sometimes. But it was just to be able to support her and give her everything she wanted. He was doing it for her. And he still couldn't understand why she was being so upset about this but she was. Summer was upset and she was angry and she was not okay and he hated to know that it was because of him.

As he looked at her happy face, all smiling, he couldn't understand why he was sitting in a random office, drinking disgusting coffee in Japan. He spent all his time with all these people in suits; that will say when he wasn't alone. He slept in a bed with sheets feeling like paper and with pillows so flat that he could as well sleep without one. He ate strange food with strange company, heard people speaking a language he didn't understand and saw places he didn't know existed.

He did all this when he could be having dinner at his kitchen table, dinner that tasted like it should taste. He could be watching a rental movie in his couch, taking a shower in his shower. And best of all, he could be doing all these things together with Summer; the most beautiful person on earth. Summer that was his wife, Summer that made his life worth living, Summer that loved him more than he ever thought anyone could.

To have someone next to you, knowing that they always held your back, was amazing. Feeling something as deep as his love for Summer was beautiful. To be able to wake up with an angel next to you every morning was incredible.

A tear rolled down his cheek and he didn't even bother to wipe it away.

He had let her down. He had taken her for granted and he had done something that she wasn't agreeing on. They were two in this marriage. And something so important as being together had been put aside.

Seth pulled his phone up and brought it to his ear. He had to make things right.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_I know that you guys don't like them fighting and don't like Summer being a bitch but this is my story. _

_I hate it as much as you do but I'm kind of tired of just writing fluff and cuteness. I am trying to do it less even though I love it. _

_Thanks to these people: _seancu_thbertca, Jen, Cill, purplesha, Chris2035, kalexgurl, nefftys, theocroxxx, ososxcseth, ItalHunni28, Mel, skagirl, MrsCohen and Ella._

_Thanks to these people for reviewing every chapter so far: kursk, Only, psparkle7189 and Coheny_

_Review and tell me what you liked._

_I'll update very soon if your replies are good but don't be afraid to criticize me. _

_Review! Please!_


	6. I know what's real

_Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! _

_I really got inspired to write so here it is. Chapter six._

_A Heart's Desire_

I know what's real

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Of course Summer wasn't answering. That was to be expected when the last thing she said to him was that she hated him. He had to let her know though, so he left a message and dialled another number.

"Hello?" Kirsten Cohen said.

"Hi mom," Seth replied, thankful that she was answering.

"Seth! How are you?" she said, obviously happy to hear from him.

"I'm good mom. Or actually not so good." he said and understood that he didn't make any sense. "I need your help." he continued.

"Oh, has something happened?" Kirsten asked, worried.

"Summer and I are fighting. And I'm in Japan and she's not answering her phone. So I was wondering if you could go see if she's alright."

"You're in Japan?"

"Yeah, I'm in Japan. But could you please go see how Summer is? And maybe tell her to call me."

"Yes, of course. Is it that bad?"

"I think so. She said that she hates me."

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sure that she didn't mean that."

"I'm sure she did. I've been an ass."

"You are admitting it, anyway. That's the first step to make things right."

"Yeah."

"I'll go see Summer and I'll call you after."

"Thanks mom, and could you also tell her to check her messages and that I love her?"

"I'll tell her. Don't worry."

"Thanks again mom. I love you."

"I love you, too. Bye."

"Bye."

Seth put the phone down and made his way out of his 'office'.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer saw her message; Seth had called her. She was in the bathtub, trying to calm herself down.

Ever since the conversation with Seth she had just wanted to throw things and scream. And she had done that for a while, before realizing that she would be the one cleaning the mess she did up. And as she had thrown a vase onto the floor so that it broke into a million peaces, she also realized that she was losing control. She was highly overreacting. She was having a rage blackout.

So, she decided to stop and calm down, therefore the bath. She had even lit a few candles to create a more reassuring environment. And she'd brought the phone in case anyone called. And right now she wanted nothing more than to listen to the message; she wasn't good at being stubborn when it came to things like this. She was just too curious and couldn't pretend like there wasn't a message on her phone. She had to listen to it, otherwise she would explode.

So, after drying her hands, she pulled the phone to her ear and listened carefully.

_"Summer, hi. You're not answering and I guess that is because you're mad at me. I understand that and I can't blame you. I have been an ass and I have not been thinking through my decisions very carefully lately. If I had, I would have known that I am making you hurt and I shouldn't have gone here. I honestly didn't know that this was so important to you and I…I'm sorry. I've been selfish and I have not done what is the most important thing in my life. I haven't been home with you. I am so sorry that I did this to you, that I made you feel like I don't have time for you and that I am abandoning you. But, Summer, you have to know that you are everything to me and nothing matters without you. My work cannot even compete with my feelings for you. So, I am begging you, to please call me back. Please forgive me. I will not let you be alone anymore; I'm coming home as soon as I can. I tell my boss that it's an emergency because it is; this is. And I don't care if I lose my job as long as I still have you. So, I'll see you soon and I hope that you don't hate me. Because I love you. I love you so much Summer. Never, ever doubt that. Bye." _

That was a very cute apology. And it was so typical Seth. He always had a thing with his words and when he said the right words Summer always melted. She couldn't be mad at him when he did that. At least not for a while.

But she couldn't let him get away with it so easily. She had been really mad at him. And even though he was being adorable and did the right thing she couldn't call him back, as much as she wanted to.

Before Summer could really decide what to do, she heard the door bell. She quickly got up and pulled a robe around herself. She could have just stayed in the tub though she was curious on who was at the door. She had been alone for quite a while so she was in need for some company.

Summer hurried out to the foyer in her slippers and robe. She had a towel in her hand that she tried to dry her hair with. She opened the door and was surprised at who she saw. "Kirsten?"

"Yes. Hi Summer!" Kirsten said in a merrily voice. Summer stood there all wet just staring. "Summer?"

"Oh, sorry. Come on in." she said and opened the door wider, stepping aside to let her mother-in-law in. "I've just taken a bath."

"You can go and put on something. I'll just wait here." Kirsten said friendly, seeing that Summer was a bit embarrassed.

"You sure? Do you want anything?"

"I'll just help myself in the kitchen, if that's okay. Take your time." Kirsten said and went to the kitchen as Summer hurried to the bedroom.

About ten minutes later, Summer entered the kitchen dressed in jeans and a shirt; one of Seth's shirts. Her hair was in a messy pig tail and she was make-up free.

"Hi," she said as she saw Kirsten sitting by the table with some coffee, reading today's paper.

"Hi again." Kirsten replied and put the paper away. Summer served herself some coffee too and sat down on the chair in front of Kirsten. "How are things?"

"Good. You?"

"I'm great. You probably wonder what I'm doing here."

"Kind of yes, but it's very nice that you came." Summer said, not wanting to be rude.

"Well, to tell you the truth Seth called me."

"Oh." Summer said and was suddenly very fascinated of the cup she held in her hands.

"He wanted to make sure that you are okay." she carefully started. "Did you get his message?"

"Yes." Summer said quietly.

"He's really sorry about whatever he's done. I could tell when I talked to him."

"I know he is."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Good then. He said that he'll be home as soon as he can." Summer nodded and drank some of her coffee. "Do you want to talk about it? I'll listen if you want me to." Kirsten offered.

"Thanks." Summer said and fumbled with the shirt she was wearing. She really wanted to set things right again. She got up from her chair and picked out some cookies from the bread basket standing on the counter and placed them on the table. "I don't know why I am making this such a big deal." she said as she sat down again, taking a cookie.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

"It's nothing really. He's just working." Summer sighed and bit her cookie.

"It must be something if you two are fighting over it."

"Last Friday he told me that he was going to go to Japan. The next day."

"He mentioned something about Japan."

"He'll be away for a week and it's not exactly the first time. He's just working so much."

"Too much?"

"I think so. But he doesn't seem to agree. Well, not before I heard his message anyway."

"He apologized?"

"Yeah. And it was really sweet."

"So…"

"I don't know. I can't stay mad at him but he just makes me feel…alone. It's nothing like it was when we'd first gotten married."

"Marriage has its ups and downs but in the end you'll stick to each other. And I know that you and Seth can work this out."

"How do you know that? We're not even on the same continent."

"Because you love each other. I have never seen Seth look at anyone the way he looks at you and I know for sure that he wouldn't trade anything in the world for you Summer."

That made Summer smile. She already knew that but needed to hear it anyway. She and Seth were meant to be together. They had been together for too long to let something like this come in their way. She just needed to hear that from him and she needed to say that to him. Face to face.

"Summer?"

"Sorry. I was just thinking."

"About Seth?"

"Yes. I really miss him." Kirsten nodded, understanding. "I have been acting so stupid. You know what I told him?"

"No." Kirsten said and shook her head.

"I told him that I hated him. And I don't. I don't hate him the tiniest bit."

"I know you don't sweetie. And so does Seth."

"I hope so. I have been so…not nice to him. I have been too emotional. More emotional than I usually am even."

"Maybe you've just never let all your feelings out before."

"Maybe. I just want him to come home so that we can talk."

"He'll be home really soon."

"Yeah." Summer said and finished eating her cookie. "Thank you. For everything."

"It's nothing, sweetie. I am just doing my duty as a mother-in-law."

"Thanks anyway. I needed this." Summer said and went to give the mother of her husband a warm hug. Kirsten happily hugged her back.

"So, do you need any company waiting until he gets home?"

"I would love that."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_So this chapter wasn't one of my nest. It was kind of a fill in chapter. _

_I have recieved some suggestions on Kirsten/Summer talk and I do love Summer's relationship with Seth's parents. _

_I think that you all will like the next chapter. I'll post it as soon as I can._

_Please review!_


	7. I'm shining like a candle in the dark

_Thank you so much for reviewing!_

_I honestly love you so much and the reviews are the reason that I update this soon so keep them coming._

_A Heart's Desire_

I'm shining like a candle in the dark

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth walked into the apartment. It felt so good to be home again. He had been away for much longer before but this really felt better than ever before. He placed his bags on the floor and went straight to the living room where he figured that Summer would be but as he heard some noises from the kitchen he jogged there instead.

"Mom?" he said in surprise. The person making all the noise was his mother doing the dishes. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you too Seth. I am cleaning things up." she said and continued with the dishes.

"I can see that, but why? Where's Summer?"

"I have been keeping her company today. We had dinner and then we watched a movie." Kirsten explained.

"So, where is she?" Seth asked impatiently.

"She's sleeping on the couch."

"Oh. How is she then?" Seth asked more gentle and sat down at one of the bar chairs.

"She's okay. And I promise I'll leave you two alone soon. I'm just gonna finish this."

"Mom, you don't have to."

"Seth, you have just come home. You don't want to take care of the dishes."

"I can just put them in the dish washer." Seth shrugged.

"No, you cannot. Not everything can be washed in there."

"Okay. I'll let you finish." Seth said and took of his jacket and was left with a light blue shirt and his tie, but he took it off too and unbuttoned the two first buttons of his shirt.

"Better?" Kirsten asked as she dried a bowl with a towel. Seth hadn't noticed his mother being done so quickly.

"That went quick."

"I told you it wouldn't take long." Seth nodded and Kirsten finished drying the bowl and put it onto a shelf. She then hung the towel on its right place and checked that there was nothing left.

"So, I guess I better be going now, huh?" she said and began to walk to the foyer.

"Mom," Seth started as she put on her jacket.

"I know." she smiled and gave him a hug.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, make things right again."

"I will." Seth replied and Kirsten went out of the front door. Seth smiled and almost ran to the living room.

Summer was lying curled on the couch with her arms under a pillow. Her hair was pretty much a mess and was half covering her face. Seth noticed her shirt, or more specifically his shirt. He smiled. The fact that she was wearing his shirt must mean something. But, at this point, he wasn't expecting much.

He carefully sat down at the floor beside her and stroked the hair away from her face. She frowned a bit and scratched her nose. She was being so cute when she was sleeping but then again, she was always cute.

"God, I've missed you." he said in a low voice and caressed her face, trading lines over her cute little nose and around her perfect lips. Since he didn't want to wake her up, he just sat there looking at her overwhelmed of how much he really loved her. After some time he fell asleep as well with his head resting on the couch close to hers and with his hands holding hers.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer woke up and knew at once that she had slept in a weird position because her back hurt and her arm was numb so she figured that she must have slept on it. It was also unusually hot so she figured that she had too much clothes on. She opened her eyes and was met by a sleeping Seth. He had his head so close to hers that she could feel his breathing.

"Cohen!" she yelled into his face and he immediately sat straight up, almost losing his balance as he did so.

"Ouch!" he moaned. Summer rose from the couch and helped him get up. She did it naturally, without thinking and he let her help him up to sit on the couch. It was first then they noticed where they were and who they were with.

"Sorry." Summer whispered as they stared at each other. It had only been a few days but they still seemed to be looking different. It seemed like more than a few days, it felt like weeks. Before Seth managed to reply or say anything at all, Summer flung her arms round his neck and climbed into his lap. She buried her head in the space between his shoulder and neck as Seth wrapped his arms as tight as he could around her and slowly rocked her, hearing her sniffling quietly.

Although he was glad that she was doing this, hugging him and being all loving, he had expected her to scream at him or have that cold act turned on when she pretended like he wasn't there. Summer never seemed to stop surprise him; he never really knew what she was thinking or what she was about to do. But that was one of the many things that he loved about her, that she was being a little mysterious. As long as he'd known her there were always new things to explore about her. There were so many things about her that he knew and that he loved and every day, something was added to the list of things to love about Summer.

After a while, when Seth thought that Summer might have fallen asleep, he pulled away a bit. Summer kept holding on to him though and Seth was forced to stay in their embrace. Not that he didn't want to, because he did. He just wanted to talk and see her face and kiss her lips again. "Summer," he started in a low voice, talking into her hair hoping for her to hear him.

"Shhh. Don't say anything." she replied quickly and kissed his neck softly. "Let's just stay like this."

Seth of course, didn't complain. As long as he got to hold her in his arms everything was fine; more than fine. Everything was great. He moved them though to a more comfortable position. He lay down on the couch and brought Summer with him so that she was laying partly on top of him and partly on the couch farthest in. Summer seemed to drift off again. She didn't seem to do anything else than sleep.

Before trying to sleep as well, Seth kissed Summer's temple and snuggled closer to her, if that was possible. "I love you, Summer." he whispered and fell asleep.

After about an hour Summer woke up and jumped up from the couch, rushing for the bathroom. She barely reached the toilet when she threw up. God, she hated to vomit; it was so disgusting. But right now she did not care. She just wanted to empty her stomach as quickly as possible so that it would be over.

As she was done she flushed the toilet and sat down on the floor, wiping her mouth with a towel. The she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and noticed Seth sitting down next to her. He brought her close to him and stroked her hair. Summer was still feeling awful so she just leaned her head against him and closed her eyes.

"Come on, Sum." Seth said after a minute or too and helped her up. He led her to the kitchen and sat her down on one of the bar chairs. He then filled a glass with water and gave it to her. She grabbed it and drank some, immediately feeling better.

"You feeling better?" Seth asked gently as she put the glass down onto the counter.

"Yeah, thanks."

"You sure?" Seth asked, concerned.

"I'm sure." Summer replied and gave him a smile.

Seth smiled back and went to give her a hug from behind. "I'm glad." he said and kissed her cheek. He continued his way downwards, tracing kisses along her neckline and collarbone. Summer moaned slightly as his warm tongue made contact with her soft skin, his hands caressing her shoulders tenderly. They both had missed this, being together, and that made them want this more than anything else right now. Seth continued to place kisses all over her bare skin and after getting so into it he just wanted to touch her everywhere and decided that the shirt had to go. He carefully placed his both hands on the hem of it and pulled it over her head.

Summer suddenly stopped him as his hands went to unclasp her bra. She brought his hands up to her face and gently kissed them. Seth then leaned in to kiss her but Summer put her finger over his lips. "What's wrong?" Seth asked a little hurt. Maybe she didn't want to, maybe she was still angry.

"I have to brush my teeth first." Summer said referring to her puking before but Seth shook his head no.

"No, I don't care." Seth told her and smiled slightly, tucking some hair behind her ear and stroking her cheek.

"I know, but I want to."

"Okay." Seth said softly and let her slip down from the chair. As she begun to walk away Seth grabbed her arm and turned her around. "I love you." he said and let go of her arm.

"I know." Summer said and left the kitchen to go to the bathroom. Seth picked up the shirt and walked towards the bedroom. He hadn't been in there for a while but it still looked the same. It was very tidy except some of Summer's clothes hanging on an armchair. He sat down onto the bed and waited for Summer to come out of the bathroom.

"Hi," Summer said as she walked into the bedroom, still in her bra and jeans. Seth couldn't help but smile at her as she walked towards him. She stopped right in front of him and he placed his hands on either side of her waist and pulled her down into his lap. "Hi,"

Summer then kissed him, for real this time. The kiss was very soft yet filled with passion. As Summer was about to pull away Seth opened her mouth with his tongue and slipped it inside of her mouth, inviting hers to do the same. They lowered themselves so that they were lying on the bed, Summer on top of Seth. The making out session soon led to more and after a few minutes they were both naked, happy to be together again.

I wanna call the stars  
Down from the sky  
I wanna live a day  
That never dies  
I wanna change the world  
Only for you  
All the impossible  
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close  
Under the rain  
I wanna kiss your smile  
And feel the pain  
I know what's beautiful  
Looking at you  
In a world of lies  
You are the truth

And baby  
Everytime you touch me  
I become a hero  
I'll make you safe  
No matter where you are  
And bring you  
Everything you ask for  
Nothing is above me  
I'm shining like a candle in the dark  
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see  
Just what I was  
Show you the loneliness  
And what it does  
You walked into my life  
To stop my tears  
Everything's easy now  
I have you here

And baby  
Everytime you touch me  
I become a hero  
I'll make you safe  
No matter where you are  
And bring you  
Everything you ask for  
Nothing is above me  
I'm shining like a candle in the dark  
When you tell me that you love me

In a world without you  
I would always hunger  
All I need is your love to make me stronger

And baby  
Everytime you touch me  
I become a hero  
I'll make you safe  
No matter where you are  
And bring you  
Everything you ask for  
Nothing is above me  
I'm shining like a candle in the dark  
When you tell me that you love me

You love me  
When you tell me that you love me

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_So, he came home! I just couldn't have them apart any longer. The conflict about Seth's work though, might not be over just yet._

_I have recieved lots of reviews and it seems like a lot of you want them to have a baby. Do you? I'll let you vote about it and we'll see. _

_So, baby or no baby?_

_Please review and make this story worth writing!_


	8. You and I are one

_The reviews from last chapter were overwhelming. Thanks, you guys!_

_I've taken all of your wishes into consideration._

_This chapter is kind of filled with fluff and I might have to warn you that there will be some physical affection. :)_

_A Heart's Desire_

You and I are one

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer slowly opened her eyes and stretched out on the big bed. Seth's side on the bed was empty but since she was naked and slightly could feel his scent she knew that it couldn't have been a dream. She grabbed the shirt he'd worn the day before and took a pair of his boxers before heading out to the kitchen.

Seth picked two cups out of the cupboard as Summer walked into the room. He smiled at the sight. She was wearing his clothes again, something that he liked, and her dark hair laid spread over the light blue shirt. She looked beautiful.

"Morning!" he said and brought her closer to him, the feelings from the night before returning. She replied by jumping up in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him deeply.

Seth carried her to the counter and sat her down while still kissing her. Her hands found their way to his curls as his went to her waist, caressing her up and down through the shirt, so thin that he could almost feel her skin. As the kissing and touching heated, Summer suddenly pulled away breathing heavily. Seth looked at her as if he wondered why she did that. "Morning," she said and pecking his lips once more before jumping down from the counter. She took both cups and filled them with coffee.

"Thanks," Seth said as she gave him one of them and made her way to the table. He fallowed her and sat down next to her, not in front of her as he used to sit.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Summer asked and looked at him curiously.

"I don't know. You haven't talked so much."

"Do I need to talk after last night, baby?" Summer asked him playfully and looked straight into his eyes.

"Well, no. Last night you talked really much. Oh, sorry my mistake, not talking but screaming." Seth smirked.

"I did not scream!" Summer said, trying to defend herself. She couldn't help but giggle though.

"You definitely did. And not quietly either."

"It wasn't that loud."

"Summer, it was loud." Seth told her. "But you know what?"

"No, what?"

"I kind of like it." Seth confessed and made her smile brighter.

"Uh huh, you like my screaming."

"I do."

"Well, good then. Because I might do it again."

"Good." Seth replied and the conversation died out. They both sat quietly drinking their coffee. After a while Seth spoke. "Summer?"

"Yeah?" she said in a weak voice.

"Don't you think that we should talk?"

"Talk? About what?"

"You know what about."

"No I don't."

"Summer,"

"Okay. Then talk if you want to."

"I just think that we should sort out all this."

"All this?"

"I am happy that we are like this; that we're not angry any more. Although we need to talk about what happened."

"I know."

"You wanna start?"

"Sure. First I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I know that I have been too sensitive and maybe even a little childish. I have been overreacting a bit." Summer confessed.

"Honey, even though I must agree and say that you might have overreacted a little it's totally understandable because I haven't been thinking at all. I'm sorry for going away in so short notice. You know that you are a thousand times more important than my work." Those last words placed a smile on Summer's face and her heart warmed. That was really all she needed to hear. An apology about an hour would never mean as much. "I'm sorry that I-" Seth started but Summer stopped him, placing her hand over his mouth. Seth tried to continue apologizing although all that was heard was weird noises that Summer couldn't help but giggle at.

After a few moments, when Summer lowered her hand and was still laughing, Seth managed to speak clearly. "Why are you laughing?" he asked as she continued to laugh, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"You…you are just so cute." she finally was able to utter throughout her laughing.

"Why…what did I do?" Seth asked in that innocent voice and it just made Summer laugh even harder. "Summer?"

"What, baby?" Summer said after pulling herself together. She took a few deep breaths and leaned a little more into Seth's chest, keeping her eyes focused on him though. When she understood that Seth wasn't going to say anything she started. "Cohen, you don't have to apologize any more, okay?"

Seth looked puzzled but nodded. "Okay,"

"I know that you're sorry and that's really all I need to know." Summer explained and smiled.

"But-" Seth started but was immediately interrupted, again. Summer placed her hands on each side of his face and brought his lips to hers in a soft kiss, making them both forget about the conversation. Seth brought his hands up to her waist, tracing lines with his fingers on the exposed skin of her abdomen, the place where the shirt hung loosely as she'd only buttoned a few buttons.

Summer shifted a little on his lap and moved her legs so that she was straddling him, not once breaking the kiss that deepened quickly. She could feel Seth responding eagerly, his lips hot capturing hers and making them all swollen. Slightly pulling away as the need of air was coming he nibbled her upper lip, their hands finding one other. Summer intertwined her smaller fingers with his and cupped his cheek with her other hand looking him straight in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered before tracing kisses over her face, starting with her forehead and making his way back to her waiting lips.

"I know. But don't be." Summer whispered back as the kiss ended, having brought the eagerness back. Their lips made contact again in a passionate kiss, making them both dizzy. They could never get tired of each other or being together like this. As Summer felt the need to touch him, to feel his bare skin under her hands, she pulled his T-shirt off. Seth's chest and stomach was exposed and even though he wasn't muscular at all Summer thought that he was perfect. He was slim and she could feel the muscles as she caressed him with her hands, tracing them all over the newly exposed skin, a little tanned to her satisfaction.

Seth moaned as her hands stroked his upper body everywhere and as she leaned down to kiss his stomach, making her way up to his ear and taking his earlobe into her warm mouth sucking on it. His ability to be patient and letting her work her magic had passed a long time ago so as he brought her lips back to his, kissing her tenderly, he lifted her up and slowly walked them to the bedroom.

Seth almost fell onto Summer as he lowered her to the bed, unbuttoning the shirt. Summer forcefully pulled his face down to hers and started to kiss him again, feeling Seth's tongue slip into her open mouth and caress her back. Seth finally made it to the last button and pulled the shirt away from Summer's chest, still letting her keep her arms in the sleeves though. He placed his hands on her waist and gently caressed her abdomen as she stroked his arms up and down, making him shiver by her touch.

As things really started to intense Seth broke the kiss. "Summer?" he said slightly out of breath. Summer ignored him and kissed him again, bringing his mouth to hers by pushing him down. As she realized that Seth wasn't as into it anymore she pulled away, sighing. "Yes?" she said trying not to sound too impatient. At the moment all she wanted was to be with him and the arousal inside of her grew by his every touch.

"I'm sorry," Seth whispered so softly into her ear, making her shiver as his breathing made contact with her skin. The gentleness in his voice made her heart melt all over again and as he caressed the space between her collarbone and breasts she could actually feel his love for her. He traced small kisses where his hands had touched her and then lifted his face to meet her gaze. His brown eyes sparkled and as Summer looked deep into them her own eyes got all watery.

As Seth saw the tears form in her eyes he placed one hand to cup her cheek while the other one went to stroke her hair. He placed a light kiss on her temple, showing her that it was alright. And if Summer didn't know that he was sorry before she definitely knew that now. His every movement was filling her with happiness and warmth. "I know." she finally whispered back and brought him to lie on top of her, wanting to have him as close as possible. Their lips met again and as so many times before everything felt right and perfect.

Seth lifted her up without breaking the kiss, pulling his shirt away from her and caressing every part of her beautiful body that was yet exposed. His hands moved to her breasts, stroking them and tracing his lips over her hardened nipples. Summer closed her eyes, tiny sounds escaping from her mouth and encouraging Seth to continue.

Soon the rest of their clothes came off their bodies, which heated more by every second passing. Touching each other in every place possible, their lips not leaving the other one's skin once, they connected. Seth rolled them over so that Summer was on top of him and they both began to move in perfect motions, letting their tongues play. Their breathing was hot and exhausted but that was not something that even made them think about slowing things down. Slow movements, feeling the passion surround them as their sweaty bodies filled with excitement, deep kisses and hands touching the heated skin that was transforming into a shape of pink was all they both focused on.

These things had probably been done a thousand times between the two of them but it always felt as new. It always felt like it was the first time and it always felt like it could be the last. The heart, the mind and the body always had to be concentrated and there. All they were allowed to think about and focus on was the act that was occurring but that never was a problem. How could something else be more important? How could anything interrupt their love making?

Summer pulled her head down to Seth's shoulder, trying hard not to bite him or scratch him too hard. Although she dug her nails further into his arms, feeling him slightly groan in pain. That didn't stop her because she knew that she couldn't stop and she also knew that Seth didn't really care about his arm right now. Her breathing was so heavy that she might not get enough of air but that didn't matter either. Summer kept kissing him, or more like placing her mouth on his neck breathing out hot air tickling him, while he pulled her as close to himself that he could with his hands on her slightly sweaty back.

They kept moving, feeling every movement bring them closer to their climax. Summer focused hard on keeping moving as she buried her face in the crock of Seth's neck, moaning loudly in pleasure. Her hands traveled downwards, caressing his skin quite roughly, and when they reached his bellybutton she steered her hands back up loving the warm skin underneath her fingers.

As Seth got closer to his release he placed his both hands on Summer's butt and helped her move faster, knowing by her sounds that she was close as well. Most of the times they had the luck to come about the same time and if it would take longer for one of them an extra hand working its magic usually brought them both all the pleasure that was needed. This time though it wasn't necessary. Summer was the one experiencing her orgasm first, moaning her husband's name out loud as her body slightly began to shake. She didn't stop moving though because she knew that Seth wasn't quite there yet.

It only took a few seconds until Seth was joining Summer's groans. "God!" he uttered and wrapped his arms as tightly around Summer as he could while she straddled him, crawling up to him, letting Seth's manhood slide out of her. As their sweaty bodies, naked and having just experienced fantastic orgasms, was this close it felt like their love grew by just a tiny bit. This connection and closeness was holy and nothing else could ever compare to these feelings.

"I love you. Like so much." Summer said after a while of none-talking, them both catching their breaths and recovering from the act. She lifted her head, slightly sweaty in the corners of her face. She was glowing though, having sparkles in her eyes and a huge smile on her lips. Seth looked pretty much the same and having a naked Summer in his arms after something like this was beyond amazing to him. This was when she looked most beautiful and when he felt most happy. The moment afterwards was as good as the sex, definitely.

Seth brought her perfect face down o his and they shared a kiss; a tender kiss that once again made their thoughts drift away. "I worship you, Summer."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_That was my attempt to a sex scene or maybe more of showing some love._

_What'd you think? Tell me, please! _

_At this point I could really use some suggestions so I would highly appreciate that._

_Remember that the reviews makes me HAPPY and they make me wrote faster. _

_So, people, if you want an update REVIEW! _


	9. What finally makes sense

_So, I know that it's been a while. Please forgive me!_

_Thank you all for reading and reviewing. _

_This story is dedicated to YOU._

_A Heart's Desire _

What finally makes sense 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Have a great time today with Marissa." Seth kissed his wife on her cheek and gave her a warm smile.

"I will. And you-" she told him in a sharp tone, pointing her finger at his chest. "have a great day at work. Don't think about me all the time."

"I'll try but I don't think that it's going to work." Seth said and pulled Summer closer not wanting to go to work at all. He wanted to stay with Summer and do what they had done the passed days.

Summer giggled and hugged him back, placing her smaller hands on his shoulder blades. "I think you'll be okay."

"Maybe. But I'll miss you. I've gotten so used to have you around every hour of the day." Seth smiled at her sadly as they pulled away slightly to look at each other.

"I'll miss you too." Summer said looking deeply into his eyes as he played with her hair, fumbling with a few or her shiny strands. "Now go!" Summer pushed him away from her, realizing what he was doing with her.

"What?" Seth whined and tried to pull her to him again. Summer wasn't letting him though and crossed her arms over her chest, doing her best to look determined. "You can't stay here any longer, Cohen. You'll be late."

"Okay, then I'll go." Seth said, giving in and realizing that he had to go. "But can I at least get a goodbye from my wife?"

"Cohen, we've been standing here for ten minutes." Summer told him but then softened, walking closer to him. "But, just because I'm so nice I'll say goodbye again." She leaned in closer and let Seth kiss her. She didn't let him do it for long though, knowing that if she did they would be standing in the foyer for another ten minutes if not more.

"That's what I'm talking about." Seth said after an embrace as well. Summer gave him a smile and a light peck on his cheek.

"So, bye then."

"We'll spend some time together when I get home?" Seth asked hopefully as he played with the band of Summer's robe.

"Of course."

"Good. I can't wait." Seth smirked.

"Me neither." Summer said and reached up to give him a final kiss, leaving them both grinning at each other before Seth headed out.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"So, you and Seth are okay now?" Marissa asked as she and Summer sat in a restaurant waiting for the food to arrive.

Summer drew lines on the table and looked dreamingly out through the window where people rushed in all directions; some of them alone, some of them with company.

"Summer?"

The brunette quickly turned her attention to Marissa. "Sorry. You were saying?"

Marissa sighed and smiled at her friend. "I was asking how things are with Seth."

"Oh, they're great."

"That's great. Any details?"

"Well, I'm not mad any more and he's not either. And we've spend the last couple of days just being together and it's been amazing." Summer said and smiled as she remembered.

"I'm glad that you guys have worked things out. In the end you know that you belong together."

"Thanks." Summer blushed knowing that Marissa was right. They really were perfect. Everything was perfect. As she continued her day dreaming the food arrived, something both Summer and Marissa had been waiting for quite a long time now. They were starving.

"This looks so good." Summer said as she grabbed her fork and started to eat. She ate quickly and without speaking until she noticed someone staring at her; Marissa. "What?" Summer asked with food still in her mouth.

Marissa made an apologetically smile and took a sip of her water. Summer was curious though. "What? Do I have something in my face?" she asked and brought a hand to her chin to see if something was there. Nothing was though, a fact that made Summer even more confused and irritated. "Marissa, what is it?" she asked in a higher voice.

"Sum, it was nothing." Marissa answered still drinking her water.

"You sure? Because it felt like you were staring at me."

"I wasn't staring." Marissa reassured Summer.

"Okay. You're sure nothing's wrong?" Summer asked self-conscious.

"I'm sure." the taller woman once again told her friend and they both returned to their food. Summer still a bit uncomfortable wondering if she was just imagining and Marissa being afraid that she had hurt her friend. She couldn't say what she had been thinking though. Summer would take it the wrong way and get hurt.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

As Seth walked into their apartment he found Summer in the living room on the couch, that was turning its back to him. The news was on, a fact that surprised Seth; Summer wasn't interested in news.

"Summer?" he gently asked and walked around the couch. He found her in one of his T-shirts and sweatpants, her eyes red from what he assumed was crying. "Sweetie? What's wrong?" Seth sat down next to her and stroked her cheek, wet from the tears. Summer sniffled a little and met his gaze. She shrugged and he could see tears forming in her eyes again.

"Sum," Seth said again and this time brought her into his arms trying to give her comfort. He hugged her tightly to his chest and kissed the top of her head, wondering what the cause of her crying was.

"Cohen," Summer said with a muffled voice into Seth's shirt. He replied by bringing her into his lap and her face closer to his. As he wiped away the tears with his thumbs he smiled. "You wanna tell me?" he gently asked, lifting her face up with his hand.

Summer shook her head and sniffled some more. "It's stupid."

"It doesn't matter. Tell me." Seth told her, rubbing her back comfortingly. Summer took some deep breaths and spoke. "I'm just in a bad mood." Summer explained and pulled herself together.

"So nothing happened?"

Summer shook her head. "No, I'm okay."

"Good. You got me worried." Seth said and kissed her cheek.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Now, are you hungry?" Summer nodded against his chest and felt much better. She always did when he was around.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"This is so good." Summer said as the two of them sat in the kitchen eating dinner that they had made together.

"It is" Seth agreed and stopped eating for a moment. He watched Summer as she sat in front of him, carefully placing the food on her fork and taking it into her mouth. She had a smile on her face and Seth loved to see her be happy. A smile from Summer was all it took for him to smile as well and get this feeling in his chest; the feeling of something right.

After a few minutes he returned to his food, enjoying eating together with her. To share these everyday things with someone you loved more than anything was just so amazing. To wake up together, brush your teeth side by side, read the morning paper by the same table; it was all those kinds of things that were important in a relationship. To be that intimate and to share everything in life, even the bad things.

This life was great. Being married to Summer was great. She was a perfect wife and she was the woman he wanted. And he was really lucky that he had gotten all that. Seth loved being married.

"You're so quiet. Is everything okay?" Summer suddenly said and raised her head to look at him.

"Everything's great. Perfect even." Seth smiled at her. Summer gave him a look urging him to continue. "I was just thinking. Of you and how great things are. I'm really grateful that I've got you." Seth confessed slightly blushing.

"Aw, I'm grateful I've got you too, baby." Summer replied, smiling brightly. He was being a little cheesy but deep down Summer loved all the things he said to her. And maybe he understood that because he always kept saying them.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Are you finished eating?"

"Yeah." Summer put the plate away as Seth walked round the table to take her hand in his. He walked her to the living room and they sat down on the sofa close together.

They made themselves comfortable and Seth flicked the TV on. Neither of them cared what was on though; they just wanted to sit together. To be this close made them both feel so loved and it could take all the bad things away. It was actually pretty strange how something as simple as being with another person was all that mattered.

Now Seth was back at work again but he had promised to come home earlier and spend more time with Summer. And today he had come home in time for dinner and he had time to just sit here. He didn't yawn and he didn't excuse himself to go to bed. He made her feel important again and even though Summer had known all the time that Seth loved her and that she was important, she needed him to show her that. She needed to feel his love and she needed him to give her all of his attention.

"Cohen?" Seth made a 'hmm' sound and showed her that he was listening. "Do you think that I should get a job? I mean try for something else."

Seth thought about it for a while before he answered. "I think that you should do whatever you want to do. I know that you have this dream and I think that you should go for it, try to make it come true. But if you feel like doing something else you should. I'm behind you to one hundred and ten percent."

Summer smiled and snuggled closer to Seth, kissing his chest as she did so, the place above his heart. "Thanks." As a reply Seth kissed her forehead and brought her closer to him.

After laying there for a while, enjoying just being with each other, Summer spoke quietly. "I have to go to the bathroom." Seth let go of her waist and let her get up. As she'd walked to the bathroom he began to actually watch TV; an old movie was on.

In the bathroom Summer was once again wiping her mouth after having thrown up. It was starting to get on her nerves. She figured that she must have the flu because every time she ate she couldn't seem to keep the food in her stomach. She flushed the toilet and went to the kitchen to get some water.

She hadn't told Seth about how she felt sick so often. She had no idea why but it just didn't feel right to say it, to complain when she knew that it would soon be over.

"Hey," Seth walked into the kitchen and kissed Summer's temple tenderly.

"Hey," she answered him as he started to clean up from dinner. Summer joined him and since she had thrown up the dinner, the hunger was back. She took some cold noodles and dipped them in the cold sauce. It tasted even stronger now when it was cold, a little too strong. Summer drank some water again before continuing to eat.

"Are you hungry again, baby? Shouldn't you at least warm the food?" Seth asked as he placed their plates into the dishwasher.

Summer shook her head and continued to eat. Seth laughed to himself, finding her pretty hilarious as she sat there eating cold noodles dipped in cold sauce like she would starve if she didn't.

As Summer had eaten the most of the noodles she swallowed soundly and didn't feel good at all. "Cohen, I don't feel good."

"Maybe you shouldn't have eaten the food cold." Seth said and continued with the dishes but as he realized that Summer wasn't there any more he stopped and went looking for her.

She was in the bathroom again and as Seth came inside she was again emptying her stomach. "Sum," Seth hurried to her side and gently placed a hand on her shoulder to show her that he was right next to her.

Summer tiredly stood up and drank some water from the sink. Seth flushed the toilet and stood up as well and looked very puzzled. This was definitely not the first time this had happened. Summer met his gaze in the mirror and saw that Seth looked terrified. "Seth, what's wrong?" she asked and placed her hand on his arm. He blinked twice before he spoke.

"Summer, are you pregnant?"

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_Liked it? Or hated it?_

_Let me know your thoughts!_

_Maybe it's obvious but what do you want her answer to be?_

_Please review!_


	10. What if's

_Thank you all for the amazing reviews! _

_I love you all._

_This chapter won't involve a lot of Seth/Summer fluff or anything but hopefully you'll like it anyways._

_A Heart's Desire_

What if's

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"_Summer, are you pregnant?"_

Seth's question left Summer speechless. She wasn't pregnant, or was she? Could she be?

They had decided to wait, not to have children for at least a few more years. They wanted time together just the two of them. They wanted to enjoy that time and have a child when they were ready.

But as she thought about it, it made sense. She wasn't an expert in pregnancies but she had been throwing up _a lot_ and she couldn't remember when her last period was. She'd never had regular periods and therefore she seldom knew exactly when it would come. But it had been a while ago.

Summer met Seth's eyes and saw the fear in them. She figured that she looked pretty much the same because she was terrified. She wasn't ready to have a baby. She hadn't even started thinking of babies, at least not of having one now. She was too young and it was too early.

"Would that be a bad thing?" she finally spoke with a voice uncertain and low. Summer looked pleadingly into Seth's dark eyes, a feeling of disappointment filling her as he didn't say anything. That could only mean one thing; his silence could only mean one thing.

He didn't want to have a baby.

Summer wasn't ready either and she could definitely not deal with this right now. She needed to get out, she needed to think. Without saying another word Summer rushed to the foyer, grabbed her purse and walked out. Seth still stood like frozen in the bathroom but as he heard the front door slam shut he ran there. "Summer!"

She had already disappeared though. Seth sighed and walked back to the sofa and sat down, his head in his hands.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Sandy and Kirsten sat in the living room coach having some tee and talking about the day. It was already dark outside and the house was quiet since only the two of them lived there now; Ryan was living in L.A. and Seth was living a few miles away with Summer.

"This house is so quiet nowadays." Kirsten said looking around. Everything in this house was so neat and it still looked pretty much the same from when the boys had been living at home. Each part of this house had some memory attached to it and therefore she could never even think of moving even though the house was a lot bigger than she and Sandy needed it to be.

"Yeah, it is. It's kind of weird that kids can make a house so living." Sandy agreed and looked at a photograph; Chrismukkah 2006. That had been the best Chrismukkah for them all. It had also been the last one with Ryan and Seth in the house.

"Maybe we should invite them all over soon." Kirsten thought out load. Sandy nodded and was about to say something when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Sandy said and walked towards the door. Kirsten stayed in the sofa but turned her head to see who it was on the door.

As Sandy opened the door someone wrapped two small arms around his waist and sobbed into his chest. "Summer?" he said in surprise though placing his arms around her and letting her cry. He looked pleadingly at Kirsten, who rose to help him.

"Sweetie, what's wrong? Has something happened with Seth?" she tried as Sandy still had their son's wife attached to him. Summer didn't reply, she just kept crying digging her head into Sandy's shirt.

"Sandy, let's go to sit down." Kirsten helped her husband to walk a devastated Summer to the sofa where they sat her down in between them both. Summer wiped her eyes and pulled herself together.

"Summer, tell us what happened." Kirsten said and stroked Summer's hair back, trying her best to calm her daughter in law down.

"Seth asked me if I'm pregnant." Summer carefully started. "And I asked him if that would be so bad. He didn't answer." Summer said, not crying anymore.

The only thing she was feeling was sadness. What if she was pregnant and Seth didn't want to have a baby? She couldn't have an abortion; she could never kill her baby. But she loved Seth so much and she wanted to be with him and what if her having a baby would change that. Maybe he wouldn't want to be with her anymore.

"Are you pregnant Summer?" Sandy suddenly asked as they'd all been quiet for a while.

"I don't know." Summer whispered. "Maybe. Can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course, sweetie. Though maybe we should call Seth and let him know that you're okay. He doesn't know where you are, does he?"

"No."

"I'll let him know that you're here then." Sandy said and Summer nodded thankfully. As much as she didn't want to talk to Seth at the moment, she at least wanted him to not worry about her. Because she knew that he would; he always worried about her.

"Come on, Summer. We'll make bed in the guest room for you." Kirsten started to lead Summer towards the stairs while Sandy dialled Seth's number.

"Seth? It's me." Sandy said as soon as Seth picked the phone up.

"Dad?"

"Yes. How are you, son?" Sandy started. He decided to take things easy. He couldn't just say 'Hey son, just wanted to let you know that your devastated wife's here.' No, that would not work.

Sandy heard Seth sigh and he figured that he just sat down; he always did that when something was wrong. Sighing and sinking into the cushions. "To tell you the truth dad, not so well."

"No?"

"Summer just had some news. She left and I don't know where."

"She's here, Seth. She came here a few minutes ago."

"She's at your house." Seth stated, sounding relieved. "Is she alright?"

"Yeah, just a little upset. She told us what happened."

"Yeah? God, dad. I don't know what to do."

"It'll be okay, son. Now tell me what happened. Through your perspective."

Sandy could hear Seth preparing for an explanation. "She was throwing up and it was not the first time this week and I asked her if she's pregnant. I mean, as much as I don't know anything about pregnancies she's been showing a lot of what you'd call symptoms." Seth said while Sandy listened carefully.

"What did she say?"

"Nothing! She must have seen that I was totally surprised so she asked if that would be something bad and then she just ran out. She's pregnant, dad. Otherwise she would have told me that she isn't and she would still be here. Did she say anything to you?"

"Seth, it's not my right to tell you what she's said to us. Summer should be the one telling you, whatever it is. She's staying here tonight, though."

"What if she actually is pregnant." Seth said out load and Sandy knew that what was going on in his son's head was a lot. "But she can't be. We use birth control. She's not pregnant." Seth said the last part with a smile on his lips. God, he was so relieved.

"Seth, I think that you should sleep on it. You can talk to Summer in the morning, okay?" Sandy quickly said. He didn't wanna hear that his son was relieved. What if Summer was pregnant and Seth didn't want to have a baby? He couldn't listen to it anymore; he didn't want to and he was positive that something was soon going to come out of his mouth. Something about what Summer had said or about how birth control wasn't always one hundred percent safe.

"You don't think that she wants to talk to me?"

"No, I think that she's tired and both of you need some sleep."

"Okay, but if she's still awake, could you tell her that I love her and I'll call her tomorrow?"

"Sure, Seth. I'll tell her that."

"Bye then."

"Bye." Sandy sighed and made his way upstairs to do what he'd promised Seth. He couldn't understand why Seth didn't want a baby. He was old enough and he sure had the money. And he and Summer wasn't gonna divorce any time soon.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Thank God." Seth said out load as he put the phone on the table. He was so relieved.

Sure, he wanted kids one day and he was positive that he wanted Summer to be the mother, but now was not the right time at all. They'd only been married for about a year. They needed more time together.

Summer and he were going to spend the rest of their lives together and they had plenty of time for children later. Seth had never been someone believing that getting kids after thirty was weird. It wasn't weird at all; it was the perfect age of getting a baby. At thirty you had lived a little and you'd been selfish and you'd got yourself a lot of experience.

At thirty you were emotionally and financially ready to have a child. Not at twenty-five.

With that thought in mind and being sure that his wife wasn't pregnant he walked to the bedroom and lay down. He wondered what Summer was doing at the same moment; maybe she was laying like this too and thinking of him.

Seth couldn't help but wonder why she'd got so upset if she wasn't pregnant. Maybe she thought that he didn't want to have kids with her. But he did; he wanted to have a family with her more than anything. He would tell her that. He would tell her about the dream he had about first having a mini Summer and then have a mini Seth. Their kids would be really cute.

As Seth thought more closely of Summer's reaction, he also wondered what was wrong with her. If she wasn't pregnant why was she acting as if she was? Maybe something was seriously wrong with her; maybe she was sick.

That thought scared Seth. She had to be alright. It was just the flu or something, right? It wasn't anything dangerous; it couldn't be.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer lay tucked in, the sheets tightly wrapped around her small body, in the guest room. Kirsten had made sure that she had everything she needed.

She couldn't sleep though; no matter how nice the bed was and no matter how comfortable she felt. Summer had always thought that the Cohen house was so homey and se always felt so safe in it. Kirsten and Sandy were those kinds of people that were always so easy to be around and they always made Summer feel welcome. She loved them very much.

Summer placed her hands on the sheet over her stomach. What if she was pregnant? What if there was a life in there? It didn't feel like it was, everything felt normal. It didn't look like it either. Her belly looked like it always did. She couldn't be pregnant. When would that had happened? She always used birth control, always.

She thought about how Seth had looked like in the bathroom; he had looked terrified. He didn't want her to be pregnant; he wanted to wait. Summer wanted that too, at least a little longer. And she would never trap Seth and skip the birth control. She wanted to have a baby whenever he was ready. It was as much his decision as hers. Just because she was the woman and she had the power to control it all she wouldn't do anything without his agreement.

A child was a big deal, a huge deal. It was a life and to take responsible for another person might just be the scariest and most hard thing to do. You had to be ready and Summer wasn't ready yet and she knew that Seth wasn't either. She knew that he wanted to wait; she knew that he wanted to wait until they were around thirty. Summer didn't really want to wait that long, but she figured that around thirty could mean twenty-eight or twenty-nine. But she was positive that around thirty wasn't the same thing as twenty-five.

She knew that she would have to wait for a coupled of years until she could have a baby Cohen in her arms. A perfect baby Cohen.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_So, that was chapter ten._ _What did you guys think?_

_I know that some of you don't want Summer to be pregnant and that wasn't really my intention when I first started to write this story. But read on and find out what happens. I hope that you're not too disappointed._

_Suggestions are always welcome as you all know. I could also use some help with 'When you say nothing at all' and 'Life Continues'. I'm grateful for all suggestions._

_I know that it's way too early for baby names but I would like suggestions. I like names so it would be fun to know what you think. Also, I would like to know if you guys want to see them actually have the baby or if you want to see more of the pregnancy. Maybe you don't want her to be pregnant at all, lose the baby or something? _

_Tell me your thoughts!_

_Please review!_


	11. Maybe I was wrong, and maybe we can fix

_Sorry for the lack of updates! _

_I am, together with a lot of you I assume, pretty busy with school right now._

_Enjoy the chapter!_

_A Heart's Desire_

Maybe I was wrong, and maybe we can fix this

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Hello!" Seth called as he went inside of what had once been his house. He had never bothered to use the doorbell since it just felt strange. Even though Seth didn't live there any more and hadn't for several years, the house was still his home and would always be.

After not hearing any reply he made his way over to the kitchen where the folks always used to be, almost in a speed of running. He'd been awake since five since and had been waiting to come here for several hours.

"Ow!" Summer yelled as someone collided with her. She'd gotten a bony shoulder into her nose and it hurt, it really hurt.

Seth caressed his shoulder and made sure if wasn't hurt before he saw that what he had run into wasn't a wall or something. It was Summer.

Noticing Summer's pain as she covered her face in her hands and cursed, Seth panicked. "I'm so sorry. Where does it hurt?" He tried to see her face though she kept her hands covering it.

"Watch where you're going, Cohen!" Summer yelled and finally replaced her hands, still holding her nose though which was bleeding heavily.

"Oh, my God!" Seth said to himself and quickly gave her a tissue. He then watered another one and tried to hold it against her nose although she pushed his hands away. Seth sighed but feeling the responsible of taking care of her, he led her to a chair. "Summer, you should sit down. Hold you head back a little."

Summer did as she was told. She had to because it was hurting and bleeding and she just wanted it to stop. She let him lead her to the chair and take care of her hurting nose. After some time of Seth's nursing it stopped bleeding and the pain slightly started to go away. Summer was about to get up from the chair and continue with what she had been doing before her blockhead to husband had ran into her, though Seth pulled her into the chair again.

"What are you doing?" Summer asked, obviously mad at him.

Seth tried to be as calm as possible as he held the used tissues in his hands. "You shouldn't move. It can start bleeding again." Summer just glared at him. As she didn't move nor say anything and Seth realised that she wasn't going to he said what he'd wanted to since she left the night before. "Sum, you're not pregnant, are you? I mean you can't be. We use birth control, right?"

"Of course we do." Summer snapped, stubbornly remaining in the chair with her arms crossed over her chest.

Seth nervously uttered the next words, not wanting Summer to see how relieved he really was having it confirmed. "Then you're not pregnant." his lips forming a tiny smile but Summer still saw it.

"Well, that's good. Are you happy now?" Summer said a little nonchalantly. Seth could see that she was upset but he was still confused on why.

"What do you mean?"

Summer sighed and spoke slowly. "Aren't you relieved?"

Seth thought for a moment before he answered. "Well, yeah. We're not ready to have a baby yet."

"I guess." Summer said quietly, looking down. Seth noticed the sudden sadness and instantly got worried.

"Is there something you're not telling me, Sum?"

"What would that be?"

"I don't know. I'm asking you." Seth said, a little gentler.

As her eyes started to gleam Seth definitely knew that there was something. "Maybe there is."

Seth sat further out on his chair so that he was closer to her and reached for her hand. He saw that there was something she was keeping to herself and to judge by her behaviour and the fact that he knew her so well; she didn't want to keep it to herself. She needed to get it off of her chest. "You can tell me."

"Tell you what? You'll just freak out even more."

Stroking her hand that she had not yet pulled away from him, he tried to be as gentle as he possible could. He didn't want to fight anymore. They'd done that too much lately. "Summer, of course I freaked out. I thought that you were pregnant." he carefully told her.

"Well, don't you think that I freaked out too? My husband was terrified when he thought that I was pregnant." Seth opened his mouth to protest but as he realised that it was true and that she probably needed to yell at him, he closed it again and let her continue. "Do you even know how that feels? You don't want to have a baby with me. What would you have done if I told you that I was? Huh? Would you have left? You wouldn't even have cared." Summer continued her outburst and Seth sat astonished trying to figure out what she was saying. "Do you know how scary it is to think that you have something inside of you and know that your husband doesn't want you any more?" Summer yelled and her eyes brimmed with tears. She wasn't crying though, she couldn't bear to let herself cry in front of him.

As Seth was about to open his mouth she abruptly stood up and started to walk away. Before though she turned around and said: "Just so you know, I might be." she paused and took a deep breath. "Pregnant."

She then disappeared, leaving Seth in the kitchen.

What had just happened? Had she yelled at him and accused him for not wanting her if she was pregnant? For not caring about her? That was bullshit. Seth had never in his life heard something as stupid. It was true that he had panicked about her being pregnant and he didn't really want her to be at the moment. But if she was he would never, ever leave. He would stay.

He loved her to death and he couldn't believe that she didn't know that. At this point she had to know that he always, always wanted to be with her and that was all that mattered.

Seth gasped as he remembered what she'd said just before she walked out of the kitchen. _She might be pregnant. She might be pregnant. Summer might be pregnant! _

"Oh, my God." Seth said out load as he realised what a jerk he'd been. He'd practically told her that he didn't want a baby and she might already be pregnant. He never seemed to do the right things when it really counted. He was Seth Cohen, the master of making mistakes.

"Seth, you're here already. We were hoping that we would be back before you came. Sandy and I have been at the store." Kirsten said and interrupted Seth with his thinking as she walked into the kitchen with two bags full of groceries.

"I can see that, mom." he said while starting to help her with the groceries.

"What's wrong?" Kirsten asked as she could sense her son's sadness. And he was quiet, too quiet. "Oh, have you talked to Summer?"

Seth sighed and answered with lack of enthusiasm. "Yeah,"

"It didn't go very well, did it?" Kirsten smiled sadly, showing her sympathy. It always hurt to see her son's marriage rocky. She had never doubted that Summer and Seth would work it out though because she knew that if two people loved each other they could make it work, whatever the problem was.

This wasn't just a small thing. It might be a baby involved and even if it wasn't, Seth and Summer had to talk about this baby issue.

"Where is she?"

"I think she went upstairs. She's probably in bed, crying." Seth told his mother with an obvious pain in his voice. "I'm an asshole."

"I'm sorry, honey. Maybe she just needs some more time."

"Maybe. Do you think that she is?"

"Pregnant? I don't know. It's possible Seth and when a woman is pregnant she's very emotional. You can't-"

"I know. But I didn't know and now I do realise that I should have acted differently. I practically told her that I don't want a baby, mom. Could I do more wrong?"

"Oh, Seth. You didn't mean it, did you?"

"I don't know. I want one eventually. But if she is pregnant I wouldn't leave her."

"I know and she does too."

"No, she doesn't! She just yelled at me and accused for not caring and not wanting her anymore."

"Oh, no. She's wrong. Right?"

"Yes! Of course she's wrong. How can you even think-"

"Seth, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure. I know how much you love her."

"Good." Seth said and moved to the refrigerator.

"What are you doing?" Kirsten asked as Seth pulled out a bunch of stuff that they'd just put in there.

"I'm making breakfast. For Summer." Seth said while he prepared a brick with lots of stuff on it. "She was about to eat breakfast when I got her nosebleed."

"What! You got her nosebleed?"

"Yeah,"

"You didn't punch her, did you?" Kirsten asked in disbelief. Seth had never been the violent one.

"No. It was an accident. Can you give me a cup?"

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth slowly emerged outside the guestroom, carrying the brick in his hands. As he was about to knock he realised that he wasn't going to be able to hold the brick and knock at the same time so he awkwardly pushed the door with his elbow as he balanced the brick.

He heard a 'come in' and managed to open the door without dropping the brick with food. Summer sat on the bed with her legs close to her body just looking vulnerable. She didn't look angry, only sad.

"Hi," she quietly said and managed to give her husband a smile.

Seth placed the brick of food next to her on the bed and carefully sat down as well. "Hi. I made you breakfast since it's sort of my fault that you went up here hungry." Seth said in a hurry, being so nervous and so anxious to fix what he'd done.

"Thanks," Summer said, not being able to hold that smile. He looked so adorable and she was really hungry. He'd got her all her favourites.

As Seth watched her start to eat he couldn't help but smile either. She was still in a gown and she had no make up. Yet she looked so beautiful. He wanted to be with her always and always.

Inhaling deeply, as to prepare himself for his second effort to try to make it up to her, he began to speak. "Summer, I'm sorry for being such a jerk." Seth began a little uncertain, not wanting to upset her all over again. "Those things you said? Do you really believe that?"

"Seth," Summer started in a apologetically voice but was quickly interrupted.

"You don't have to answer that. Just know that I want to have a baby with you. I really do. I have this whole picture in my head of us having a family. Believe me, there's nothing I want as much as a family with you Summer. I want to be with you forever." Seth finished, hoping that she had actually heard the things he'd just said. He'd spoken in a pretty fast speed but Summer was used to his rambling and his nervousness.

"Cohen," Summer said in awe. "I was so scared that you didn't want to-" she started but burst into tears before ending the sentense. Seth naturally took her in his arms and held her tightly against him as she cried.

He stroked her hair and felt her tears soak his shirt. "I love you so much, Summer. And I won't leave you, not ever."

Still sniffling, Summer lifted her head from the spot she'd been burying it in Seth's chest and looked up at him. "I love you." She then lay down again, placing her hands on his chest and kissing the middle of it. "And I'm sorry." she whispered.

Seth was about to pull her up and talk some sense into her. She had done nothing wrong. He was the one having screwed up. But not wanting to let her go, he resisted. He kept a tight hold of her and kissed her hair before saying in a low voice "Sum, I'm the one who's sorry. You've done nothing wrong. Okay?"

Summer smiled and loved to feel all relaxed as she laid leaning onto him with his arms round her.

"What if I am pregnant, Seth?"

"Then we'll deal with it. Together."

Seth had probably no idea of how much that last word actually meant to her. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Everything would be okay because they would make it okay together. "I love you." Summer whispered into his chest and closed her eyes.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_I had a hard time writing this chapter but it might have been my lack of inspiration lately. I also, didn't want Seth to always appear as the bad guy in their relationship._

_Thank you all for the support! It's the reason I posted this. I feel like I have to give you updates because you're that amazing._

_Please review and I'll hopefully be able to update sooner!_


	12. A confirmation and a happy face

_A Heart's Desire _

A confirmation and a happy face 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

At some point in life you feel like you can't get any happier. Like your wedding day or when you get a promotion at work. At those times you feel like you can't possibly need anything else, you feel like you have it all.

Then there are the times when you feel like everything is wrong and you need a bunch of stuff. There are times when you pity yourself and when you just want to cry.

The passed week Summer had been travelling between them a lot. There had been times when she felt so lucky and so blessed. But there had also been times when she felt like she had everything against her.

Seth had also been thrown between happy and miserable the passed week. Most of them required around Summer and how she was feeling. It was as if his feelings were attached to hers in some way. If Summer was happy, he was happy. And if she wasn't, he wasn't either.

The feelings and the thoughts that were flowing in both of them at this moment were divided. Parts were happy, excited and hopeful. Others were scared, doubtful and sceptical.

They hadn't spoken a lot; they hadn't the courage and the ability to. Maybe they were afraid what the other one would think or what the other one was feeling. Maybe they were feeling the same things and maybe they weren't.

It was strange how one tiny thing could put people in this situation. It was strange how one petite thing could make people so emotional and so quiet.

But maybe words didn't have to be uttered. Maybe words didn't belong on this day. Maybe the support by two hands being intertwined was enough.

Seth felt Summer squeeze his hand tighter and he wonder if she was as scared as he was. He wondered if she wanted him to say something or do something. With the difficulty to decide what to do, he just gently caressed her hand with his thumb.

"Summer Cohen?"

Someone finally called out her name and they both rose from the grey couch they had been sharing. They looked around and saw that no one cared to notice them. Everyone in the room was occupied with either staring at the floor or reading a magazine. No one looked up to see them fallow the woman who had called Summer's name and leave the room. No one bothered to lift their eyes.

They were lead into a room and Summer was ordered to give an urine test and the whole time they were in that room everything seemed to just happen. Summer wasn't thinking, her body just did what she was told while Seth quietly sat in a chair.

It all happened so fast. They probably stayed in there for a while but it felt like five seconds. It wasn't like they had expected it to be; it wasn't long and boring.

It had just been so strange. The only thing they both remembered seemed to be a thing the doctor had told them with a smile on her face. _"You are indeed pregnant, Mrs. Cohen. Congratulations to you both! You're gonna be parents soon." _

Summer was nine weeks pregnant.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The moment they sat in the car Summer burst into tears. She had been holding in all her fears and hopes for such a long time that she just couldn't anymore. She was pregnant and now it wasn't a maybe. She really was pregnant.

Seth was about to start the engine when his wife began to weep. He tried to calm her down by placing his hand on her shoulder but she only started to cry more as he did so. Awkwardly leaning over to her side of the car he held her head against him and hoped that she would calm down by it. After a while she did and pulled away, embarrassed.

"Sorry. I don't know what came over me," she said and wiped her eyes and forced a smile to her lips.

Seth cupped her chin and stared directly into her gaze. "Hey, don't worry about it. You're pregnant." He said the last words in a calm voice and a smile spread on his face.

"I really am pregnant." As she uttered those words and saw the look on her husband's face it was impossible not to smile. It was a real smile, the kind of smile that you couldn't remove. Not that Summer wanted to. She was actually happy and Seth was too.

"You really are." he laughed and kissed her, both of them still smiling.

"I'm so happy right now!" Summer exclaimed joyfully. There had been a tension between the two of them all day, or at least they hadn't been talking very much. Now though, everything was back to normal.

Seth placed his lips on her forehead in a gentle peck and tucked some hair behind Summer's ear. "Me too, Sum."

"Really?" she asked a little uncertain, but hopeful.

"Yes. I mean, you're having a baby."

"Our baby." Summer added, grinning at her husband. She couldn't express all the joy she was feeling with a smile. She was so glad that he was okay; that he was happy. The past days she'd been so afraid that he didn't want to have a baby and a part of her had wished that she wasn't pregnant.

Now though, she was sincerely happy that she was. She was twenty five years old and she was married. Who cared about a stupid career that didn't even exist?

"Our baby." Seth repeated and brought Summer back to reality.

"Yeah," Summer said and embraced Seth.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"So, Cohen. Can you tell me about that dream of yours?" Summer asked later as they were snuggling together in a chair on their balcony.

Seth nodded and as he combed her hair with his fingers, a thing he did a lot. It wasn't something he decided to do, it just came naturally and they both loved it. Summer loved to have someone playing with her hair, what women didn't? And she especially loved it when it was Seth's fingers sending shivers down her spine. "You mean the one with us having a family?"

Summer whispered a 'yes' although she knew that she didn't have to answer. He knew what she meant.

Seth cleared his throat slightly and gave Summer's ear a light kiss before speaking. "Well, since I was just a kid I've wanted to spend my life together with you. That's no secret. But as we started to get serious and especially when I proposed and when we married I have thought about our future a lot." Seth paused and looked down at Summer, to see if she was listening. Summer looked as comfortable a person could be and she was definitely listening so Seth continued.

"I've always known that I want you to be the mother of my children and…and I always dreamt of having a little girl first. A little girl you'll dress in pink clothes and she'll look just like you. She'll be daddy's little girl though and once she's maybe two or three you'll have a boy. He'll have my curly hair and your eyes and your cute cheeks." He made a gesture to her face, gently caressing her cheek that was hard since she was smiling brightly. "I always knew that we would do perfect, that our kids would be beautiful."

"Cohen," Summer said in that 'could you be more adorable' voice. Seth ignored her and brought his hands down to Summer's tummy. "This one will be, too. She's gonna be perfect, just like you."

"She?"

"I told you we were having a girl first."

"But you can't know that. What if it's a boy? Then he'll be upset because his daddy thought that he was a girl." Summer explained as she drew lines on top of Seth's hands, still resting on her stomach. "Cohen?" she asked as he didn't reply.

"Oh, right. But I do know that it's a girl."

"Okay then. But it'll be your own fault when your kid's gonna be all upset. Shouldn't you of all people know that a boy doesn't wanna be called a girl? I mean, Cohen, if you're gonna be a dad-" Seth brought his hand up to her mouth to stop her from continuing.

"You're starting to sound like me, Sum." he said as he let go of her mouth and his hand returned to rest on top of her stomach.

"I'll blame that on you and the hormones, Cohen."

Seth laughed a little. "You do that."

"You know, now that I'm pregnant you have to do everything I say."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. The baby might be inside of me but it's as much yours at it is mine so you just have to always be by my side and please me."

"I don't think that will be a problem, honey."

"Me either."

"Nope. So, do you want anything?"

"Just to stay here. We should sleep out here tonight. It's so beautiful."

"That would be awesome Sum, but you'll get a cold and we don't want that."

"I guess you're right."

"I am."

"But can we stay for a little longer."

"Sure."

"Don't let me fall asleep, baby." Summer yawned and a minute or two later she was slumbering quietly in Seth's lap.

Afraid that she may actually get a cold Seth scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the warm house.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The next day Summer and Marissa was shopping again. It was a ritual they had created; to go shopping on the weekdays. They both had time to do that; Summer not really having a work and Marissa having very few working hours since she didn't have to work either. She came from a wealthy family and so did her boyfriend William. They had been together now for several years and sometimes Summer wondered why they didn't marry.

William and Marissa were just perfect for each other. But every time Summer brought up the subject Marissa always said that they would when they were ready; when the time was right. Maybe they weren't the marrying kind of people but Summer figured that if she and Seth were then Marissa and William were.

"You seem so happy today, Summer. Has something happened?" Marissa asked as she had been studying her best friend for some time.

"I am happy. Can you really see that? Am I still smiling?" Summer said, giggling.

"Yeah, you are. So, what is it? Did you and Seth have a great time this morning or what?" They both new what a 'great time' meant and even though Summer knew that she had had a 'great time' this morning, she also knew that her happiness didn't just include that.

"I have some news," she started a little secretive.

"Yeees." Marissa said, urging Summer to continue.

"I'm pregnant!" Summer exclaimed and Marissa immediately flung her arms around her friend's neck.

"Really? That is so great, Summer. I'm so happy for you." Marissa said in their embrace. She had suspected something, seeing the mood and behaviour in Summer change during the passed weeks. But she was sincerely happy. She was going to be an aunt. Or not a real aunt but she and Summer had always been like sisters so she definitely would call herself an aunt.

As they released from their tight hug they both wiped a few tears from their eyes. This was something they'd both dreamt of since they were little kids. One of them was pregnant.

"How far along are you?"

"Nine weeks."

"Gosh, nine weeks. What do you think it is; a boy or a girl?"

"I don't know but Seth keeps telling me how he knows that it's a girl."

"A girl, that is so adorable. We could go look for baby clothes right now." Marissa suggested, being excited as a little girl. The baby wasn't gonna be hers but she was definitely going to be a part of this child's life.

"Really?"

"Of course."

"I have dreamt of baby shopping for my whole life."

"I know. Me too." Marissa said and Summer did a weird little jump fallowed by a shriek.

"I'm so excited!"

"I know." Marissa said and laughed, fully understanding that her friend was. "So tell me, how's Seth handling all this? I be he's already painting the nursery and preparing which comic to read for the baby."

"I actually think that he is."

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_I want to give a huge thanks to all my reviewers: Only, ososxcseth, SR4SC, kursk, Emily, Em, Ella, lbeachx33, 1naomi, Jaded-Amava, nefftys, seancuthbertca, Jen, Cill, purplesha, Mel, psparkle7189, skagirl, Chris2035, kalexgurl, theocroxxx, ItalHunni28, Maria, Ansy Pansy aka Panz, hanselel, Jdancer189, Michelle, none, yay, fastforwarddd and bexy._

_A special thanks to Coheny for having reviewed every chapter so far! I hope you'll continue to do so._

_If I get good responses I'm gonna update this week again. So, please review!_


	13. We live a life of perfection

_A Heart's Desire_

We live a life of perfection

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"Sweetie, can you get me my purse? It's in the bedroom." Summer called from where she was standing in the foyer, looking at herself in the mirror. She looked pretty good; a light green top and brown pants. She looked relaxed but still respectable enough. Not that she needed to look great - they were only going to Seth's parents' house – but Summer kind of wanted to look nice.

Kirsten and Sandy had already been told the news since they had known that there was a possibility that Summer was pregnant. Summer had, after she had told Marissa, wanted to call them immediately and Seth just couldn't say no. And even though Summer was the one jumping around and saying how much she loved him and how happy she was every other minute, Seth was just as excited.

He had once the doctor told them the news completely lost all his anxiousness and fear. He had for such a long time believed that he wanted a child after thirty; he had never thought of getting a baby as rushing. When he realised that Summer might be pregnant and when he'd realised that she needed him he had hidden those feelings but he had still had them.

But the moment the doctor confirmed that they were going to have a baby everything about those feelings had just vanished. Now he felt nothing but happiness about Summer's pregnancy. Because when you thought about it, they were ready. They had all the money a child could possibly need so money or careers weren't an issue. Seth knew that he would still be working because he couldn't just quit. But now, nothing was the same; he didn't feel the same need to earn money.

For some strange reason Seth had always worked hard to get much money; partly because he felt good about it. And the reason of why he felt good about it was that if he had the money he could give Summer whatever she wanted; he could give her anything. Summer had always been rich and she had always been a little spoiled and because Seth knew that Summer wasn't going to earn much money if she committed herself to her dream he wanted to be able to give her the support to just go for it. He didn't want her to worry about money and she had never had to.

So here they were, expecting a baby. No one of them had thought that just two years after their wedding they would be parents. To every other couple that might seem normal and two years for themselves would be enough but this was just something that Seth and Summer never had thought. They had both been prepared to wait.

"Did you mean this one, Sum?" Seth walked up to Summer as she was zipping her jacket and held up a brown purse.

"Yes, that's the one. Thanks!" Summer said and gave him a quick peck on his lips. It was funny how lost and adorable a man looked with a woman's purse.

Seth, grinning slightly, placed his hands on his wife's shoulders and stood behind her, their reflection looking nothing but perfect. He was about a head taller than she was and with their brown hair and brown eyes they just matched in a way that nothing else could. As their gazes met in the mirror they both smiled and Seth placed a light kiss on top of her perfect head.

"You ready?" Summer nodded and grabbed his hand. "Let's go then."

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Driving to the Cohens took forever it seemed. The traffic was a nightmare and Summer, having to pee, was a nightmare to sit next to. Seth swore that it didn't exist anyone on the entire planet who was better at complaining than his wife. The entire time she was telling him all about how much she needed to go and every time they had to stop in the traffic jam she would have an outbreak at all the cars not moving.

Now they were finally there and Seth was greeting his parents while Summer already had run to the bathroom.

"So, where's Ryan?" Seth asked as the three of them moved to sit in the living room. He didn't need to get that question answer though because the doorbell rang and Ryan walked in.

"Ryan!" Kirsten exclaimed and jumped up from the sofa to hug him. They didn't see Ryan very often, or at least not as often as they saw Seth.

"Hi, Kirsten." Ryan said inside of her tight hug. Seth met his eyes and walked over to his mother and brother together with Sandy.

After Kirsten let go of her son Seth gave Ryan one of his 'man hugs'. A man hug did pretty much include a stiff hug and a few hard pats on the back. "It's good to see you, man."

"You, too." At that moment Summer came back from the bathroom. She smiled brightly when she saw Ryan, not having seen him in a while.

While waiting for Sandy to greet the man he once took home from work Summer walked to stand beside her husband. To be alone together with the four of them always gave Summer a special feeling; a feeling she couldn't explain. They were the Cohens and even though Ryan technically was an Atwood and she was a Cohen they were a family, a family that she was a member of because she had married one of them.

Summer felt very welcome in this family and in this house. She'd always felt welcome and she now included herself in this family. But the four of them would always be something special, and not in a bad way. Summer loved the fact that they were still close and stuck together. The family she came from wasn't like that.

"Summer," Ryan now turned to Summer and she immediately flung her arms round his neck.

"Ryan, it's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Summer."

After Summer and Ryan let go of each other the five of them, with smiles on their faces, remained standing just a little from the front door. That was until Kirsten excused herself to continue with the dinner. "So, I should get back to the kitchen but you can just take a seat in the living room and catch up."

"No, we'll come to. I can help you." Summer said and hurried after Kirsten leaving the three men standing left behind in the foyer.

"Hey, we should just-" Seth started, breaking the silence, and made a gesture to the kitchen.

"Yeah." Ryan and Sandy agreed and they walked towards the kitchen.

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"So, everything is good?" Ryan asked later as they all sat in the living room having had a nice dinner.

"Yeah, everything's great." Seth said and they all nodded in reply. After getting a look from Summer Seth continued. "Actually, we have some news Ryan."

Ryan looked at everybody, knowing by their silence that everyone except he knew what this was about. "News, huh?"

Seth, feeling that it was his turn to tell, cleared his throat and prepared to tell his brother the great news. "Yes. Summer…Me and Summer…you see, we're…well, Summer and-"

"Cohen! Get to the point." Summer interrupted Seth, who was rambling and getting everyone annoyed.

"Right, so Summer is actually - and you're not going to believe this but it's true and she's-"

"I'm pregnant, Ryan!" Summer exclaimed happily, not being able to wait any longer. It was just so much fun to tell everybody. And she had given Seth a chance to.

Seth wasn't too disappointed though. It didn't really matter who told Ryan and the look on Summer's face made not getting to tell him worth it. She was so excited. "That's what I was gonna say. Eventually."

"You are? That's great." Ryan said, seeming to be surprised. Seth had told him about his 'plans' when it came to babies.

"I know!" Summer smiled and quickly took Seth's arm, wrapping her own round it.

"You don't really look though…you know pregnant. Not that I'm an expert or anything."

"Well, I'm only nine weeks pregnant so you can't see it or anything." she explained and Kirsten agreed with a nod.

"Oh," Ryan said and looked over at Seth who made a face saying that he should let her talk.

"Yeah, and I haven't gain any weight either. On the contrary I've lost weight actually." Seth placed his hand on Summer's head and brought her closer to his body where they sat in the sofa.

"You can do that?" Sandy asked, joining the conversation and getting a glare from his wife.

"Sure. I just happen to have a lot, and then I mean _a lot,_ of not so funny morning sickness. I can hardly keep anything down."

"Okay."

"Summer, that might be to over share a little bit." Seth told her while smiling.

"But it's natural."

Summer looked confused so Seth explained to her. "I know but you know guys aren't as interested in pregnancies as women. And Ryan's a man."

"I know he is. But you're interested though."

"Well, of course I am. It's my baby."

"I know. Isn't that great, Ryan. I mean, me and Cohen are having a baby." Summer exclaimed again, never getting tired of saying those words.

"It's great. Congratulations!"

"Thanks Ryan. And you know that you're gonna be the baby's uncle."

"That's pretty cool."

"I know. You've never been an uncle before, right?"

"No, I haven't."

"This baby is the first one in the family. Well, since Seth anyway." Kirsten said and smiled at Seth.

Summer turned her head to look at her husband and spoke in a childish voice. "And you're not a baby anymore, are you?"

"No, I'm not." Seth replied as they kept being cute with each other.

"So, Seth. How's work going?" Ryan said and interrupted the twosome.

"Oh, it's alright." Seth told Ryan shortly as he felt Summer tense a little in his arms. He placed a comforting kiss on her temple as they started talking about Ryan's work instead.

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"It was great to see Ryan again." Summer said as she and Seth stumbled into their apartment late that night. They had stayed for hours and were now exhausted. They had seriously thought of staying over but decided to spend time with Ryan the next day and sleep at home.

"Yeah, it was." Seth said yawning. "Let's get to bed immediately." Summer agreed and without caring about anything else than getting to that bed they slowly walked towards their bedroom.

"I'm so tired." Summer said and fell down on the bed, not caring to pull the sheet away. She wrapped her arms round one of the decoration pillows and closed her eyes.

"Honey, aren't you gonna undress?" Seth asked as he sat down next to her.

"No, I'm too tired." Summer said with a muffled voice since she had her head inside of the pillow. Seth quickly threw his clothes off and started to help Summer with hers. He would not let her sleep in her clothes; he knew that she hated that.

"It's gonna be very uncomfortable if you don't take these off." he said but she didn't seem to care so he lifted her body up into a sitting position.

"Seeeth," Summer wined and lowered her head.

"Come on, I'm helping you." Seth said and helped her put on a shirt.

Summer sank back down to the bed once the shirt was properly on making a 'mmm' sound as her head touched the pillow, happy to finally be allowed to sleep. Seth fallowed her example and lay down next to her. "Night, Summer. I love you."

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_I really wanted to give you guys an update so I wrote this chapter really quickly. Therefore it might not be the best, but at least I updated as I promised. I'm also gonna move this week so I'm pretty busy._

_I wanted to ask you if you want to see more of Ryan. I thought of jumping ahead a few days or weeks but I haven't really decided yet. I would really like your oppinion. _

_Thanks again all of you for reviewing. I hope you'll leave me a quick (it doesn't necessarily have to be quick because I love the long reviews from you guys) review to this chapter as well._

_Please review! (you know you want to)_


	14. The surprise party : part one

_Thank you all for the reviews! I want to thank Logan (parks586). It's so fun to hear from a new reader. I definitely hope that you'll continue to read and review! _

_I got a question about Seth's work and what he's actually doing. See, I don't really want to reveal what he's doing. He's kind of like Chandler in 'Friends'. _

_This chapter will is devided into two parts. Here's the first one. With good responses I'll update within a few days. _

_A Heart's Desire_

**The surprise party : part one**

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Three weeks quickly passed and suddenly it was February and Seth's 26th birthday. Seth had no 'fear' of getting older; he saw the age as something positive where you could grow as a person. And 26 was definitely not old. It was the 'perfect age', but Seth said that all the time; every birthday the new number sounded better. So, now 26 was obviously better than 25.

It was also now ten years ago that he had been allowed into Summer's life. He had gotten to know an on the outside bitchy brunette; a dream he'd had for years. Seth had been an awkward 16 years old geek and Summer had been this confident queen. They had been as different as two people could get but somehow it had worked. They had matched.

They completed each other and being so different was the reason of why they were so good together. It was also the reason of why they were fighting constantly. The two of them fought about everything and nothing but it was the fighting that brought them closer toward each other.

Since then everything had changed. During these ten years so much had altered; mostly for the better. The journey through the ten years was something that Seth never would forget though. It had been happy times and not so happy times but in its own way it had been perfect and Seth wouldn't want to change anything.

Turning 26 was absolutely not a bad thing and being married to the girl of his dreams and having a baby on its way certainly didn't make it any worse. Seth was hopeful and looked forward of changing that last number to six.

During the past week Summer had been busy planning Seth's birthday party. Being pregnant and all Seth had insisted that she recieved some help from his parents. He knew that Summer wouldr rather do it all by herself but he didn't want to risk anything and he knew that his parents would be happy to help out. Ever since Summer had told about her pregnancy they'd both been super excited calling everyday and visiting every other. Maybe everybody having their first grandchild acted like his parents did, Seth didn't know. But he decided to let them have their way knowing that Summer didn't mind the extra attention.

Seth and Summer had a long time ago decided to tell each other about their birthday parties. They still planned them separately but they had realised that surprise parties weren't for them. They appriciated the parties as much, if not more, when they knew about them. So, this party that Summer was keeping herself occupied planning together with Seth's parents and with a little help from Ryan was not a surprise party. It was way better.

Summer had decided to make this party something special even if Seth was only turning 26. It was his last birthday before the baby arrived and knowing that Seth had wanted to wait Summer didn't want him to feel like he was missing anyhting. She wanted to do something special for him to show how much she appreciated his positive adjustment when it came to the baby. She doubted that he didn't already know how much she loved him but wanting him to be aware of _how_ much she loved and adored him, Summer was planning something big.

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Seth sat by the kitchen table doing some work. As he tried to focuse and get everything done so that he could take the weekend off he noticed Summer sitting in the living room sofa. She had papers in her lap and was concentrating hard on what Seth assumed was his birthday party.

He couldn't help but smile as he watched her tucking some hair behind her right ear and watering her lips. Summer was always so focused when she wanted to be and she gave everyhting she had to make things perfect. Seth admired that about her.

As Seth had been watching her for a while she looked up and met his gaze. At that moment people might think that they would say something or sit together. And even if that was what they both wanted at the moment they remained in separate rooms knowing that they had to get what they were doing done and if they sat next to each other that wouldn't happen.

Seth was doing some work to be able to be together with Summer this weekend and Summer was working on Seth's party so this little time apart was for a good cause. They were doing this for each other. With that understanding they exchanged a smile and returned to their work.

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"Cohen?" Summer called from inside the shower.

Seth, picking up some clothes in the bedroom on Summer's orders, yelled a 'yeah' in reply.

"Can you get me the new shampoo I bought?"

"Sure, hon'," Seth yelled and went straight out to the living room where Summer had dumped all her shopping bags. He still couldn't belive that she could buy all these things. Her wardrobe was by now bigger than the biggest and he couldn't even find his favourite shirt in his own closet, his closet that Summer had added more than enough of clothes into.

Summer always bought the latest of every other thing you could imagine, not just clothes. If she saw a commercial for a new frying pan, she had to buy it. The same concerned if she saw a celibrity with a certain necklace or reading about a model using a special skin cream. She always had to buy it, and there were no exceptions.

Summer definitely was a shopper.

Under at least a dozen of other bags Seth finally found the shampoo Summer had asked for.

As he walked into the bathroom and heard the water sound and blurred seeing his gorgeous wife through the glass wall Seth just couldn't give her the shampoo and disappear again. He quickly undressed without her awareness he stepped into the shower.

"Cohen!" Summer shrieked as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "God, you scared me!"

Seth innocently met her eyes and held up the shampoo. "Sorry," he tried.

Summer didn't seem to be seriously mad at him for scaring her. She gently took the shampoo bottle and placed it on the little shelf they had for soup, shampoo and hair conditioner. She then brought Seth closer to her and let him join her under the showerhead.

Leaning up closer to his face she whispered, "you're forgiven," and let their lips unite. It was kind of a shy move, kind of careful.

Summer did that sometimes; she became this vulnerable and reserved woman. But Seth loved that about her; he loved all of her sides and the fact that he now during her pregnancy was able to see them all a lot more often was not something he didn't like. On the contrary he loved that she surprised him with these sides that he rarely got to see in her.

Sure, her mood changes could be difficult sometimes and several times each day she challanged him and he had no idea what to do; how to handle her and do the right thing. But Seth always tried his best to please her and to take care of her, hoping that that would be enough.

As the water kept raining down over them, wettening their bodies, Seth moved his lips to kiss Summer's jaw and neck bringing his hands down to her stomach.

He could still not believe that there was a life in there; that something that they'd created together was inside of Summer's belly. It was so amazing and every day, more than one time, Seth studied her stomach to see exactly how much it had grown and how much it had changed. For every day something happened in there. The baby was by now actually about three inches he had been told and its weigh was about one ounce.

Summer hadn't started to show much; a strange person wouldn't notice that she was pregnant. But Seth saw. Her stomach was a little rounder and harder than usual and it was so beautiful. Seth had never before thought that pregnant women were very pretty; it had never been anything special about them. But when it was Summer, his own wife and the mother of _his_ child, it was the most amazing and beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

She had started to complain about her favourite jeans being too tight and if Seth knew his wife, she would wait with maternity clothes as long as she possibly could. But he thought that she was being so cute, standing in front of the mirror every morning to see if her stomach had grown. He secretely watched her, knowing that she got uncomfortable with him watching her more these days.

So, at times like these he tried to show her that he thought that she was wonderful. He wanted her to be comfortable with him touching her and looking at her. Because nothing as beautiful as Summer existed.

As Seth went lower with his lips and started to go down on his knees to trace kisses over her belly Summer stopped him. "Seth, don't," she started uncertainly taking his hands and pulling him up to her level again.

"What's wrong?" Seth asked concerned as he carressed her hands, searching her face.

Summer looked away, not meeting his eye as she was embarrassed. "Nothing, I just want you up here."

After recieving a look saying that he knew it was more she continued in a quickly speed of words. "I just don't want you to do anything."

Feeling that she had to explain it to him since she didn't want to hurt him she tried to put her feelings into words. "It's hard enough being naked in here with you but when you're staring at me I-"

Seth stopped her, knowing that she was self-conscious. He didn't need her to explain anything to him and he wanted to make her realise what he was feeling and thinking. "Summer, baby. I am only looking at you because you're so beautiful. Okay? I think you're beautiful. But if you're not comfortable with me touching you then I won't. But-"

This time it was Summer interrupting Seth. "I do want you to touch me, Seth." Summer started and tried to find the right words to express her feelings with so that he would understand. "I'm just feeling...not so beautiful right now. All exposed and I have gained weight." Her voice broke and Seth noticed Summer's bottom lip tremble as she lowered her head, looking anywhere but at him. He knew that this was hard for her to talk about and he wanted her to feel comfortable with telling him things.

"Sweetie, you're looking amazing. And you're pregnant, something that I love. I love you, I love our baby and I love your body, okay? You're perfect in my eyes and you'll always be." Seth told her reassuring in a gentle voice.

"Thanks. I needed to hear that. But Seth?" she asked him finally metting his gaze.

"Yeah?"

"Would you be mad if I said that I don't want to right now. I just want attention up here." She made a gesture to her face giving him a weak smile.

"Of course, baby. I would never do anything you don't want to."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Positive. I will now place kisses everywhere I can," Seth started and kissed her shoulder, "up here."

Summer smiled as he kissed her collarbone making his way back up to her lips.

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_That was part one. Leave a review! _

_I first thought about posting the whole chapter but it's around 4700 words long so i split it into two parts. And this was the best place to divide it because I couldn't just do it in the middle of a scene. _

_Now I also want you guys to start voting. I want to know if you want the baby to be a boy or a girl. So, leave me a vote. I promise that I'll include your thoughts in my decision. Some people have asked me what the sex is so I thought that before I decide anything you should have a chance to say something. _

_Please review and the next part will be up sooner! _


	15. The surprise party : part two

_Thanks for the amazing reviews! _

_I'm sorry that this took a while but I was trying to make this part shorter. It didn't go that well though but I hope that you'll like that it's a little longer than my chapters usually are. _

_A Heart's Desire_

**The surprise party : part two**

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Summer opened her eyes and turned to look at the alarm she had on her bedside table; 08.56. Perfect.

She quickly slipped out of bed and glanced over at her husband to see if he was asleep. Seth was lying on his stomach, snoring quietly. Perfect.

She tip-toed to the bathroom where she freshened up a bit, then went back into the bedroom seeing that Seth was in the exact same position fast asleep.

"Baby," Summer quietly said as she climbed into their big bed letting her fingers dance on Seth's bare back. She crept up to his side and lay down; one arm wrapping over his back, the other one caressing his cheek.

Seth began to stir as she started to trace kisses on his arm that was lying carelessly next to him. He mumbled something sounding like 'five more minutes' and turned his head away from Summer never opening his eyes.

Summer giggled and leaned up on one arm moving her face over to Seth's cheek that was visible. She placed a kiss on his cheekbone and blew some hot air in his ear. That did make Seth wake up. He scratched his ear and again rolled over, this time to his back making Summer fall on top of him.

Seth squinted his eyes and finally opened them fully. "Hi," he said in a still sleepy voice, a little surprised to find Summer on top of him.

"Hi, birthday boy." Summer said back causing them both to grin. "Happy 26th, baby!"

Seth smiled brightly. "I'm 26."

Summer nodded and smiled at how cute he was, his hair all messy. "Yes, you are. How does it feel?"

"Really good actually. 26 is so much better than 25."

Summer giggled having heard the same thing every year so far.

"Hey, you'll feel it too in six months." Seth said seriously, being stubborn as a little child.

"I'm sure I will, baby." Summer said and kissed his jaw, babying him. She then continued to trace kisses all over his neck, nibbling his earlobe as she moved further up. As Seth couldn't stand her teasing anymore he brought her up to meet his face and caught her lips with his own in a rather rough kiss.

"You know, _techically_ you're not 26 yet." Summer said in a seducive voice, pulling away from the kiss. Seth grunted, upset by her sudden stop.

"Sure I am. Six thirty." he mumbled and pulled her closer to him again, giving her a deep kiss but she pulled away again. "Summer," he whined, knowing that she was teasing him.

"In the evening, sweetie." Summer answered and this time Seth decided to let them have this little chat because if she pulled away again he would just scream.

"Who told you that?" Seth asked as he caressed her upper arms, hoping to make her all hot so that she would shut up and kiss him again.

"Your mom." Summer replied casually.

"You're spending way too much time with my mom."

"Of course I am. And she tells me all about you when you were young."

"She wouldn't do that."

"Oh, yes she does."

"Like what?" Seth asked worridly.

"New Year's 1997, your little problem with Mrs. Stevens in fifth grade and the time you-"

"Enough! I can't believe that she told you that. I'll remember that once she's eighty and has a zimmer frame."

"Hey!" Summer warned bringing up a finger in the air. "Your mother is the best. And I'm your wife so I have the right to know every single thing about you." Summer explained very pleased with herself. "But, enough of that. It is your birthday."

"Yes, it is." Seth said, happy that she was finally done with the talking. It was usually he who talked so this was very annoying for him, having her talk and interrupt all the time when all he wanted to do was to make out.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Anything?" Seth asked excitedly.

"Anything."

"Well, for now I just want to-" Seth started and brought his arms round Summer rolling them over so that she was underneath him. He was of course careful not to lay on her pregnant stomach. "-stay here and do a little of this." Seth finished and was finally able to kiss his wife without any interuption.

Or so he thought anyway. But with their luck the phone just had to start ringing.

"Nooo," Seth and Summer whined in unison as they turned their heads to look at the ringing phone on the bedside table.

"You schould answer that." Summer said. They could have ignored it but it was Seth's birthday so it was probably someone calling to wish him a happy birthday.

"Yeah," Seth said and sat up, hoping to make this quickly so that he could return to Summer.

"Hello?..hi mom, thank you...yes I am...is Ryan there?...hi buddy...thank you...sure...no, it's okay...I'm sure she's busy with the party...yes I know about it...okay, see you soon." And with that Seth put the phone down.

Summer had also sat up during his talk on the phone. She was leaning her head on his shoulder looking at him and wanting him to tell her about the conversation.

"It was my mom and then Ryan. They wished me happy birthday." he explained, planting a light kiss on Summer's temple.

Summer nodded and slowly reached up to kiss him. After a long kiss Seth pulled away and placed his hands on either side of her pretty face. "Ryan asked me to join him for some surfing together with dad. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure. It's your birthday and I'll be busy with your mom." Summer said, knowing how much Seth had come to love surfing.

"Thanks, baby." Seth said and gave her a finale kiss before stepping up and going into the wardrobe to find his surfing clothes.

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To tell the truth Summer was a bit disappointed that Seth had left to spend time with his father and brother. She knew that it was a good thing, the three of them doing something together. That rarely happened and she knew how involved Seth and Ryan had got into surfing and Sandy was very eager to have his two sons out with him since he'd never been able to bring any family members.

Summer had wanted to stay in bed together with Seth though. She knew that she had things to do with the party but it was his birthday and that should mean some quality time in bed. But she guessed that they would have to wait until after the party tonight. Then there would be nothing disturbing and interrupting. It would just be the two of them.

Though she was still disappointed that when she for once had wanted to Seth hadn't.

But Summer had been busy the whole day and she'd had a good time together with Kirsten and Marissa, who had been helping to set up the whole thing. A big party requiered a lot of planning and setting up. Summer was lucky to have the very experienced Kirsten Cohen by her side; she was a master of party planning. But still, there had been plenty to do.

So now, just minutes before Seth would arrive, everything was perfect. Just as Summer had wanted it to be. But she was so nervous. Kirsten had been by Summer's side the last hour just to keep her from stressing herself out.

She had no idea why she was being so nervous; it all was perfect and the guests that already had arrived had all given compliments to Summer. She had done a great job. Maybe she was nervous because she wanted Seth to love this; maybe she was nervous because she still was a little afraid that deep down Seth's anxious feelings about the baby was there, that maybe he just didn't want to tell her and hurt her.

"Summer, Seth's here now." Kirsten said and Summer saw her husband enter the restaurant. He was dressed in a black striped shirt and had black pants. He was looking so hot.

The nervousness of seeing him overtook her though. "I'll be right there, Kirsten."

"You're not coming?"

"Yeah, soon. Just give me a second to gather myself." Kirsten nodded looking a little confused and left to go greet her son, leaving Summer to stand on her own in the corner.

Summer felt like she was waiting to hold a speach in front of a whole nation. Her hands were all sweaty. She looked around and saw that everyone was occupied and enjoying themselves.

As she turned her gaze towards Seth she saw him greet his parents and a few friends. He looked really happy. And then, he greeted his colleagues. Everybody gave him a handshake until a woman smiling brightly gave in for a hug. She whispered something in Seth's ear and they both laughed.

Summer quickly turned away. Everything was starting to spin and she had to calm down. She leaned against the wall closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. She felt as if she was going to faint.

Opening her eyes again she saw Seth look around the club searching for something. The colleague was talking to him though so he gave her his attention and fallowed her to the bar.

This was not suppose to happen. Seth was supposed to go with her to the bar and she was supposed to give him her first surprise of the evening.

Though Summer stayed in the corner, hiding from all the people. She was not ready at all to face any of them, especially not Seth.

Without thinking Summer grabbed a drink from a waiter passing by. She took a few sips and sat down on the floor, resting her head against the dark wall. The corner she sat in was protected by a curtain and a couch so no one had a clear view into it. She was well hidden.

Summer suddenlt felt someone tap her shoulder. She looked up and saw a friend from college standing bent over her, Alison. "Hey, are you okay Summer?" she gently asked.

Summer swallowed and nodded, aware of how she must look sitting on the floor with a drink in her hand. "Yeah, sure. I'm just gonna go outside for a while."

Summer stood up with help from Alison. "You want me to come with you?" Alison asked gently, obviously concerned about her friend.

"No, but thanks. I'll be alright."

With those words Summer excused herself and quickly went outside. She walked out the back way and was met by the cool air. Taking another sip from her drink she breathed in some fresh air and felt a little more relaxed.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Back inside Seth was starting to get worried. He hadn't seen Summer and he'd already been there for more than half an hour.

"Mom, is Summer supposed to surprise me in a cake or what?"

Kirsten nervously looked around, trying to find Summer. "I'm sure she'll be here soon, sweetie. She was just really nervous. She'll be here soon."

Seth laughed. "Why would she be nervous?"

"She wanted you to like this party I guess."

"I do, I really do." Seth said as he once again looked at the surroundings. Everything was kind of classy and in the colours of dark green and yellow. It was all very nice and all of Seth and Summer's friends were there. It was only one thing missing and that was Summer.

"Seth?" someone said and Seth turned around finding Alison.

"Hi Alison! I'm glad you could make it." Seth said and gave her a hug, kind of surprised that she hadn't wished him happy birthday since he was greeted with those words from every single person on this day.

"Yeah, and happy birthday. Listen, I saw Summer a few minutes ago and I don't know if she was okay."

Seth quickly got a serious look on his face. He had thought that Summer was just fixing herself in the bathroom and therefore being late. But his mother had loked confused about her not being here and now this. Seth was starting to get worried. "You saw Summer? Where is she?"

"Well, she was over there before and-" Seth didn't let her continue. He hurried towards the place Alison had pointed at. He didn't know why he was so worried but the moment Alison had said that she might not be okay something in his stomach had turned.

He had to make sure she was alright.

Some people tried to say happy birthday as he rushed past them but right now Seth didn't care. It wasn't like Summer not to show herself. He had expected her to flung her arms around him when he arrived. He knew how excited Summer had been about this birthday party.

The corner Alison had pointed out was empty but as Seth spotted the door out he quickly opened it and stepped outside.

"Summer?" he gently asked as he saw her sitting against the wall. What was she doing out here?

Summer looked up at him with a smile, looking a little embarrassed. She had probably realised how odd this was; hiding from the party and sitting outside on the ground in the cool night.

"Summer, why are you out here alone?" Seth asked and kneeled down next to her. It was at that moment he noticed the drink next to her. It wasn't one of those tiny drinks; the glass was not small and it certainly wasn't much left in it.

"What is this?" Seth asked her in a steady tone, afraid of what she would answer.

"Um, it's a-" Summer started uncertainly but Seth interrupted her.

"I know what this is, Summer. You haven't drunk any, have you?" he asked her in a dangerous voice.

"Well, I didn't take much." Summer quietly said, feeling the disappointment in his voice.

Seth couldn't believe this. This was Summer and she knew better. "What were you thinking, Summer? You're pregnant!"

"I know!" she snapped back; he wouldn't understand.

"How could you do this?"

"I didn't have much, Seth. I just needed to cool down a bit."

Seth didn't buy that as an excuse though and spoke again with a higher voice. "With alcohol? Summer, you're hurting our baby!"

Summer was about to say something back but those words made her shut up. She couldn't say anything back to that. It was true. She had only drunk almost one drink but she didn't know how much it took to hurt the baby. She hadn't been thinking.

"How could you, Summer? It's not that hard to take a glass of orange juice instead."

"How would you know? You don't have to do anything! For you everything is just normal. I'm the one going through all these not so funny changes while you screw around with skanks!" Summer screamed on top of her lungs, tears starting to fall. She just exploaded as he accused her, not used to him being really mad at her.

She sniffled a little and angrily tried to wipe at her tears, that wouldn't stop falling. She was crying because she was angry at him for not understanding, because she was hurt and scared that he didn't want her as much. He had rejected her this morning and he never, ever did that. And that female colleague didn't really help; she already felt self-conscoius enough. And she was crying because she had taken alcohol and she might have hurt the baby.

"How dare you say anything like that? Just because you're carrying the baby doesn't mean that I'm not affected. It's my baby too!"

"Oh, I know it is. And maybe you should show it a little better!"

Seth took a deep breath, stopping himself from yelling at her even more. He felt as if he could shout at her all night but he decided not to. She would have to deal with what she'd done herself. "I'm gonna go inside and maybe you should think about that as well. Thanks for the party by the way. It's just perfect!" Seth yelled and went inside slamming the door as he did so.

A few people inside looked at him as he angrily walked through the restaurant.

"Seth? Where have you been?" his father asked standing by the entrance.

Seth decided to stop and explain some before leaving. "I'm leaving. Summer's just outside the back door; she's been drinking."

Sandy seemed to be surprised. "What are you talking about? It's your birthday party."

"Yeah. Well, you could try saying that to my wife."

"Is she alright?"

"At the moment, I don't care. I'm just gonna leave."

And that was what Seth did. He walked out of the restaurant meeting a few friends on his way out but never stopping his quick pace to say hi.

Sandy, confused as hell, was left behind. What had that been about?

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_So, this was a little different chapter. Please tell me your opinion!_

_I have in this story pretty much always written Seth as the one doing something wrong but now I decided to let Summer disappoint Seth. Next chapter will probably involve a lot more feelings and you'll find out more about why she was drinking and being nervous. Maybe that wasn't clear enough here._

_Also, keep voting for the sex of the baby. Boy or girl?_

_Please review! You must have something to say about this chapter. And remember that the reviews are making me update faster. _


	16. Broken heart's

_I wanna thank all of my reviewers; I wouldn't write if it wasn't for you. A big Thank You! _

_I wanted to give you this chapter before I go on vacation for a week. So, please; surprise me with lots of reviews when I come back!_

_A Heart's Desire _

Broken hearts 

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Summer remained sitting on the ground outside the restaurant. She hadn't stopped crying since Seth left, on the contrary she was crying even more. The tears wouldn't stop and she was surprised that her crying hadn't made somone from inside come and tell her to shut up; her hiccuping and sobbing must be heard for miles and miles. At least that was how it felt like.

She couldn't even think straight because of her heavy crying. The tears that kept running down her cheeks and wettening her face made her eyes burn so she had a while ago brought her head down to rest on her knees. She had by now tears everywhere it seemed, tears mixed with snot. Usually Summer would at least wipe her nose but now she didn't care. How could she care about snot when she had just ruined everything?

Summer's hands slowly travelled downward to her stomach. What if she had hurt her baby? A new crying session overtook her as she felt the tiny roundness on her stomach. She had her precious baby in there and she was supposed to protect it and keep it safe in there for several more months. It wasn't even born yet and she was already a bad mother.

Summer didn't even notice the door open but as someone sat down next to her she slowly lifted her head to see Kirsten. Sandy was standing just behind her and at that moment Summer felt more embarrassed than she had in a very long time.

"Summer, what are you doing out here?" Kirsten gently asked and Summer immediately stood up, afraid of telling them. She was tired of disappointing people she loved and having done that to the person she loved most in the entire world she wasn't sure that she could do it again.

Wiping her face Summer smiled, forcing her tears back. "Would you mind just taking me home? I don't feel like talking about it."

Kirsten and Sandy both looked confused but nodded. "Sure, sweetie."

Summer didn't want to explain anything. She just wanted to go home.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth watched the sky from the balcony, fumbling with a flower. He ripped off the leaves and threw them out in the air, seeing them blow away in the wind.

He had come here, wanting a calm place where he could think. His anger had disappeared faster than he had expected. When he was screaming at Summer he had felt like his anger would never go away but as soon as he walked into their apartment it had run off him. Now, he was just sad and scared.

What if Summer had hurt the baby? He was so afraid that she had but he was even more afraid of why she had been drinking. Had she done it more than one time and he hadn't noticed? Maybe he had been working too much again.

But he hadn't. Seth had tried extremely hard these last couple of weeks to always be around and let her know that she was the most important thing in his life; she and their baby. She couldn't have been drinking because he was all over her all the time either. He had given her space when she needed space and he had let her be alone when she wanted to be alone.

Then what was wrong? Clearly something was. And why had she accused him for cheating on her? Had it just been a thing she'd said or did she actually believe that?

Seeing Summer's devastated face in front of him from when he'd yelled at her Seth felt a worry grow inside of him. Not only for the baby but also for his wife. It wasn't something Summer would normally do, drinking while being pregnant, so something must be really wrong.

Seth heard the door open and shut again and figured that Summer was home. He was thankful for that and walked inside to see if she was okay. Even if this was far from over he just couldn't bear to not know what was wrong.

The bedroom door was closer and he could her her soft cries from in there. Careful, not to scare her he opened the door and found Summer on their bed. She lay on her side of the bed and was resting on her side, her face away from Seth. He knew that she must have noticed him entering the room since her crying stopped.

She was probably scared or angry right now. If Seth knew Summer right she was scared of talking to him and scared of showing her crying, her feelings. She was probably more scared than angry since Seth knew how guilt made Summer and he knew that she must feel very guilty for what she'd done. So right now, Seth did not wan't to make things worse and judge her. For now, he had to put those thoughts aside.

Seth carefully walked over to the bed and lay down on his side of the bed, facing Summer's back. He placed a hand on her lower back and gently moved closer to her. He hugged her from behind and felt her holding her breath. "It's okay, Sum. I'm here." he said and could immediately feel Summer tremble. He knew that she was fighting her crying so he stroked her hair with one hand as he hugged her close to him with his other showing her that she could let go. And she did. Muffled sobs escaped from her mouth as she held her hand over it to try to stop them. It didn't work though and soon her body was shaking as more and more sobs were heard.

Seth turned her around and brought her face into his chest, knowing that she was still holding it in. "It's alright, honey. It's alright." he repeated over and over and she finally allowed herself to cry. Almost hysterical sobs racked through her body as she clung on to Seth, gripping his shirt in her hands.

She wanted to say that she was sorry, she wanted nothing more than to apologize to him. But right now, she couldn't do anything but cry. So she did for a long time. Summer cried while Seth gently rocked her and whispered calming words into her hair.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer opened her eyes and immediately knew that it hadn't all been a dream. She could feel the reminder of tears in her eyes and on her face. Taking a deep breath and preparing to get out from the bed she noticed Seth.

He was curled up close to her and his breathing was on her shoulder, something that usually sent a comforting feeling through her whole body. It was different this time though.

The fact that he was there, sleeping next to her after having held her as she cried, must mean something. It must mean that he didn't hate her for what she'd done, that he no matter what cared about her. Even after what she had done.

But she couldn't stop think about that colleague. What if there was something going on between the two of them. Summer wouldn't allow herself to be cheated on. She had never, ever believed that Seth would do something like that to her but maybe it was different now. Maybe it was different now when she was pregnant.

Seth looked so innocent and protective as he lay next to her. But yet she couldn't stay in his arms as she would usually do when she woke up before him. Even if there was nothing she wanted more than to feel his comfort surround her.

Summer got up, careful not to wake Seth, and walked into the bathroom. Gosh, she looked horrible. Her make up was all over her face and you could certainly see that she'd been crying. She actually looked kind of pathetic in the dress that was supposed to make her look sexy, her hair a mess and her face swollen with make up smeared over her cheeks.

Not being able to watch herself anymore she stepped out of her dress and underwear, quickly entering the shower in hope to get every sign of the previous night away. If only she could erase the whole night.

After having taken a shower Summer got dressed and sat down by the kitchen table with the phone. She was going to call her doctor to make sure that she hadn't hurt the baby last night.

Being pregnant was new and scary. There were so many thing Summer didn't know about things; what she was allowed to do and not. She had bought a few books but it was so much to take in. Her life was gonna change forever.

One thing that Summer did know about pregnant women was that they should avoid alcohol. Something that, out of mistake, Summer hadn't done.

Her doctor, Madlen Peterson, had said to Summer that she could call her any time. If she was worried about something, or unsure or just needed someone who understood her pregnancy Summer could call. And this was an emergency.

Madlen answered the phone almost immediately, making it impossible for Summer to change her mind.

"Hi, it's Summer. Summer Cohen." she quietly said, not entirely sure of how to say this.

"Oh, hi Summer! How are you?"

"I don't know." Summer said into the phone and prepared herself to tell. "I've done something I shouldn't have."

"Okay. You wanna tell me?" Madlen softly said; maybe she'd done this before.

Summer had never been afraid of doctors, her father was one so she'd been surrounded by them since she was a little girl. But now, when it was about her health it felt a little weird. At first, when Summer and Seth had gone to the appointment together, Summer had been terrified. She didn't want someone to examine her. Madlen had been very professional though and made everything easy for Summer. She'd explained everything in detail and made Summer feel comfortable. Madlen was a young doctor, only a couple of years older than Summer and she had a very kind and friendly personality.

To say out loud what she'd done though, even if it was to Madlen who Summer had confidence to, was harder than Summer had imagined. She took a deep breath and felt the lumb in her throat grow.

"Summer?"

"I'm sorry. I just can't-" Summer started and felt the first tears escape from her eyes.

"Okay, Summer. I know that this is hard. If you'll just tell me what's wrong I can help you. I promise that I'll help you, Summer."

Wiping some tears Summer gathered herself. "Yesterday I-it was Seth's birthday and on his birthday party-" Summer trailed off again.

"Did something happen on the party, Summer?"

"Yes. I-" Summer felt a new wave of tears burn in her eyes so she hurried to say what she needed to say. "I took a drink." Summer said and began to cry. "I didn't mean to, I didn't think." she cried, totally falling apart.

"I know that you didn't do it on purpose, Summer. Being pregnant is hard and many women do the same thing. It should be avoided but one drink won't do any damage. But you can come here and we can see, just in case. Would you want that, Summer?" Madlen asked as Summer kept crying. She calmed down a bit though, feeling a little embarrassed.

"So I haven't hurt the baby? It's not gonna get brane damages or anything?" Summer asked, worried.

"Hopefully not, Summer. But you can come here and we'll take some tests. I'm sure that everything's gonna be okay."

"If you say so."

"Can you come now? I'm free for two hours."

"Yeah, I'll come right now."

"Then I see you and Seth soon."

Summer tensed at the mention of Seth's name. She couldn't take him with her. "Um, I'm not sure if Seth will come with me. Would it be okay if I came alone?"

"Well, yeah. I just thought that Seth would want to come with you."

"Yeah. I'm coming alone though. Thanks for everything."

"No problem. See you soon."

"See ya." Summer said and put the phone down. She wiped away the tears on her face and got up from the chair, going to get herself ready. But as she turned around Seth stood there, facing her.

"I'm coming with you." he said in a determined voice.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_I'm not too pleased with this chapter but I promise you that the next is gonna give you more answers. I already have most of it written._

_I wanna tell you all (especially the ones that are disappointed at me for making Summer pregnant) that to write a story about Seth and Summer being a married couple without having it the same way as other stories is hard. I try to make my story a little different but it's hard to find a good thing to write about. I mean, if I want the two of them to be together and happy and have a lot of cute moments I figured that the best way to still have that was to have Summer pregnant. It's not an issue that tears them apart but it still gives me enough of things to write about. It is hard to not include a pregnancy or a love triangle if you have them as a married couple. I mean, what are you supposed to write about? And, this is my story and even if I'm trying to make it different I won't be able to write about new things all the time. Do you know how many SS stories that are out there? _

_I hope that you understand what I mean. This is not something I wrote because I got some chritism about my story being much alike others. I just reacted to people voting for the sex of the baby and wanting it to be a boy because that's different. I also know that some readers didn't want Summer to be pregnant because there already are so many stories where that happens. So, I just wanted to clear this out. _

_Keep reviewing and do not be afraid to chritisize. I love all of my reviews! _

_I also want suggestions on baby names. It seems like most of you want it to be a girl but I still haven't decided. So please, help me with the names or I'll just pick something I like. _

_I reaslise that this author's note it a little too long but I want to let you all know that Life Continues is on a temporary hiatus. That is because of my lack of inspiration. I promise that I'll start write again sometime this summer though. _

_Just one more thing before I end this. I have not been able to check the spelling and grammar of my writing for a while now. My spelling and translation program is not working. So if you've noticed more mistakes than usual you now know the reason. English is not my native language (as you might already know I'm from Sweden) and as much as I'd like to think that my English is pretty good I know that I make more mistakes than I know of. _

_Please review! _


	17. Nobody's perfect on their own

_Thanks for the reviews!_

_A Heart's Desire_

Nobody's perfect on their own 

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_"I'm coming with you" _

Seth's voice was sharp and definite and adding the look on his face Summer knew that he was being serious. She wondered for how long he'd been standing there since he knew where she was going. She hoped that he hadn't been there for long.

"Okay," she shortly answered after a while. Seth wasn't dressed yet so they both went back to their bedroom to get ready.

None of them said a word and they were both careful not to meet the other one's eyes. Neither of them were ready to confront the other.

Seth quickly undressed and stepped into the shower as Summer put on some make up standing in front of the bathroom mirror. She couldn't help but look at Seth through the glass wall. She did it in the mirror though, careful not to let him see. He looked really hot with the water streaming down his body.

Seth turned around and met Summer's eye for a second. She quickly looked away though, blushing. She tried to concentrate on her face, putting on the make up. Summer knew that he had seen her watching him but she wished that he hadn't.

Once Seth stepped out of the shower Summer looked away again wishing that he would cover himself up with a towel. It was impossible not to look at him. Pretty much every day the last couple of years they'd been doing this, getting ready in the same bathroom. It had always been something natural and they never felt it as if the other one was in the way and they'd never been embarrassed. They were always comfortable with it.

It was different now though. Sure they had faught a lot of times but it was never like this; like they were afraid of each other.

They finished getting ready, not uttering a single word and trying not to look at each other either. They both had their minds on the night before but none of them had the courage to start talking about it.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Nice to see you here. Seth, I didn't think you could make it." Madlen greeted them and showed them inside her room.

Seth scratched his chin and gave a nod. "Well, I came."

"I'm glad. It is so important that you support Summer."

Both Seth and Summer nodded, slightly uncomfortable. Madlen seemed to notice the tension between the two of them because she switched the subject.

"So, Summer are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that," she replied referring on her break down over the phone.

"No worries. Being pregnant isn't easy. Believe me, I know. I've got a two year old myself." Madlen explained and offered Seth and Summer to sit down. They sat down on a couch, leaving as much space between them as possible. "I understand that Seth is aware of why we are here today."

"I know about the drinking." Seth said to Madlen.

"Drinking? Seth, it was one drink. One. And I didn't even have it all." Summer said to her defense as she was offended by Seth's comment.

"Well, how am I supposed to know that it was just one? Maybe this has been going on for a long time." Seth said, finally talking to Summer.

"It hasn't. It hasn't." Summer repeated.

At this point Madlen took over again. "It sounds as if this drink is important to you both. Care to share what the reason behind it was?"

"I wouldn't have touched it if Seth wasn't cheating on me!" Summer said upset.

"Cheating! Summer, what do you think of me? Don't you know me at all? I would never do that, ever."

"How do you explain your behaviour around your blonde colleague then, huh? And the fact that you don't wanna have sex with me any more?"

"What colleague!"

"At the party!" Summer almost yelled with tears in her eyes.

"You mean Erica? What about her?"

"I saw how she greeted you and how you talked to her. You were laughing and she was whispering in your ear." Summer said now crying freely. She had never seen herself as someone who's boyfriend was cheating.

"Keep talking Seth. You need to sort this out." Madlen said calmly as she saw Seth's insecureness. Summer crying had always been a thing he hated. Heck, he hated when all women cried.

"Summer, I am not cheating on you. Not with Erica or anyone else. She's just a colleague and that's that. And I do want to have sex with you!"

"No, you don't."

Seth looked at Madlen and was about to give up. Summer could be really stubborn when she wanted to be. Madlen gave him an encouraging look though and he started to explain. "Summer, just because we haven't had sex as much as we usually do the past couple of weeks does not mean that I don't want to. I do! But you keep pushing me away, you don't want me to touch you. And therefore I haven't done that. Because I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do."

"I do want." Summer sobbed.

"Okay, you guys. Let's skip what you both want. Would you let me say what I think?" Madlen offered, obviously aware of the fact that this conversation wasn't going anywhere. They both nodded. "I know that pregnant women can have problems with sex and being exposed in front of people. And then I mean in front of all people, even the one they love. Do you feel that Summer? Is it different now when you're pregnant?"

"Yeah, I guess." Summer shrugged, having stopped crying.

Madlen nodded. "That is completely normal. And Seth here, maybe is just trying to do the right thing. If I'm right Seth just wants you Summer to be comfortable. He does want to be intimate with you but only if he knows that you're comfortable with it." She took a break and tried to explain it better. "Okay, have you ever said no, Summer? I mean in a way that shows that you don't want him to touch you?"

Summer nodded and looked over at Seth, seeing his face soften.

"I think that you both want to be intimate with each other but you're afraid of what the other one is thinking. At a time like this it's so important to feel safe with your partner. Especially for the woman, for Summer. I don't know if you've read the books that I recommended but a pregnant women is so sensitive. I am not judging you or anything and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just be aware of the fact that even though Summer is carrying your baby you're in this together. Okay?"

Again they both nodded and Summer carefully looked over at Seth, the tears having returned. Seth met her eyes and smiled causing Summer to cry even more. She flung her arms around him and placed thousands of kisses on his neck.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Seth."

Seth embraced her and gently rocked her, happy to have her back in his arms. "Shh. I know, baby. It's okay now, everyhting's okay now." They stayed like that for a few moments and Summer calmed down. When they remembered that Madlen was there they pulled away, sitting closer next to each other this time though with Seth's arm wrapped around Summer's shoulders.

"Thanks, Madlen. And sorry about that again. I feel like this is more of a teraphy session than a visit to my doctor." Summer said, slightly embarrassed.

"It's okay. I'm just glad that you sorted this out. I know lots of women who come here alone. You are lucky to have each other."

They couple looked a little bit puzzled but smiled, quickly glancing at each other. "We know."

"Now, should we do what we came here to do?"

"Yeah," Summer said obviously ashamed.

Seth reassuringly stroked her lower back. "It's okay, Sum. We'll have a healthy baby."

"Madlen, is there any possibility that I hurt our baby?"

"There is but nothing should have happened Summer. Just don't have any alcohol again."

"I won't, ever." Summer promised.

"So, let's do this test shall we?"

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The moment Seth and Summer walked out from the clinic Summer jumped up into Seth's arms. She hugged him close and didn't even care that they were in the middle of a street.

"Hey, Summer." Seth said and walked them away a bit so they got some more privacy.

"I'm sorry. I've just missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too."

"I am so sorry. I don't know why I did it, I really don't and I wish that I hadn't done-"

"Summer, baby. I know. Okay? I know. You don't have to explain. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. I will never forgive myself if anything happens to the baby."

"Nothing's going to happen. You heard what Madlen said."

"Yeah. And about Erica. I'm sorry. I should know that you would never-"

Seth stopped her and placed his both hands on either side of her face. "Baby, listen to me. You don't have to apologize. I know that you're sorry and I am, too. I promise you that I love you and I want you, only you. It's always been you. You're undeniable, Summer." Seth smiled, showing his adorable dimples.

"Cheesy, Cohen." Summer said but couldn't stop the smile that was spreading all over her face.

"Oh, come on. You love cheesy Cohen." And it was true; Summer loved everything about him including his cheesiness.

"I do. I love you."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"So, here we are." Seth said as they entered their home. They both got this little strange feeling of how good it felt to enter that door again, together. Even if it hadn't been for long their fights always seemed to be like an eternity. It didn't feel like it was less than 24 hours ago.

"Here we are." Summer repeated and placed her jacket on the hanger and her purse on the drawer.

Seth nervously put his hands in his pockets and looked down on his shoes, acting as if they were sixteen again. "What do you-" he started but was caught off by Summer's lips on top of his. She kissed him sort of roughly and in a way that only she could, in a way that made his knees go week.

Seth never knew for a second what Summer would do next; around her he always had to be prepared. And even if he now knew Summer and had been married to her for a year and a half he still became nervous around her. He still felt like this awkward sixteen year old boy standing in front of this amazing girl.

Summer ripped his shirt off quickly as she still had her lips pressed against his, her tongue inside his mouth. Seth, still surprised by Summer's sudden forward behaviour, could do nothing but kiss her back. He placed his hands on her lower back as she dropped her shirt as well.

"Summer?" Seth said in between kisses.

"What?"

"Um..."

"I want this. Don't worry," she assured him and kissed him again.

"Okay."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_I have the next chapter pretty much written so if you give me good responses I'll update withing a few days. :)_

_Baby names suggestions. I have one or two in mind but I always like to hear what you guys think._

_Please review!_


	18. My little Summer

_I am so sorry. I know that this took way too long and I had planned for this part to be up a long time ago. But things didn't really work out._

_I want to thank you all for reviewing before I'll let you read on. So, thanks!_

_A Heart's Desire _

My little Summer

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**Several weeks later...**

"Cohen!"

Seth put the pillow over his head and tried to ignore the sound that had woken him up. He made himself comfortable again and tried to fall back asleep.

"Cohen!" Man, Summer had a loud voice. What was she doing? What did she need him for at...5 am?

"Cohen!" Summer yelled a bit louder this time, causing Seth to slowly sit up. There was just no way he could sleep when she was shouting on the top of her lungs. Seth tiredly rubbed his eyes as he sat up with his legs outside of the bed. Why couldn't she let him sleep?

He walked out of the bedroom and almost fell flat on his stomach as he stepped on Summer's shoes, thrown carelessly on the floor.

"Cohen," Summer said in a lot calmer voice as he appeared in the living room where she sat on the sofa with the TV on.

"What is it, Sum?" Seth asked, trying hard not to sound too annoyed.

Summer gave him a smile. "I could really use some company." she said as if it was reason enough to wake him up. "And something to eat." she carefully added, looking at him with those big brown eyes. She knew that she had him tied around her finger.

"That's it?" She nodded.

Seth sighed but didn't let her see, knowing that he would experience one of her rage blackouts if he complained. "Okay. What do you want?"

"Something sweet." Summer said and looked incredibly cute. She had that power over Seth. Once she showed her pretty face or gave him that smile, he just couldn't say no. It was impossible. Even at five o'clock in the morning.

Seth placed a lingering kiss on her temple and smiled as he saw the satisfied look on her face. "I'll be right back, cutie." Summer smiled and sat back down in the cushions, flicking through the channels.

A few minutes later Seth was standing in the doorway. He was watching Summer as she sat indian style keeping her gaze focused on her lap, not the TV. She placed her hands over her stomach and smiled.

Her stomach had grown and it only grew faster. She wasn't that big though. Madlen had told her that she was pretty small for her state. But that was perfectly normal and more usual with the first baby and with small women. And Summer didn't actually have a problem with it, she had gained enough weight according to herself.

"So, why are you up this early?" Seth asked as he flopped down on the sofa next to her, giving Summer her sweets.

She shrugged and cuddled closer to his body, ignoring the TV. "I'm just not sleepy."

"You have a very funny sleeping schedule." Seth said while watching her eat, just happy that she was happy.

"Sorry that I woke you up," Summer suddenly said and turned her face to look up at Seth.

"It's okay. I wouldn't want you to be up by ourself. I'm not tired ayway." That wasn't a lie; he wasn't tired anymore. Just like every morning when he got up the sleepiness disappeared once he stepped out of the bedroom. "And besides, it's good practise. Once the baby will arrive we won't get much sleep."

Summer thought about it and nodded. "I guess you're right. So there's at least one good thing with pregnant me and-"

"And?" Seth asked as she had stopped in the middle of a sentense. She didn't answer though but took his hand and placed it on top of her stomach together with hers. "What? Did the baby kick?" Seth searched his wife's smiling face and she nodded.

"The baby kicked, Seth." she happily told him, concentrating on their hands.

Seth disappointedly spoke. "I can't feel it."

"Put your hand here." Summer said and removed her own hand to let Seth place his where she'd felt the baby. "It's just a tiny little movement." she explained and watched her husband as he excitedly waited to feel their baby. After a few seconds his face lightened up and he smiled. "Did you feel it?"

Seth nodded and bent down placing a light kiss on the place where he'd felt the baby move. "She's in there. Healthy and perfect," he said and sat up again.

"Thank god," Summer whispered as Seth brought his hand up to her cheek. He knew that she still felt terrible about that time on his birthday.

"Hey," he said and caressed her soft skin with his hand. "She _is_ healthy."

Summer smiled and took Seth's hand in hers, leaning against his chest. "You really believe that it's a girl, don't you?" Seth nodded and combed her shiny dark hair with his fingers. "We should start thinking about names. We keep calling him or her 'the baby'."

Seth nodded, still combing her hair. "What do you have in mind?"

"I like many names and it's so hard to pick one. Should we have a name beginning with s? And we can't have a name on c because then the intials will be 'cc' and that's no fun." Summer rambled.

"I don't think we should pick name on s because then if we have more kids we have to have more s names." Seth said, adding some of his wiseness.

"That's true. So, no s names and no c names." Summer summed it up. "But I like Christopher and Sarah." she whined. Naming a baby was not easy.

Seth nodded and pecked her on the cheek. "And I like Cameron and Casandra. But we can't have those names."

"I know. What about r? Riley, Ruby, Rachel or we could name the baby after Ryan."

"No, it doesn't fit our baby. No r names either. But maybe an a? First letter in the alphabet." Seth suggested.

Summer seemed to think of the idea, frowning a little. "What names are there starting with a?"

"Lots. April; we could name her after a month. Or even better, after a season. Autumn. Summer and Autumn, isn't that cute?"

"No, that's weird. No seasons." Summer quickly said as to stop Seth from liking the idea too much. "But maybe Andrew or Alex." she suggested, wanting to add some names as well.

"Do you remember that I once had a girlfriend named Alex?" Seth pointed out, surprised that Summer had forgotten about Alex; the girlfriend he'd had when she was dating Zach and the girl who later had been dating Marissa.

"Yeah, right." Summer said, remembering that painful time. Even though she'd never admitted it to Seth, she'd been so jealous and so angry. She hated names startign with a. They only reminded her of Anna and Alex. "So, not Alex either. Maybe we shouldn't have any names starting with that letter."

"Okay." Seth slowly said, a little confused.

Quickly changing the subject Summer suggested a different way to come up with names. "Hey Cohen. Let's play a game."

"A game?"

"Yeah. We pick a name with each letter. First I pick one on a and then you pick one starting with b."

Seth seemed to accept the idea as he leaned back into the cushions, making himself comfortable. "Okay. What's the name on a then?"

"Amanda." Summer answered, wanting that letter to be over as soon as possible.

"So, your choice is Amanda. Then mine is Benjamin." Seth said, making sure that he understood their little game.

Summer nodded and continued with the letter they couldn't use. "Christopher."

"D. Dylan?"

"That's a great name. So cute. Evelyn."

"Faye."

"G. I don't know any names starting with g."

"Yeah you do." Seth said, trying to encourage her. Summer shook her head though.

"No, only ugly names."

"Am I allowed to help you?"

"Yes."

"What about Grace or Gracie." Seth suggested.

"Cohen. Who knew that you were this good with names? Little Gracie. That's so cute. Have you secretely thought about names without me?" Summer asked threatingly.

"Nope. Never without you my love. I guess I'm just a natural."

Summer giggled and placed a quick kiss on his nose. "Now, we must continue. It's your turn to pick a name."

"I don't like any names starting with h."

"Me neither. Only Haylie but we can't name our baby that. Maybe Hallie but that sounds too much like Haylie."

"Yeah. So no good names there. Moving on." And the game continued.

"Isaac."

"Jacob."

"Kimberly."

"Leah."

"Matthew."

"Nathan."

"Olivia."

"Paris."

"Q. Is there any names starting with q?" Summer asked confused.

"No, I don't think so."

"Then I take Romeo even if we can't have any r names."

"And even is we can't have any s names I say Shanelle."

"Tim or Tallulah."

"That's cute. And t is a good capital."

Summer agreed. "Yeah, but I liked your choices best. Dylan or Grace. Or Leah."

"Olivia is a pretty name. You know if we name her Olivia her intials would be 'oc'. That's pretty cool."

"Yeah but so not happening. Isaac and Jacob are cute names too. And I just thought about another name starting with j. Joseph."

"There are so many names. How are we ever gonna pick the right one?" Seth whined.

"Maybe we shouldn't think about it too much. I'm sure we'll find a good name."

Seth suddenly got the best idea ever. "You know, Summer. We could find out for sure if it's a boy or a girl. That would definitely help us out."

"Seth, you know that I want it to be a surprise." Summer told him. She wanted it to be a surprise. She wasn't like all other women who would die to know and then buy everything in pink if it was a girl and everything in blue if it was a boy. You could believe that that would be a thing Summer would do but to seth's surprise she'd told him that she didn't want to know the gendar.

Seth nodded. He knew but still tried to talk her into it. Things would get so much easier if they knew. "I know. But how are we gonna prepare a nursery if we don't know what it is. Pink or blue?"

"We can have it yellow or green. That works for both. I want a yellow nursery, a very light shape of yellow."

"What about clothes? Don't you want to buy our baby a lot of clothes?" seth asked stubbornly.

"I've already done that. You're not gonna win this, Seth."

"I'm not gonna win this." Seth repeated. He hadn't expected himself to win over Summer; he just never did.

"Nope." Summer said and hugged him as to give him some comfort. "We'll find out eventually. And besides, haven't you already decided that it's a girl?"

"I haven't decided. I can just feel it, you know? But it doesn't matter. It'll still be our baby."

Summer smiled and snuggled closer to Seth's body, placing her head just underneath his. She closed her eyes and lay her legs over Seth's.

"You sleepy?" Summer nodded and made Seth smile. "You want to go to bed?"

"No." she shortly answered.

"So, you want to sleep here?"

"Can't I?"

"Sure, but it'll be uncomfortable."

"It's comfortable."

"Well that is only because you're on top of me. I prefer the bed."

"Stay here. Please?" And again Seth couldn't possibly say no, same as the boy or girl thing; the best thing was to let Summer have it her way. That always made him happy and somehow don't care as much about what he wanted any more.

"Alright, but don't even think of waking me up if I fall asleep."

"I can make no promises."

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_Summer stood quietly by the door to the backyard. She was watching her husband as he was reading to their two children. Their son was four and sitting by Seth's legs using them as back support. He was the cutest boy Summer had ever seen with chocolate brown eyes and curly hair. Summer couldn't help but smile brighter as she saw how he was trying to tie his shoes while listening to Seth's reading._

_In Seth's lap sat a little girl about one year old. She was dressed in the girliest dress and was holding a purple teddy bear in her arms. Never had Summer believed that hers and Seth's kids would be this beautiful. It amazed her every day; every time she watched them, how blessed she really was. Seth, River and Josephine were her everything. _

_Seth suddenly met Summer's eyes, taking a short pause from the book. His look told Summer to join them and even though she could have stayed in the doorway watching them she slowly walked over to her family._

"_Mama!" River said with his childish voice and reached up his arms. Summer lifted him up and sat down next to Seth on the chair big enough for two persons. Smiling slightly at Josephine who was slurring in his lap Seth returned to reading the book. _

_Summer placed her head on Seth's shoulder, looking at her daughter over the book. This was like living in a dream. _

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_That was it. A little weird chapter but I hope that it turned out okay. _

_Please review! I'd love to hear what you thought about the names!_


	19. How are things gonna change?

_Hey! I was actually gonna wait longer before I put this chapter up but I just had to post a SS story. There hasn't been many updates lately. _

_Enjoy!_

_A Heart's Desire _

How are things gonna change? 

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It was a late Sunday night, a night where the temperature was too high, the air stifling. The warmth from the sun hadn't gone away, it was lingering and the degrees wouldn't fall enough during the night; the sun would rise and the heat would again fill a new day.

During this heat sleep was something you barely were allowed to do. The sheets would stick to your body and to find a comfortable sleeping position was impossible. Even if the air conditioner was working perfectly you weren't able to get the temperature you wanted.

Seth and Summer lay in bed with no clothes on though it would be too hot. The clock on the bedside table was showing 01.46 and normally that would be a time where they both were asleep.

With an angry force Summer hit Seth's pillow, slamming her fist down just far enough from Seth's face.

"Jesus, Summer! You could have given me a black eye." Seth said and sat up, slightly annoyed at his wife for disturbing him once he finally was being comfortable and about to fall asleep.

"Sorry." Summer sat up as well, taking the sheet with her to cover her body. "I'm just so tired." she explained.

"I know you are and so am I. This heat is killing me." Summer nodded in agreement and got up from their bed, dropping the sheet, walking towards the bathroom. "Where are you going?" Seth asked.

"I'm gonna take a bath. There is no way that I'm staying in that bed. Who knows? Maybe I'll fall asleep in the tub. At least it's not as hot sitting in water." she said as she closed the door and Seth could hear the water start to run.

Being worried that she actually would fall asleep in there Seth fallowed his wife having decided to join her. He would never forgive himself if he would wake up in the morning finding Summer dead in the bath tub. And he wasn't getting any sleep anyway so he could as well do something.

"So, I see that you thought that my idea was a good one." Summer pointed out as Seth entered the bathroom. Summer was already sitting in the tub, the water slowly making its way further up.

Seth shrugged. "Well, I had nothing better to do." Summer nodded and gestured for him to come sit with her. "Woah! This water isn't cold at all." Seth commented as he sat down in water cold like the ocean in winter. Well, almost.

Summer glared at him, not wanting to reply to his sarcasm. The look she gave him gave him answer enough.

"Okay. We are in the middle of the heat." He nodded as if he was agreeing to something. And he was...in a way.

"We should go somewhere." Seth said out of the blue after a while of just sitting there.

Summer frowned and turned her head to look at him. "Go somewhere?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah. Just you and me." He gently tucked her hair away from her neck and leaned over her shoulder. "Before the baby arrives we should spend some time just the two of us."

"We're together every day." Summer pointed out but smiled.

"I know. But I work and I want to take you somewhere where we don't have to worry about anything or think about anything. It was a long time ago we did that."

"It was." Summer agreed and tried to think of the last time they went on vacation together. "Last time we went to Venice and that was almost a year ago." She uttered the last words with sadness, not able to believe that it had been a whole year.

Seth placed a kiss on her cheek. "Too long ago. After we're done with the nursery we should go."

"We should." Summer agreed, moving to sit in his lap and placing a tender kiss, happy that he was the one coming with an idea like this.

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"Summer, this is just adorable." Kirsten was holding a tiny baby outfit. She and Summer were placing the baby's clothes in the closet. There were tons of clothes, both boy clothes and girl clothes, making it difficult to wait any longer before using them. But Summer had a couple of weeks more to go; she wasn't even in her last month.

Summer couldn't agree more to Kirsten's words. That little outfit was so cute; maybe it was the cutest one she'd ever seen. But then again, Summer felt like that every time she saw baby clothes. It was a shame that they might not get to use it. "I know. It's too bad that we won't even get to use them all."

"I think that it's a great thing to make it a surprise, Summer. I didn't know Seth was a boy until I had him and I loved the not knowing part of the pregnancy." Kirsten said, having noticed the doubt in Summer's voice.

Summer brightened up. "You did? Because I really want it that way but Seth...well, he wants to know."

"Had you expected anything else, Summer? It's Seth we're talking about. He's the most curious person I know and he has no patience."

Summer smiled, happy to hear that she was doing the right thing from the woman she looked up to the most. Kirsten Cohen's advice and wise comments were always worth listening to. Summer giggled as she thought of how right Kirsten was; Seth could be such a baby sometimes. "Except when it comes to me."

"Yes. Except that," he blonde agreed. "Seth has never been able to say no to you; he'll always let you have things your way. That's a big plus for you."

"I know." Summer said and turned her gaze to look at Seth. He was painting the wall, not happy having it just yellow. She guessed that he wanted some comic person there, someone like Superman or Batman.

Summer had a long time ago learned not to care about her husband's clear interest in comics. She'd let it come between them in high school but she wouldn't let it happen again. In the end she had to accept his 'hobby' even if she wasn't too happy about it. Comics brought up bad memories, such as the time when she'd treated Seth like shit. Every time Summer thought about that she felt the guilt return and she immediately had to go and tell Seth that she loved him, even if he already knew.

"Cohen! What are you doing?" Summer asked as she passed the room to stand next to him, leaving Kirsten with the clothes.

Seth stood with a brush in his hand and had tons of paint all around him. "I have paper on the floor and I promise not to spill."

"I can see that." Summer said and was actually proud of him; he was doing it all right. "Now, what are you painting?" she asked while leaning against his side.

Seth seemed to be surprised that she wasn't angry at him. He hadn't asked. "I just wanted our baby to have the best." he apologized.

"I know and I think it's great that you're doing something special." Summer softly said and studied the painting, or what would become a painting. Now you couldn't really see what it was. Summer frowned.

"I'm making a horse." Seth said after having watched Summer trying to figure out what it was. "It's not finished yet."

"I see that." Summer giggled. "A horse, huh?"

"Yeah. Well, I'm gonna have some background as well but I though a horse would be a good thing." he explained. "You don't like it?"

"Seth? Are you kidding me? Of course I like it. Captain Oats, Princess Sparkle." Summer said happily, glad that he chose to have something with meaning in their baby's room instead of some comic thing.

Seth smiled, happy about himself. "You got the point."

"Of course I did." Summer finally leaned in for a kiss, a kiss Seth quickly deepened. He carefully held the brush in his left hand, afraid of getting Summer's clothes dirty, while his other hand was resting on Summer's shoulder. "Your mom's here, Cohen." Summer was able to say in between kisses.

"Not anymore." Summer looked around and realised that Seth was right. No one was there, not Kirsten and not Sandy.

"You're right," she said and wrapped her arms round his neck, capturing his lips with hers. Seth had been able to put the brush down and was now walking them away from the paint, never breaking their kiss.

Seth gently pulled Summer's loose blouse away from her left shoulder and began to trace kisses along her collarbone and neck. "Seth..." Summer whined, knowing that they couldn't keep doing this while his parents were at their home. Seth silenced her though by kissing her on the mouth again.

"Seth, your parents," Summer said, breaking the kiss. She smiled apologetically and gave him a peck on his lips before replacing her blouse.

Seth just leaned his head onto her shoulder, sighing into her hair. "Summer," he whined, upset that she always had to be so perfect around his parents.

"Cohen, you wouldn't want to have sex in the same house your parents are in." Summer told him, she disapponted as well.

"We've done it before." Seth tried.

"Yeah, but that was their house. Totally different."

"I really wanna get out of here." Seth said and kissed her one finale time before she exited the room.

"You coming?"

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Seth sat in his office after having finished all the work he had to do before their vacation. Seth was thrilled about this baby but he had no idea how he and Summer would handle not being able to just be with each other. For such a long time it had just been the two of them and their issues had been attached around work and them not spending as much time together as they should.

Now it would only get harder.

A baby would maybe bring them closer together but it could also tear them apart. It could make them fight even more than they already did and a baby would take all their time. How would they be able to handle things?

He had booked the tickets; they were going to a place he knew that Summer would love. There would be no problems and no one who could interrupt them. They needed this time to prepare and some quality time was well needed. You could think that a couple that had lived together for such a long time would be ready to let the attention fall on a baby. But you could never get used to the feeling, the thought, of not being able to spend all of your free time together.

Nothing scared Seth more than this baby. But nothing made him as happy as knowing that he would have a child with Summer.

Seth packed his things and said goodbye to the building; he wouldn't come back there for some time now. He had made sure that his work wouldn't be in the way. The coming weeks would be the last he and Summer would have together alone and nothing was going to lie in the way.

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_This wasn't my best chapter at all. I don't really like it myself. But hopefully my next chapter is gonna be better. _

_I wanna say thanks to the ones that reviewed the last chapter:_

_Luke, ososxcseth, minicoopintraining, kursk, Jaded-Amava, purplesha, Jdancer189, Coheny, kalexgurl, spiffykay, psparkle7189, Rebecca and gersbabe88. _

_Thank you!_

_Please review!_


	20. This good

_Hi People! Huge thanks for the reviews!_

_Here is the next chapter. I might need to warn sensitive readers but that's all I'll say.._

_A Heart's Desire _

This good 

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"Are we there soon?" Summer asked for what seemed like thetwentieth time.

Seth couldn't help but smile though. He was really excited about this surprise and he loved to see Summer excited. That was what she was; excited.

"Patience, Summer." Seth smiled.

Summer couldn't help but giggle. "I wanna find out where we're going."

"Really?" Summer slapped him playfully on his arm. "We're there soon." Seth brought Summer's hand up to his mouth and kissed it before replacing it in her lap, still holding it, caressing her knuckles lovingly.

That seemed to be an answer enough to Summer because she became silent, just sitting there holding her husband's hand and smiling.

About ten minutes later a cottage was revealed behind some trees. Summer gasped when she could see the whole area. She could see the blue sky and the sun glittering on the water in the small lake. Was this paradise?

"So?" Seth asked a little nervous. "What do you think?" Summer answered by stepping out of the car and walking up the steps to the house.

"You brought the keys, right?" she turned around and said, her hair flowing in the summer breeze. A huge smile was on her face and her eyes sparkled in that way Seth loved. He ran the few steps she'd taken and placed the keys in her hand.

To Seth's surprise Summer didn't say anything, she just took his hand in hers and walked up the steps that were left to the cottage.

The look on Summer's face as they stepped into the house said more than words ever could. "I take this that you like it?" Seth laughed, watching the grin on Summer's face turn into laughter as well.

"I love it!" Summer exclaimed and flung her arms round his neck. "It's perfect, Seth."

"I knew you'd like it."

"I do."

The two of them walked through the house and out to the porch where a breathtaking view caught their eyes. The water was so still and there weren't anything to be seen but nature. No sounds were to be heard, everything was quiet and peaceful. It was as if they'd travelled to another part of the world where nothing else existed but the two of them and the environment surrounding them.

The rest of the house was just as perfect. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom, a cosy kitchen and a big room with a fire place, TV and couches.

"Cohen, this is amazing. How did you find this place?"

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth was in the kitchen, preparing some dinner while Summer was in the shower. He couldn't stop thinking about how perfect things was. Could they be more happy?

Lately Seth had been thinking a lot of their relationship and the baby. He was so afraid but he couldn't talk to Summer about it. She would just take it the wrong way and think that he didn't want to have a baby. And with his past, the way he'd been acting in the beginning of her pregnancy, he couldn't risk anything.

Every day it hit Seth how much he really loved Summer, how much she completed in his life. Now, he had always dreamt about having a family with her, but he was still allowed to get scared, right? Get 'cold feet'.

He wasn't afraid of them not having enough of love because he knew that love would never be a problem for them. What he was afraid of was if love would be enough.

Would they still be able to make passionate love? Would they still be able to have their morning rituals? Would Summer still stop by his office now and then to have lunch together?

As Seth felt the panic rise inside of him Summer appeared in a robe, her hair dark and curly from the water.

"I thought I'd see how you're doing," she said and walked over, giving him a what should have been a quick hug. Seth though, took this opportunity to embrace her and buried his face into her hair. His worry didn't disappear but Summer's closeness made him calm down a little.

"Hey ," Summer started and pulled away slightly. "What's wrong, baby?"

She gazed into his eyes and Seth felt even more torn. Why did he feel like this?

Summer searched his face, gently holding his chin. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah,"

Bringing him back into her arms she kissed him on the cheek. "Whatever it is, I'm always here."

"I know," Seth whispered back into her hair and pulled her as close to him as he possibly could. She was amazing.

Stepping away from their embrace, Summer pecked his lips and smiled. "I should go get dressed."

"Yeah," Seth returned to the cooking as Summer disappeared into their bedroom. He couldn't tell her about his 'problem'. Not when she was this happy, when they were this happy.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Later that night the two of them were in bed, naked. Seth had completely pushed his thoughts aside and was again just happy that they were so good. He was playing with Summer's hair as she had her head resting on his arm, feeling perfectly relaxed after an hour in this bed.

Summer was fumbling with her ring, something she sometimes did. That ring was her dearest possession.

Flashback

Seth carefully placed Summer on the bed, being aware of the fact that she'd never forgive him if he ruined her dress. Even if this was the only day she would wear it, it was going to be saved as a memory and it therefore had to stay perfect.

Climbing on top of her, Seth captured her lips with his own in a soundly kiss. Summer quickly deepened it and almost too roughly brought him down so that he was resting on her smaller body. Entangling their tongues felt so much better on this day than it ever had before and it felt as if they'd never be able to leave each other again, if it only was for a second.

Seeing as Summer's dress took up most of the bed, she knew that it had to go first. So as Seth's hands roamed her body while he still had his lips attached to hers, Summer abruptly sat up.

"What?" Seth laughed , caressing her bare arms.

"Help me get out of this," she wined and made a gesture to her dress, realising that it wasn't as easy to get a wedding dress off in a hurry as a shirt and jeans.

Seth gently began to kiss her collarbone and jaw, knowing what that did to her, while his hands found the zipper. The way he slowly unzipped her dress and continued to kiss her neckline made Summer moan loudly. The way his fingers so carefully made contact to her newly exposed skin and the way his soft lips and warm tongue kissed her sensitive area sent Summer to a place just like heaven.

She'd never feel this vulnerable underneath somebody's touch, she'd never feel so loved either. Because that was what these tender moments did to her; they filled her with love.

"Seth," Summer moaned as she could feel his hands on her back, the zipper completly down. Smiling and moving his mouth to her face Seth helped her out of the dress, leaving Summer in just the lingerie. She'd carefully picked it out, hoping to amuse Seth. And by the look on his face she had succeeded.

He stared at her with so much admiration, reassuring Summer that he was very pleased. The lingerie, white of course and with lots of lace, hugged her curves perfectly. In Seth's eyes she couldn't be any more perfect. He smiled at the fact that she'd picked boy shorts instead of a thong, knowing what he preferred.

"You're so beautiful." Seth said before taking her into his arms, throwing his jacket away. His hot lips met hers again in a kiss that was so intense Summer couldn't think of anything. It was as if her head went blank for a second, only able to let her feel that kiss. Loving his lips and never wanting to part Summer swirled her tongue together with Seth's in a way she only did at times when she was very eager to go further. Fortunately Seth recognized that sign and while still wanting to take things slow and enjoy this night, he knew a way to give Summer what she wanted but still not go too fast forward.

Summer gasped as she felt Seth's hand seek its way up her thigh. She broke the kiss and immediately felt Seth's mouth make contact with her chest.

The enormous arousal couldn't be explained by anything else than the fact that she was doing this with her husband. Her husband! Smiling brightly, Summer helped Seth to take her bra off and a second later she felt him pulling the fabric of her underwear away.

Inhaling deeply Summer tried not to cry out of joy and pleasure as she felt his fingers against her most sensitive parts while his mouth found an erect nipple to play with. Seth knew her body so well. He knew that she never was one to take things slow; she wasn't that patient. Therefore she loved how he gave her this now; later she would be able to make the best of this night.

Seth kept stroking her insides and as Summer just wanted more of him she quickly pulled her underwear off, so that they wouldn't be in the way for Seth as he did _this_ to her.

"God, Seth." Summer moaned as Seth continued to suck on her nipple, only his teeth was now helping to drive Summer over the edge. Her breathing was possibly harder than ever before and everything in the room felt like a hundred degrees. Everything was just so...hot and such a...turn on. Having Seth's mouth travelling down her body to stop at her abdomnen for sure didn't reduce her arousal.

As Seth's tongue met her clit Summer couldn't control herself. She cried out and tried not to move too much. Before inhaling deeply her fists found Seth's hair and she roughly squeezed her hands shut around his curls and she guided him closer to her.

She could feel him smiling against her as he continued to please her, touching her in all the right places and at the right ways.

End of Flashback

"What are you thinking of?" Seth interrupted her dreaming and took Summer's hands in his, stopping her fumbling with the ring.

Summer smiled and turned to face him. "I was thinking of our wedding night," she softly said.

"Yeah?" Seth smirked, knowing that that was a very good memory.

"Yeah." Summer told him and then got a very serious look on her face. "You know that I love you, right?"

Seth nodded, slightly confused. "Of course. I love you, too."

"And we can tell each other everything," she continued.

"Yeah. We tell each other everything." Seth repeated. What was this coming from?

"Then why won't you tell me what's bothering you?"Summer finally asked. Seth tried to look confused but he knew that she could see right through him. "Whatever it is I want to know. I know that it's something."

"Summer," Seth started, unsure of how to get around this. "I always tell you things. And I promise you that everything's fine. Perfect even." He placed his hand on her cheek and gently rubbed it.

"Okay then," Summer sighed and snuggled closer to his body. "I won't push you."

Seth was about to say something but as she closed her eyes and placed his arm over her waist he knew that there was nothing to say.

"Night, love." he whispered into her ear and closed his eyes as well.

"Night." Summer whispered back. "But I still don't believe you."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_So, what did you guys think? Please let me know. _

_This chapter was so much fun writing and I hope that you liked it._

_Please review!_


	21. What's happening?

_Thank you so much for the reviews! I really love and appriciate them so much._

_This chapter took me forever to write. I've had this planned for several months, so even if it seems very unplanned it isn't. _

_A Heart's Desire_

What's happening? 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"So, Cohen. Is this what you like so much about the water?"

Seth looked out at the lake and nodded. "Yeah, it is." Everything was still and quiet and the nature around were amazing.

"Well, I get it."

"You do?" Seth asked and turned to look at her where she sat. Summer had never been an ocean person or a boat person either.

She nodded. "Yeah. I love it." she said sincerely and gazed out over the surroundings. "We should go here more often."

"Yeah?" Seth asked happily. "You'd want that?"

"I would."

"Great." Seth smiled. He knew that she would find this place better than the ocean where the wind was stronger but he'd never expected her to love it.

"But," Summer started. "We should head back. I really have to pee."

Seth laughed as he saw the apologetically look on her face. "Sure, babe. If you have to pee..."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth dialled the number for the third time, hoping to finally get some answer. All he heard was empty tones in his ear though. Ryan wasn't picking up.

He needed to tell someone, he needed to talk.

Standing on the beach, just where the boat was and most importantly alone, he was hoping to get this awful feeling out. He couldn't face Summer and not want to slap himself. He was that horrible.

How could he complain at things when he had everything perfect? His life was just as he'd dreamt of it to be like and he knew deep down that this was what he wanted. Therefore he couldn't understand where this was coming from. Couldn't he just be happy about how great things were and enjoy this time together with Summer, his beautiful wife?

The answer was no. Being Seth Cohen and everything that came with it, it was impossible not to screw things up just when everything was perfect and he should do everything in his power to keep things that way.

Seth had, from the moment Summer walked into his life, needed someone to talk to. The first couple of years Captain Oats had been the listener but as Ryan came along Seth had realised that Oats wasn't much of an advice giver. Captain Oats was great talking to about how gorgeous Summer was or how much he loved her. But when it came to the action and to compensate his mistakes, he needed a real person. And since his problems always included Summer and something he'd done wrong, someone else was needed.

Someone like Ryan Atwood.

And now, he wasn't answering his phone. Just when Seth needed him the most.

Seth had told Summer that he'd take a walk while she took a nap. He hated to lie and he hated not being able to talk her. Especially as she knew that there was something he wasn't telling her.

He knew that he couldn't go back there just yet. So, he settled down on the bridge and again dialled Ryan's number.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Cohen?"

Summer had woken up by the sound of the wind blowing outside. It was getting dark and she could hear the rain against the windows.

"Seth? Why didn't you wake me up?"

She walked into the living room and was immediately met by the cool air. The window was open and the rain was pouring inside. Where the hell was he?

Quickly closing the window and making her way into the kitchen, Summer was surprised to find it empty as well. "Come on, Cohen. Now's not the time."

As she got no reply Summer started to worry. "Where the hell are you?" she almost yelled into the house and jumped as she heard the thunder outside. She hated storms.

And where had it come from? It had been a sunny day with no sign of any clouds on the sky. She figured that she must have slept for a while.

Seth knew how much she hated weather like this and he knew that what she hated more was being alone while storming outside. "Cohen. This isn't funny." she said in a lot weaker voice, talking out loud as to make things better, almost as if she was pretending that he stood right next to her.

Where had he gone? He couldn't be outside in this weather. Right before she fell asleep he'd told her that he wouldn't be long. And Seth wasn't a fan of storms either, at least not being in the middle of it. Who was?

This wasn't like him. He never went somewhere without telling her and he certainly didn't leave her alone at a time like this.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

What was this noise? And why was he wet?

Seth opened his eyes and realised that he still was in the boat, where he'd lied down to think. He must have fallen asleep.

Opening the roof Seth was met by what seemed to be an entire river. The rain was pouring down from the black sky.

"Shit!" Seth quickly got up as he remembered Summer. He must have been out here for hours. "She's gonna kill me."

He jogged the way up to the house and was, if it was possible, even more wet as he got to the door.

"Summer!" he yelled into the house, not caring that he probably was creating pools of water on the floor. "Sum!"

Figuring she would be in the bedroom Seth made his way there. He was right.

Summer was sitting on the bed, holding the sheets up to her chin. "Where the hell were you?"

"God, Summer. I am so sorry." Seth apologized and walked over to her. "I fell asleep in the boat."

"I woke up and you weren't here." Seth just nodded and looked into her tearful eyes. He was about to say something or do something when she pushed him away. "You're soaking. Go change your clothes."

Seth realised that he was freezing and probably getting sick by staying in those clothes so he followed her orders. "I'll be right back."

As Seth was gone Summer leaned back against the pillows with a loud sigh. She was glad that Seth was back; she'd been so worried and scared for him that her stomach had started to hurt.

Summer was so concentrated in listening to the storm outside that she didn't notice Seth entering the room again. Not until he sat down beside her. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, but I really don't like this."

"I know, baby. I'm here though, and nothing's going to happen to you." Seth told her and kissed her temple, bringing her into his arms glad that she wasn't freaking out on him.

"Where were you?"

Seth thought about what he should tell her but decided to just say the truth. "I was down in the boat."

"Why?"

"Because I needed to think and you know that I like the water. It makes everything clearer, usually."

Summer made an 'okay' sound and nodded. "So, did it work?"

"I feel better now."

Summer snuggled closer to him as the thunder outside was getting worse. "I'm glad."

Seth replied by placing a lingering kiss on top of her head.

"Do you think we should go out to the car?" Summer asked, looking her most innocent.

Seth would normally laugh but knowing how much Summer hated storms he didn't. "I think we're safe in here."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth woke up by the sound of Summer tossing and turning. He quickly leaned over on his side to see Summer's back turned against him. "Honey, what's wrong?" Seth gently asked and tucked some of her hair behind one ear. "Are you alright?"

Summer had made a tiny moan sound and was squeezing her eyes shut. "No," she whispered, almost not able to be heard as a sob escaped at the very same moment.

"Summer? Everything's okay. The weather's not gonna kill you." Seth knew that this probably was because of her fear of storm and therefore hugged her close to his body, in hope to make her feel safe.

"It's not the storm, Seth." Summer cried.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not okay."

Seth frowned, being terribly confused. "What's wrong then?" he asked, worried about what was causing the tears.

Sniffling a little, Summer turned over and met Seth's eyes with her teary ones. "It's my stomach. It hurts."

"What?" Seth gasped as if he didn't believe her. But then he got really worried and tried to talk to her in a more gently tone. "Where does it hurt, sweetie?"

"In here." Summer whispered as her hands rested on her lower stomach.

Being over protective by nature when it came to Summer, Seth quickly decided that staying here wasn't an option. He had no idea how serious it was or anything but just to be safe he knew where they had to go. "We have to go to the hospital then."

Summer shook her head as she tried not to show her pain. Therefore she smiled at him, in hope to reassure him that she was fine. There was just no way she'd want to go out in this weather. " Seth, it's probably nothing. It feels like a normal stomach ache, just a little bit worse."

She wasn't sure that Seth would buy her act but he seemed to get it as he told her okay and gently started to rub her stomach.

Summer couldn't hold back a moan after a few seconds though. She pushed Seth's hands away and rolled into a fetal position. "Okay, Sum. This is not a regular stomach ache and we do not want to risk anything." Seth told her very determined; he couldn't let her stay here when she was in this much pain.

Seth was right, she knew that. But something with all this was so scary that even going to the hospital couldn't make things better. So, she nodded a little uncertain and was able to smile as he placed a thankful kiss on her nose.

"I'll go start the car. Will you be okay for a while?"

"Of course. I'll pack a few things." Summer told him, but then realised that she wouldn't be able to do that. She'd much rather stay in the bed. Just the thought of stepping up made the pain ten times worse.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Um, Summer?" Seth started a little uncertain.

She was still in bed and was by now in a lot more pain, having her eyes squeezed shut and her fists attached to the sheet. "What?" she asked and you could tell that she didn't want to talk. It was as if she was forcing the word to come out.

"The car won't start." Summer opened her eyes with a flash. "But, everything's gonna be just fine. We'll call an ambulance instead. It would take longer for us with the car anyway."

"Then call!" Summer almost yelled and made Seth realise, if he hadn't already, that this was serious.

Stuttering slightly Seth spoke. "Okay, let me just get my phone."

"You have to call someone, Seth. What if something happens to the baby?" Summer said, worried. She was by now not at all worried about the weather; she knew that there was no way that she would be a stubborn little child when this could be about _her_ child.

"It's gonna be okay, sweetie. But I'll call." Seth told her, trying to be as calm as possible.

"Call then Seth!" Summer screamed as she felt the pain get too much for her.

Seth looked like he wanted to cry. "I can't."

"Of course you can." she snapped, angry that he couldn't do something fast.

Seth felt horrible. He knew that he wasn't doing so well but he wasn't good with these kinds of things. "I forgot the phone in the boat."

Summer frowned and met his eyes with a look that almost killed him right there. "You're such an idiot! I told you we should have brought mine as well."

He knew that she was frustrated because of her pain; she always got angry at him when she needed him to do something and he couldn't manage to do it fast enough. Her patience wasn't the best. "I know, but I didn't want you to have to answer any calls."

Summer sighed. "Forget it."

"Listen, I'm gonna run down there and get it." Seth was desperately trying to make things better for her. And he knew that he had to get that phone.

"No, don't you dare leave me here again." Summer threatened, her voice being in a mixture of anger and fear. "What if something happens?"

"Summer, we have to call the ambulance."

"Please do not leave me here." Summer pleaded, the tears watering her eyes again.

Seeing the devastated look on her face, Seth really wanted to cry. But he had to make that call. "I don't want to baby. But we can't stay here."

"I know," she whispered and buried her head in Seth's arm.

He kissed her forehead and gave her a reassuring smile. "I'll be right back. Pinkie swear."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_I didn't want to stop here but as always I have to stop somewhere. _

_Please leave a review! They make my day._


	22. Change

_This took a while, I know. But it was so hard to write and I am not sure how long I want to take this story. _

_Enjoy!_

_A Heart's Desire_

Change

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Why did this have to happen? His phone was nowhere to be seen in the mess on the boat. He'd thrown things everywhere and everything was soaking.

The roof was taken down in a rush, so it was lying in a mess in a corner while everything else on the boat was getting covered in water. Papers and life jackets along with pillows and candles were thrown everywhere; some things for sure had been thrown in the water as well.

The stress made his hands shake; he had to find it. It was his fault that Summer was stuck here and he'd never forgive himself if anything happened to either Summer or the baby.

Just as he thought about running back to Summer, who probably was hysterical by the way, he found his cell. Under a note book.

"Thank God," he said and kissed it. Then, as quickly as he possibly could, he ran back to the house. It was still pouring but why should he care? He just ran as fast as he could the way up to the house, he didn't even care about the mud.

Seth had expected Summer to be upset, but not like this. She was crying and as soon as she saw him she just gestured for him to come.

"I was as fast as I could," Seth started breathing heavily and let her see the phone. She just nodded and hugged his arm close to her, not wanting him to leave her side again.

"Please call."

Seth knew that she was dead serious; she didn't even scream at him. She was just so…terrified. He could tell by the look on her face. So, without even questioning, he dialled 911.

"Yeah, hi. I need an ambulance. Really quickly," he said into the phone and took Summer's hand in his. "My wife is pregnant and she's in a lot of pain."

He told the address and felt Summer tuck on his shirt.

"Tell them that I'm having the baby," she whispered.

Seth frowned. "You're not having the baby yet, honey. There's several weeks left."

"I am, Seth." Summer calmly said, though he could feel how scared she was. "My water broke when you were out."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Seth asked, panicking.

Why was this happening?

Realising that he still had the phone in his hand Seth explained Summer's condition and then quickly hung up, as to be able to give Summer his full attention.

"Okay, baby. They said that we should try to keep it in until they come." Seth told her and sat down closer to her, kissing her head.

"I'll try." Summer whispered and squeezed her husband's hand. Neither of them understood how this could be happening, or why.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Cohen," Summer started with a pretty strong voice. He could hear her breathing fast and to judge by the last minutes of moans and cries, he wasn't surprised of what she told him next. "I really can't do this anymore."

Seth felt horrible for having to say that she would have to but what choice did he have? It wasn't like there was any other option. "Summer, just a little bit longer. The doctors will be here soon."

"No, you don't get it. It's coming." Summer cried and Seth felt her starting to panic in his arms.

He comfortingly stroked her hair back and rocked her. "Do it for me," he tried.

She just shook her head and buried it in his arm again. It was heartbreaking.

"Seth," Summer was by now breathing really heavy and she was starting to tense. "The baby's really coming. I can't hold it back."

Seth shook his head. "No, Sum. You have to hold it in. Just a little longer."

"Seth, you really have to do something. Make them come here now." Summer was crying with more force now, begging him to help her through this.

Seth was desperately trying to think of something to do. He didn't know anything about this. "I can't, sweetie. They're coming as soon as they can," he said gently, trying to be calm and strong. He noticed how she tensed. "Are you feeling alright?"

Summer shook her head no. "The baby is coming Seth. Do something."

Seth saw the panic in her eyes and swallowed. He really would have to do something.

"Are you okay? Summer," he asked as Summer squeezed her eyes closed and held her breath. He'd never been this scared in his whole life.

"It's coming, Seth. I feel it coming," Summer cried, almost in hysterics.

"Everything's gonna be just fine," Seth tried to calm her down by stroking her hair and hopefully make her forget some about the pain she was in.

But Summer couldn't forget or calm down. The baby was coming. As she realised that this was it, panic welled up in her eyes. "Cohen! They have to hurry. Tell them that we can't to this on our own. Where are they?"

"They'll be here soon, baby." Seth told her and tried to ignore the fact that she was crying. He hated that he was so helpless.

"Seth! It's coming," Summer screaming, crying freely. God, how the hell was he supposed to help her? Right now, Seth just wanted to be at home, near a hospital. But he knew that Summer needed him to be strong; she needed him more than ever before.

Seth didn't know what else to do; so he said the words he'd already told her what felt like a hundred times. "Try to hold it back just a little more."

"I can't!" Summer cried, devastated. Seth saw how she fought and tried and he knew that he wouldn't be able to torture her like this. This was so much worse for her.

"Okay," Seth said, realising that he would have to make things alright for her and seeing the pain she was in he had to do something now. "Let's take these off."

He took Summer's pants and underwear off with no help from his wife at all. She just cried and held her legs as tightly together as she could.

Seth managed to take her clothes off though and saw that she was right; the baby was coming. And stopping it would not be easy. Not with a devastated Summer.

Terrified of what was gonna happen next, Seth spoke. "Okay, Summer. The baby's coming."

Summer immediately cried harder as if she only believed it when he said it. "It's too early Seth! And I can't have the baby here. We're gonna die, Seth."

"You're not gonna die, sweetie. You're gonna have the baby and everything's gonna be okay," Seth shushed her.

"Seth," Summer spoke in an exhausted voice, swallowing. "I can't hold it any longer."

"Summer, let me get some towels. Just in case." Seth said and hurried away to the bathroom before anything would happen. If was best to be prepared, just in case.

"Seth! Seth!" Summer yelled, crying out of pain but mostly fear.

"I'm back, Sum. I'm here." Seth said, rushing back to her side with some towels, and took her hand which she squeezed.

"Our baby is about to get born." Summer said, leaning her head to his hand and Seth could actually see how she let go.

"Sum?" Seth quickly looked down and saw the baby coming out. "Oh my God." He'd never seen anything like that. Was he going to faint?

"Cohen?" Summer asked worriedly, lifting her head as to see what was going on. "Cohen, I can't hold it back" she sobbed; almost apologizing for what was happening and looking at him with pleading eyes.

Seth tried to give her a reassuring smile but the truth was that he was just as scared. "It's okay, babe. We can do this together." Seth had no idea what he was saying and he had no idea how to deliver a baby, a too early coming baby in specific.

Without any sound but Summer's soft crying Seth saw the baby come out. How did this go so fast?

A baby's cry was heard in the house and as Seth lay the baby down in a towel he couldn't help but smile. Worry immediately filled him as he actually realised that this was his baby.

"Seth?" Summer asked from her spot on the floor, hearing their baby's cries but not being able to see it.

He was sure that the crying was a good thing and as he cleaned his baby with a towel, he couldn't see anything being wrong.

"Cohen," Summer cried and Seth suddenly saw that he still had their baby in his arms.

"We have a daughter, Sum," he smiled and placed their girl on Summer's chest. She was wrapped in a white towel and was crying, or more screaming.

Summer was in awe; this baby was the tiniest she'd ever seen and the most beautiful. "She's perfect," Summer whispered and brought her girl closer to her, gently stroking her tiny arm.

"I know," Seth kissed his wife's forehead and then the baby's head. Lightly stroking their daughter's chin he asked, "What's her name?"

"I can decide?" Summer asked, trying to stop the tears that kept trailing down her cheeks.

Seth nodded. "Having carried her all this time you deserve to be the one giving her a name."

"Leah," Summer whispered. "Her name's Leah."

"It fits her," Seth said and leaned in closer to his girls. Leah had by now stopped crying and was hugging the fabric of the towel in her hand.

"Are you alright?" Seth asked, turning his head away from the baby to look at Summer.

"I'm fine. How about you?" Summer smiled, the tears making her face gleam.

"Me? I'm perfect seeing as you two are."

"Is she?" Summer asked. "Is she okay?"

Seth studied his daughter, who had closed her eyes and was slurring peacefully on top of his wife. She was breathing and okay.

"Leah's fine."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Just a few minutes later, the ambulance arrived. They apologized for not coming sooner though the weather had been difficult to see in.

Leah was immediately taken from Seth and Summer; she was in desperate need for some examinations. The doctors seemed to be very worried about her being born without anyone knowledgeable being there and too early.

Summer was also surrounded by people asking millions of questions and they quickly placed her on a stretcher and took her out to the ambulance where Leah already had been taken.

Someone quickly told Seth that he had to come to and that they had to go now, before the roads got any worse.

And now here they were, Summer in a hospital bed and Leah surrounded by nurses.

And in the middle of it all was Seth. Slightly confused about what everybody talked about and stressed about all the calls he had to make, all the doctors he had to meet and all the calming words he had to say to his wife. She was so worried about Leah and couldn't stop checking on her, or more specifically; making Seth go check on her.

The doctors wouldn't allow Summer to hold their newborn and neither was Seth as Leah had to be in a incubator.

Finally, when Summer was asleep Seth was allowed to walk outside the dramatic ward. It was still raining outside although not as badly as before, and not as badly as at the lake house.

"Seth!" his mother's voice took him back to all the responsibilities. He'd forgotten that they were coming and probably wanted some news.

"Hi," he quietly said as they all appeared; his parents, Ryan. He even saw Marissa and Summer's father.

"Where are Summer and the baby?" Marissa asked, in a mixture of excitement and worry.

Seth pointed down the hallway. "They're in the room over there. Sleeping, though I think you can go inside."

"And how's the baby? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A girl. Her name's Leah."

"Aw," Kirsten and Marissa said in unison. They then rushed towards the room along with Neil and Ryan, who gave Seth two happy faces.

"Aren't you gonna go see them?" Seth asked as he was left with his father, who looked rather worried.

"I thought I'd stay here with you."

"Oh, okay," Seth shrugged.

Then Sandy asked him the question that he knew he wouldn't be strong enough to answer. "How are you?"

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_Please let me know your thoughts! _

_And I'd really like to know if you want me to go longer with this story. Of course there are a few chapters left at least. But I'm thinking of ending it soon. _

_Review!_


	23. The Aftermath

_Finally, a new chapter. Enjoy!_

_A Heart's Desire _

The Aftermath 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

_"And how's the baby? Is it a boy or a girl?" _

_"A girl. Her name's Leah." _

_"Aw," Kirsten and Marissa said in unison. They then rushed towards the room along with Neil and Ryan, who gave Seth two happy faces. _

_"Aren't you gonna go see them?" Seth asked as he was left with his father, who looked rather worried. _

_"I thought I'd stay here with you." _

_"Oh, okay," Seth shrugged. _

_Then Sandy asked him the question that he knew he wouldn't be strong enough to answer. "How are you?" _

Seth looked at his father, into those eyes he'd always thought were the most truthful in the entire world. From when he'd been a little boy Seth had come to his father with his problems and he'd always got the best and most honest advice.

Sandy kept their eye contact and with a reassuring pat on Seth's shoulder he gestured for him to sit down.

"How are you coping, son?" Sandy asked as they sat in a small sofa, Seth with his head in his hands.

Shaking his head, Seth took a deep breath. "I'm just overwhelmed," he said, his voice breaking.

"That's to be expected. You just had a daughter, and under difficult circomstances."

"I've never been that scared in my whole life. Summer was in so much pain and I didn't know what to do," Sandy nodded, not interrupting as he understood that his son needed to get this out. "Everything's going so fast. I don't even have the time to really absorb what's happening."

Seth didn't realise that he was crying but as he felt a tear run down over his lips he stopped talking, feeling the lump in his throat grow. Breathing out heavily, almost sobbing he felt his father's hand on his arm.

At this moment Seth didn't care that he was twenty five years old. He didn't care that he was in a hospital and he certainly didn't care if anyone saw him. He just let himself cry, not feeling strong enough to hold it in any more.

Sandy pulled his son close to him, holding his shaking body. He hadn't held his son

for many, many years and this brought back memories. Memories of the days when Seth so many times had come home crying from school.

Kirsten and he always tried their best to make him feel better. They'd watch a movie together or go visit Caleb, something Seth always had appreciated.

When Seth was about twelve or thirteen though, he had stopped crying, at least in their arms. He got up to his room or went out on his bout; the Summer Breeze.

Summer. She had so many times been the reason of why Seth was upset. She was the reason of his feelings most of the times, sometimes making him so angry and sometimes annoying him. But what she did the most was making Seth so incredibly happy. And she made him feel important. She loved him.

Sandy could never thank her enough. He had for a long time had to see his son be alone, miserable and angry. And Summer was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. Sure, she was a little scary sometimes and she had him wrapped around her finger. But she was there; always there.

Now something was wrong though. Seth always held himself together, at least in public. He didn't cry like this. He didn't hold his problems inside until the point where it got too much.

After a few minutes when Seth had calmed down, he sat up and wiped away the tears from his face. "Sorry, dad. I got a little emotional," he apologized, obviously embarrassed.

"Don't apologize. Just tell me what's bothering you," Sandy said calmly.

He took a deep breath, not entirely sure what to say. "I'm scared. What if I won't be a good dad? I don't think that I can do this," he confessed looking sad.

"Seth, when I had you I was terrified. I didn't think that I could take care and protect something so small and precious. But I did. Together with your mom I made it."

"But I'm not you. You're like an awesome dad. I'm not."

"I wasn't so awesome in the start, believe me. But we helped each other and learned how to be your parents."

"Was mom scared as well?" Seth carefully asked.

"Yeah, she was so scared and so worried about you all the time. The first days she wouldn't let you be alone for a single minute."

"Do you think that Summer's scared, too?"

"I know she is. No new parent isn't." Sandy reassured his son, knowing that he'd had similar thoughts twenty five years ago.

Seth sniffled and looked up. "Thanks, dad."

"It's what I'm here for, son."

"Yeah." Seth gave his father a hug. "And if I will be half as great dad as you are, I know Leah will be fine."

Sandy smiled. "Now, about Leah. I gotta go meet my granddaughter."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth and Sandy walked into Summer's room finding her chatting with all the visitors.

"Hi! It's good that you're here. Summer wanted to wait for you before we go see Leah," Kirsten said, her excitement impossible to not see.

"I wanted you to be here," Summer told Seth from her spot on the bed. He stepped closer to her and smiled. "Are you alright?" she asked having noticed his puffy eyes, looking concerned.

"Yeah," he reassured her, caressing her arm gently. "But let's talk about that later."

Summer looked a little unsure and as the visitors left the room Seth wrapped his arms around her, rocking her slightly, exhaling deeply. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Summer hugged him tighter, burying her face in his neck, while her concern grew.

"How are you feeling?" Seth asked as he realised that their family had left, probably seeing that the couple needed some time alone.

Summer smiled into his neck. "Good. But how are you? Are you okay?" She sat up, keeping a hold of his hands though.

Seth swallowed unsurely. Should he tell her? Now?

As he looked at her she was so full of concern and love that he had to tell. He didn't want her to worry. "This is just so much, you know?" he started.

"Yeah," Summer softly said and gestured for him to lay down next to her. Seth crawled up to her, carefully lying down close to her. While stroking his hair Summer waited for him to talk.

"For a couple of weeks I've been-" he stopped himself, terrified of saying it out loud.

"You've been what, Seth?" Summer asked, placing her hand that wasn't in his hair on his arm for support. "Sweetie, you can tell me."

"I know." Seth said and fumbled with her hand. "I've been freaking out,"

"About what?"

"I don't know. The baby I guess." Seth took a deep breath. "It's all gone so fast and I'm afraid that I'm not ready."

Summer leaned up on her arm and reached over to see his face, which he'd turned further away from her. "Hey," she said and kissed his cheek. "It's okay."

Seth shook his head. "No, it's not okay. Summer, I do want this. You have to know that. I want this so much." Seth explained, desperate to let her know that he wasn't having any doubts about. That he wouldn't leave her or Leah, ever.

"I know you do. And it is okay, Seth," she said, hugging him close. She let him find the security in her embrace and hide for a few moments before she started talking. "I'm afraid, too."

"Really?" Seth asked, pulling away slightly so that he could see her face.

Summer nodded. "Yes. I'm terrified. I mean, we have no experience with babies and after what happened I'm just not gonna be able to not worry about her for a single second." Summer confessed, bringing him close to her again. "But if everyone else can have babies, we can too. And I know that we're gonna be great. You're gonna be a great dad, Seth."

He pulled some of her hair that had fallen down onto his face away and looked up at her from the where he had his head resting on her chest. "Wow. You're gonna be the best mom, Summer. But I already knew that." Seth reached up and kissed her nose. "Thanks," he said and lay back down.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you," she started, referring to the previous night. "I could never have done it without you, Seth. I was so scared but you helped me get through it. I'm always gonna be grateful for that." Summer snuggled closer to her husband.

Changing their position so that Summer now was in his arms instead of the opposite, Seth spoke. "So you're not upset or anything?"

"No, of course not. I know that everything's gonna be okay and if not we'll deal with it together."

"I love you." Seth smiled and looked down on her, her head resting on his shoulder. "And I love Leah."

"Me too. We should go see her," Summer softly said. "I already miss her."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Leah had her tiny hand around one of Summer's fingers, wiggling a little inside the incubator. She mostly slept but at times during the day, like right now, she would wake up and move as much as she could.

"She looks just like you," Seth said. "Just as tiny and beautiful."

Summer kept her eyes on their daughter, gently stroking Leah's arm. "You're so cheesy, Cohen."

"I know." Summer nodded and smiled as Leah squeezed her finger tighter. "Maybe that's one of the qualities she'll get from me."

"Hopefully not,"

"Well, you do know that she actually aren't gonna be just like you, don't you?"

Summer turned to look at him. "Let's just hope that she'll get your good qualities then."

"And your good, too. You don't want her to have rage blackouts, right?"

"Right. But that's just one thing."

"Major, Summer. A major thing." Seth smirked.

"Hey, it's not my fault." Summer said and slapped his arm playfully, with her hand that wasn't holding Leah's.

"Ow," Seth touched his arm. "Let's hope she's not violate either."

Summer slapped him a second time.

"Hey! Do not argue in front of my granddaughter." Kirsten Cohen entered the room, for once not fallowed by her husband. She smiled as soon as she set eyes on the little baby. "Aw,"

Seth made a face. "Mom, you've already seen her three times. You can stop with the overwhelming thing." To that, Summer slapped him in the chest.

"Cohen! Let your mother admire our daughter."

"Yes, Seth. Let me," his mother said and returned to watch Leah. "She's so beautiful, Summer."

The small brunette smiled and nodded. "I can't believe she's ours. She's just what I ever wanted," Summer softly said, a little teary eyed.

"I know the feeling," Kirsten smiled, glancing over to her son. "There's no greater thing than being a parent, believe me."

"Mom," Seth started slightly embarrassed. "Come on."

"Seth Ezekiel, I am only telling your wife the truth. And even if you Seth, with your so-called comedy are incredibly annoying at times, you are my son and I love you more than anything. I bet you feel the same way about Leah."

"Mom," Seth said.

"You're welcome, Seth. Now, I should go back outside. They might be wondering where I am."

"I think they can figure out that you're here, Kirsten. You can stay if you want." Summer said and kicked Seth's leg.

"Yeah, you can stay."

"Thanks you two. But I'm gonna leave you three alone. I'll be back later."

"Cohen, you have the greatest mom," Summer said as she'd left and wrapped an arm around Seth's neck, hugging him. "I hope she'll help me with this," she whispered.

"Of course she will, Sum. They're gonna be there if we need them." Seth held her waist and looked at Summer hand, still attached to Leah's.

_Please review! _

_The story is reaching its end. Just a few more chapters left..._


	24. The day of silence

_A Heart's Desire_

The day of silence

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Seth! We're gonna be late!" Summer yelled as she sat on the living room sofa with a nineteen weeks old Leah in her lap. She tried not to yell too loud but since Seth had been in the bathroom for about ten minutes too long, who could blame her? "Do you want your daughter to miss her own party?!"

"Coming!" Seth appeared in the living room, looking very handsome. Not that Summer hadn't expected that since he'd been in that bathroom for a long time. He picked Leah up and immediately started to make those sounds she liked so much. Seth had discovered it one time when Leah would just scream and scream. He'd sighed and made some funny sound, which right away had stopped Leah's screams.

Summer rolled her eyes and stood up, taking her purse and Leah's bag with her. "Let's go. We have to hurry now since you have to be such a girl, Cohen."

Seth smiled and took the white hat Summer threw in his direction and placed it on his daughter's small head. "Mommy's just being mommy. She has this thing about being late," he explained to the Leah, who kept fumbling with his tie and probably making it loose to Summer's dislike. "But don't worry about that, little girl. Because I'm sure the party will still be there when we arrive."

"Cohen! With those long legs you might think you could walk faster."

"We're coming, my sweet little Summer." Seth said and walked himself and Leah out after the very irritated woman.

Summer locked the door as Seth went to place Leah into her chair in the car. He had now found the routine in doing it; the first week neither of them had any idea of how to have a child in a car.

Summer walked angrily down the steps and sat down in the passenger seat, letting Seth do the driving. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she stared out through the window stubbornly. As Seth didn't want to witness a rage blackout, again, he calmly sat down in the driver's seat and started the engine.

"Aren't you gonna say something?" Summer menacingly asked after a while of the two of them sitting in silence as their daughter was asleep in the backseat.

Seth locked at her, acting casual. "Like what?"

"Apologize maybe."

"Alright. Sorry,"

"You're unbelievable!"

Seth laughed, trying to be silent best he could though. "What now?"

Summer gave him a dangerous look and stared out the window for the remaining time.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"I'll take her." Summer pushed Seth away from where he stood, taking Leah out of the car. She carefully pulled Leah into her arms and smoothed her soft baby skin. "Let's go, baby."

Seth sighed, locked the car and walked next to Summer up to the club where most people probably had already arrived. Just as they came closer Summer put on a big smile, obviously not wanting to show everyone what a bad mood she was in. Seth honestly didn't know what her deal was.

"Hey, guys!" she said and walked up to his parents and greeted then. She let them say hi to Leah who always was the centre of attention nowadays.

"Summer, there's something I need your help with. Could you come with?" Sandy asked as they'd all said hello.

Summer looked slightly confused but decided to come with. "Um, sure." She kissed Leah's cheek and then gave the baby to Kirsten, not to her husband who held out his arms. She walked away with Sandy, leaving a very upset Seth behind.

"God, what's wrong with her today?" Seth exclaimed and took Leah from his mother's arms. She wiggled some and started to whine. "Hey, little girl. Mommy's gonna be right back," he said and patterned Leah's back. She started to cry though so Seth began to rock her. "Daddy's here."

"Is she hungry?" Kirsten asked, trying to help her son who obviously wasn't in his best mood for a whiny baby.

"She ate just before we got here and we changed the diaper and she can't be tired because she slept in the car. Unless," he firmly said, "Summer might have woken her up before. I told her not to do that!"

Leah started to cry louder, causing some people to turn and look. "Hey, Seth. You want me to take her? You can go say hi to the guests?"

"I'd rather not,"

"Seth, let me take Leah. Maybe you should go talk to your wife?"

He reluctantly gave his mother the crying baby girl and kissed her head before walking over to where the bar was.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Sandy, this isn't very important. I mean, I don't think anyone would mind that the tablecloths are the wrong colour." He'd dragged her inside only to give her as many tablecloths she could carry in her arms.

"Please, Kirsten's gonna kill me for this."

"But, I don't care if they are yellow or cream,"

"I know you don't. And I doubt Seth or Leah will, either. But you see, Kirsten really wants this party to be great and this was one of those things she let me take care of. She wants them cream, Summer."

"Alright then."

"Thanks." Sandy smiled and began to clean off a table. "Hey, how's it going back home with Leah? You've gotten used to having her around?"

"I guess. But it's tougher than we'd imagined I think."

"Yeah. It's not easy. Let us know if you need anything though. Kirsten and I would love to have her over sometimes. And I'm sure you could use some rest, time together or whatever,"

"Thanks, Sandy."

"Hey, speaking of kids. Isn't that my son?" Seth walked into the room with a glass of juice in his hand. "Seth, come over here!"

"Sandy," Summer started but stopped as she didn't know how to continue. She sighed as Seth came closer and began to put the new tablecloth on.

"Son, could you give us a hand here?"

"What are you doing? Exactly."

His father shrugged. "Um, we're fixing a little detail. But we could use some help, seeing that there are dozens of tables left." Sandy finished sadly.

"Yeah, sure." He didn't even mind asking why they were doing this. He helped Summer set the table as Sandy started with another.

"Where's Leah?" she quietly asked as they were done with the second table.

"She's with mom, but you gave her to her so you should know."

"Well, you could have taken her somewhere else."

"I didn't."

"Good."

"Can you give me the last plate?"

"I'm gonna go help your father," Summer said and ignored his question. She quickly walked over to Sandy and helped him instead.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Summer sat down in a chair with Leah sleeping in her lap, her tiny hands holding the little soft animal. It was a squirrel Seth had bought in the hospital and she always had it next to her when she slept; she couldn't sleep without it.

Summer bent down and placed a small kiss on her daughter's head where soft, brown curls had started to grow. She was happy that Leah looked so much like her father when it came to that hair.

"Hey," Seth sat down next to them and offered Summer a drink. She accepted it with a small smile. "I can't believe how we actually could change all these tablecloths." He said and fumbled with some of the cream-coloured cloth.

"I know. It was for your mom though, so."

"Yeah." Seth became silent and looked down at his daughter where she lay in Summer's arms, snuggling close to her squirrel. "She's really something." Summer didn't need to fallow his gaze because she knew what he meant, of course he meant Leah. "You know, sometimes when you leave the room or give her to me or someone else she starts to cry."

Summer lifted her head. "Yeah?"

He placed a hand on her arm, giving her the smallest of smiles. "She's so in love with you."

"And I'm so in love with her," Summer softly said causing Seth to smile wider.

Shifting closer to his wife and Leah, Seth spoke, "Me, too."

After a while of them sitting in complete silence, watching the other guests Sandy appeared, sitting down at their table. "Hey, guys!" He looked down at his granddaughter, smiling. "Kirsten wanted to speak to you, Summer. But I can go get her. Looks like you're stuck here."

"Right," Summer firmly said, fallowing his gaze. Leah was sleeping like a rock, her cheek pressed against Summer's arm and some drool hung out her mouth.

Seth sighed, "I can take her." Summer stared at her husband, quickly looked down at Leah again and eventually deciding to let him take the sleeping child.

Leah was placed in Seth's waiting arms and as Summer lay the squirrel down next to her daughter Seth carefully looked up at her, smiling as he saw how she was so into their girl. He could see how accurate she was to make sure that everything was good with Leah before she'd leave her in his care. Seth was so amazed by her that he didn't even care about the fact that she didn't show much faith in him and his ability to take care of their baby.

As she left Sandy gave his son a questioning look, lifting an eyebrow.

"She's just stressed and being Summer, dad. Nothing to worry about."

"If you say so."

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Later that night Summer walked out from the bathroom; tired, exhausted from the day and ready for bed. She took off her slippers and climbed into bed where Seth already was asleep, his body as straight as a stick.

Creeping under the covers Summer lay down on her side, her eyes focused on Seth, watching him as he lay there. She always thought that he looked the most adorable when he was sleeping, his eyes closed and his mouth shut. Moving a little closer to him and resting her head just next to his shoulder, she felt the warmth from him without even touching.

And without even realizing it she feel asleep and while sleeping her body seemed to move even closer to Seth, her limbs intertwining with Seth's.

Something woke her up just hours later though; the sounds of a baby's cry that like so many nights lately had forced her to get up in the middle of the night. Her first reaction was to climb out of the bed though a voice gently told her to lie back down.

"I'll take care of Leah," Seth whispered, tucking Summer back down and placing a light kiss on her temple before leaving the room.

Summer hugged the covers tightly, mumbling something about how tired she was and tried to get back to sleep.

Though she couldn't. The feeling of having to do something important was too strong, as if she'd forgotten something. She was sure that she wouldn't be able to sleep before she'd fixed it, whatever it was. Walking out of bed, carefully pulling her hair to the side, Summer made her way into the nursery.

Seth was sitting in the rocking chair, holding the small girl who was dressed in purple pyjamas. He always talked to her, or made some kind of sound, when he held her. And surprisingly that always seemed to work like magic on Leah; she always fell asleep faster when Seth had her.

Summer kneeled down next to them, causing Seth to notice her presence. "Hey, why are you up?"

Summer made a shrug. "I can't sleep."

"Oh,"

"Want me to take her?"

"No, she's almost asleep," Seth shortly said and stood up, about to lay Leah down in her bed. Summer quickly got up after him, seeing if he needed any help. As he placed Leah on the soft mattress Summer helped him put on the white blanket, slightly awkwardly as he didn't need any help for that. She shyly glanced up at him where he stood next to her. "I think she'll sleep now," he said as he placed her squirrel next to her.

"Yeah," Summer sighed and remained standing by the bed.

Seth, who had reached the door, turned around. "You coming?"

Making a small nod Summer walked over to him, her gaze falling on his face. "Cohen?" she said as they walked toward their bedroom. Seth made a 'hmm' sound and opened the door for her. "Never mind."

"Okay," Seth yawned as they crept under the covers.

Summer stared up at the ceiling and as Seth turned the light off and prepared himself for sleep she sighed, rolling onto her stomach, holding herself up with her arms. She looked straight at him and even through the dark she could see how he opened his eyes.

"You still can't sleep?" he asked, looking up at her. Summer hesitated but gently lay down half on top of him, her head just under his chin and her arms wrapping themselves around him. Seth smiled, kissed her hair, placed his arms around her petite body and fell asleep to her soft snoring.


	25. Realizations

_This has been taking forever, I know. Sorry about that. _

_Read and enjoy!_

_A Heart's Desire _

Realizations 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

"Hey, Summer," Seth said as he entered the backyard of his parents' house. Summer was playing with Leah while Kirsten and Sandy cleared the table from breakfast. "You ready to go?"

Summer kissed her daughter's head for the twentieth time that morning. "In a minute." She didn't as much as look at him, her whole attention was on their daughter where she sat on the floor laughing.

Seth had never imagined Summer as that kind of mother, the one who had so much love for the child that she couldn't even leave it for few hours. Summer seldom left Leah at all. She was constantly carrying around the little girl, not caring if she had to do laundry or dishes. Summer always managed to find a way for Leah to be near her.

"Alright," he mumbled and leaned down, giving each of them a loss on the cheek and patting the small girl on the head. He had by now learnt that trying to separate those two was possibly the most difficult task he'd ever tried. At least separating them against Summer's will. "Just come soon," Seth said before leaving the twosome, walking back inside.

Kirsten stood by the counter, looking out through the window over the sink, as he walked in. "Seth," she sighed and gestured for him to come join her. "Just look at them." And he did. Seth saw Summer pulling his daughter into her lap, content smiles on both of their faces. They were his family; his everything. He loved them more than life itself.

"They're…"

His mother placed a hand on his shoulder and carefully leaned against his side. "They're your family, your everything," she stated. "I still remember when you were born. I used to watch your father and you. Just like this."

"How am I gonna be able to take her with me and leave Leah here?" Seth asked, seriously worried that he'd never get to be alone with Summer again. It wasn't that he minded Leah, and Summer spending time with her. He _loved _them together. But he needed some time with Summer; they needed to relax. And Summer needed to learn how to leave their girl.

Even since Leah's birth everything had been so different; they had both been busy with their new family member and almost forgotten about each other. Not forgotten, but it certainly wasn't the same. Seth would still kiss her goodnight before she went to sleep, and Summer would always give him a long embrace before he went to work. Though that snuggling at the couch and sharing chair at the table or Summer eating lunch at Seth's job rarely happened anymore.

"She knows that she needs to come with you. She wants to."

"I hope so, mom."

They watched how Summer picked Leah up and started to walk to the house. A second later she was inside, beaming at her daughter. "There's daddy and grandma; can you say hi to them, baby?"

"There you two are," the mature woman said. "I was starting to worry when you'd come inside." Kirsten smiled, "I'm gonna go see Julie. Mind if I take her with me?" She looked first from Seth, who nodded, to Summer looking a little uncertain.

"Um," the brunette said and gazed down to her daughter. With the realization of she and Seth going soon she knew that she would have to leave Leah here. "I guess." She nervously tried to get Seth to say something but he just nodded and motioned for her to give his mother the baby. "Mommy loves you, sweetie," Summer cooed to Leah and kissed her on both cheeks. "You're gonna stay with grandma for a little while, okay? But daddy and I will come get you soon."

"I promise to take excellent care of her, Summer. We'll have fun."

"Yeah, I know," Summer sadly said and gave Leah to Seth. Once she sat in his arms Summer placed her hand on Leah's small head and kissed her nose. "I'll miss you, baby."

After Seth had said his goodbyes to Leah and Summer had given her at least ten more kisses, Kirsten took her and went out of the room. Summer pouted, "Can't we take her with us? I mean, isn't it best for her to be near us?" Seth tilted his head and grabbed her shoulders, sighing. "I know. I'm sorry. It's gonna be great to be just the two of us. I just-"

"I know. You want to be with her constantly. But now she's in good hands. And we need to get away." She still looked a little uncertain. "I feel like we haven't been just the two of us since she was born. And we need that time. At least I do."

Summer sadly looked up at him. "I do too, honey. It's just really hard to leave her. Even if it's just here."

Reassuringly rubbing her forearm Seth smiled. He knew that she had these attachment issues; and he knew that her own relationship with her mother only made those stronger. She so desperately wanted to be the best mother to Leah, and Seth knew that she was. She didn't need to try; she just was this perfect and loving mom. And to his daughter. "It's hardest the first time. But you'll be okay."

"I know," she pouted and leaned her head against his shoulder. Seth smiled and wrapped an arm around her, walking her out to the foyer.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The silver BMW drove up to a familiar house, after having been on the road for about forty minutes. Summer had not been very impatient in the car, nor asked where they were going. She didn't even get suspicious when they'd steered into a gravel road.

Seth sat in the driver's seat, concentrating on the driving while regularly checking on his wife who was being awfully quiet. He'd expected to hear her complaining about the hot weather and the fact that she had no idea where they were going. She was being silent though, much to Seth's concern. He'd figured that it would take a while for her to get used to the fact that Leah wasn't there with them but he'd never imagined that she'd be dead silent.

"You okay, Sum?"

She seemed to have noticed where they were now, as Seth killed the engine and turned to look at her. They were at the lake house, the place where Leah was born. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why are we here, Seth?"

Confused, and slightly stunned, Seth scratched his chin nervously. Did she not like the idea of them coming here again? Maybe she hated this place after all of that pain she'd been through here. "Um, I wanted us to get away. To a place we could be alone in."

"You brought phones this time, right? And chargers?"

Seth nodded, trying to read her feelings by the tone in her voice. "They're in the bag. You can check if you want to."

"No. That's not necessary." Summer opened the car door and stepped outside. When she realized that Seth was still in the car she stuck her head in. "You coming?"

"Yeah. Sure." Seth blinked and exited the car he too, hearing Summer close the door. "I'm coming."

They quietly walked up the steps to the house, Seth behind Summer carrying their bags. He let a big sigh out and hoped for things to stop being so weird. So he had obviously picked the wrong place, but was it so terrible without Leah that Summer couldn't even show a little bit of happiness? She usually liked all of his surprises, and he'd really thought she'd like to come here again.

"I feel like going down to the lake. Is that okay?" Seth said as he'd placed the bags in the living room. He looked at Summer, though sort of avoiding her eye contact.

She shrugged and glanced at the two bags. "Sure, I'll start unpacking."

Seth made a nod and slowly walked out through the French doors, leaving Summer standing in the middle of the living room with the two bags next to her. She frowned and tugged at her lip, feeling so out of place. She was more confused than she'd ever been before.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth gazed out over the lake; saw the cliffs and all the trees while thinking that he loved this place. For a minute all of the things he'd had on his mind disappeared. He was so focused and relaxed by the surroundings that he didn't notice a small figure coming closer to him where he stood out on the bridge.

He jumped as he felt two arms wrap themselves around his torso, his heart beginning to beat awfully fast. "Jesus, Summer," he shakily said while bringing his wife with his arms so that she stood before him. "You scared me."

She innocently smiled. "Sorry."

"I'm okay now." Seth put his arms over her shoulders from behind, resting his chin on top of her head while she leaned against him, her back against his chest. "You feeling better?"

Summer nodded, knowing what he was referring to. She settled closer against him and forced his arms to tighten around her. "I'm sorry, Cohen. For acting like a baby about this." She turned around in his arms, so that her eyes were gazing up into his. "I do want to be here with you, because I miss just being the two of us. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Sum. I get it. You becoming a mother has changed things, and made you feel things you've never felt before. Everything was supposed to change, I knew that. I knew that a baby would forever change us."

Carefully, afraid to make it sound wrong, Summer said; "Do you regret it?"

"No. Of course not." Seth placed both of his hands on her face. "But I can understand that you're being unsure in that area, because of the way the pregnancy started. The fact that it wasn't planned." Summer lowered her head and swallowed nervously. Seth noticed how anxious she was. "But hey, this is better than I'd ever believed. Having Leah has been fantastic and I wouldn't change anything. I don't regret anything, Summer."

"Are you sure? Because I know I haven't been the same, I know that I've spent less time with you and it's just different being three. But I promise you that I think about you every time I stay home with Leah, even if I love her company. I miss being with you."

"I miss it, too. That's why I took you here."

"And I love you for it," Summer whispered and stood up on her toes to place a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you, Seth."

"Love you, too." Seth grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers and began to walk back up to the house. He felt how Summer smiled without looking at her and after a second he started to beam as well. He'd missed to hang out with the wife, and he'd certainly missed to see her like this; happy without Leah on her arm.

"Hey, Cohen," Summer said in a seductive voice, lightly brushing against him where she walked on his side. "Maybe we could go upstairs."

Seth smiled, causing his dimples to appear and Summer to quickly reach up and kiss one. "We could do that." He laughed and pulled Summer closer to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder to draw her in. "By the way, honey. I bought the house."

_This is the last chapter before the epilogue. So, the story's coming to an end._


	26. Epilogue

_A Heart's Desire _

Epilogue 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The book in her hand seemed to come closer and closer to her body, slowly causing her arms to lower with its weight. It was way too early to feel sleepy and certainly too late for a nap, but Summer was really trying hard to keep her eyes open. The book she was reading did not help her to get more awake though and neither did the very comfortable sofa she laid on.

It was Friday afternoon and Summer was waiting for her two babies to arrive home. Seth was picking Leah up at school and they had probably gone to buy some ice cream down by the pier since it was the beginning of the weekend and in the middle of the summer heat.

Lying there with the book now over her chest, Summer couldn't help but yawn. She hadn't slept very well the previous night. Anxiety and too much curiosity had kept her awake, lying next to her husband and listening to his soft snoring while she thought. Now _that_ was gone but replaced with a feeling that she was about to explode if she couldn't find out the news soon. She was tired of waiting, and bored of being alone; she needed to know and squeal together with her husband.

Seth had been working and had an important meeting; therefore Summer had gone by herself. She had ignored Seth's pleading for her to change the appointment, to a day where he could be there by her side. But Summer knew that it was difficult to get appointment with her doctor and she could not wait longer; they had waited enough. She'd instead promised him to ask her doctor to write it on a note and open it when he came home.

The thought of calling him had been in her mind a thousand times the past hour but somehow she had been patient. She had hid the small note under a book in the office and forced herself not to go in there.

And now she'd waited a really long time and was either going to open the note herself or fall asleep. And she would not open the note; not without being angry at herself for the rest of her life and feel guilty every time she saw her husband's face. No, she would not go into the office even if that was what she wanted the most.

As she let a deep sigh out, wondering what she should do to distract herself, she heard the front door open. She could hear small feet in a quick pace being on their way toward the living room where she was and immediately smiled as she saw her five year old daughter appear, flower in hands.

"Mommy," the girl screamed and jumped up into Summer's lap, wrapping her legs around her mother's waist. "Daddy and I got you flowers."

"I can see that," Summer said while taking the pink flowers. "Thank you, sweetie. I love them."

Leah beamed. "I told daddy that you would."

"Yeah? Flowers are always nice. Did you and daddy have ice cream?"

Nodding, Leah pushed her wavy hair away from her face. "I had a big one, so big that daddy had to help me eat it."

"Is your stomach okay then? Daddy knows that he shouldn't give you too much sweet like that."

Leah laughed and patterned her stomach. "It doesn't hurt. I can eat ice cream. And candy."

"But not very much. You're gonna get a stomach ache tonight, and it's your father's fault."

"What am I hearing!? My fault?" Summer looked up and saw her husband walk from the kitchen. "Is this what I get from buying you flowers?"

Summer glared at him as he sat down opposite the sofa where she sat with Leah in her lap, who now had turned and was resting her back against Summer's chest. "Yes."

"You blame me for everything?"

"That's true. I'm only speaking the truth, honey."

Leah climbed down from Summer. "I'm gonna go call grandma."

"Grandma? What for," Seth asked as he watched his daughter go to the phone.

"Daddy, have you forgotten that I'm gonna stay there this weekend?" Leah put her hands on her hips, in a way she'd probably learnt from Summer. "You never remember stuff like that."

Summer let a short laugh out, before seeing Seth's face when she forced it back, smiling at her daughter. "Go call your grandma, Leah. Tell her that we'll be there around five."

"She's way too witty for her own good, you know." Seth leaned back into the armchair with a yawn. "God, she tires me out."

"Too bad we're having another Cohen then," Summer said with a smile on her face.

"Oh my God, how did it go?" Seth immediately sat up, excitingly waiting for Summer to tell him.

Summer shrugged, a giggle slipping out her mouth. "The note's in the study."

"You don't know yet," Seth asked surprised.

Shaking her head, Summer stood up. "Nope." Smiling brightly, Seth took her hand and hurried to the study.

"Thanks for waiting," Seth said and kissed her temple as Summer stood with the note in her hand.

Summer gave him an honest smile. "Of course I waited. It's our baby in here." She placed his hand over her belly, laying her own over his. "Should we read the note now?"

"Yes. Please." Rubbing his thumb just over Summer's navel, Seth nodded for her to read and find out what they were going to have; a girl or a boy.

Summer slowly unfolded the white note, looking into her husband's eyes as she did so. "Here we go." As what was written in black ink was revealed both of their faces turned into wide smiles. Seth read the note four times before bringing Summer close to him, holding her against his chest. He breathed out into her hair and felt how she kissed his shirt. "It's amazing."

"It is. Incredibly. I'll have to start brainstorming on ideas for the nursery."

"Cohen, we're having another daughter!"

"I'm having a baby sister?" Leah jumped up and down in the doorway, where she had appeared, letting the phone hit the carpet. "Yes!"

Seth and Summer both started to laugh and Seth lifted her a few inches from the floor, placing kisses in her hair. "We'll have to celebrate this tonight, baby," she whispered in his ear while giggling. "All night."

"Can I name her, mommy?" Summer pulled away from Seth's tight embrace, smiling while shaking her head.

"Leah, I think that's mine and your father's job. But you can give us names you like and we'll consider them."

"Really?! I'll go check my books right now."

"Alright. But, Leah, did you call?"

Without as much as caring about hearing what her mother said, Leah rushed out of the room in hurry to find the perfect name for her new sister.

Summer turned her gaze back to her husband, reaching up to plant a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth before smiling into the crock of his neck.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Seth opened the door to the house; their newly bought house. For years they'd both talked about moving into a house and as they'd decided to try for another child they'd also started to look for a house that would fit them and their growing family.

The first time they'd seen this house, Summer had hated it. She'd begged him to go before they even looked inside, or checked out the backyard. Seth had been forced to drag her inside and he'd been angry at her for being so childish. Once she walked inside though, through the foyer and to the living room, she seemed to love it. The fact that it was in an area near where she'd lived her whole life didn't matter anymore nor did the prize; the perfect size of the rooms was too much what she'd always wanted. The house even had a little swimming pool and that small and cosy kitchen everyone always sought for.

Seth heard the door close behind him and grinned as he felt Summer jump up on his back, wrapping her legs around his torso. He could feel her smile against the back of his neck and while he walked them to the couch he could hear her giggle. Nothing was as delightful as hearing Summer laugh and know that she was happy. Happy because of him.

Placing her on the couch Seth was about to sit down next to her, but she quickly lay down and pulled him with her. She was still giggling and had that spark in her eyes only she could have. "What?"

"Nothing," Seth smirked and kissed her soundly on the lips. "You're just so cute."

While pushing his body more so it was on top of her, Summer just smiled. She wrapped his arms around her, placing them just where she wanted them and finally having him as a blanket. She snuggled against him and closed her eyes.

"Summer?" Seth looked down on her. "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping," she mumbled, still with her eyes closed and holding him close to her.

"You can't sleep now. We're alone."

Summer opened one eye to this, quickly closing it again though. "Sure I can."

"But what am I supposed to do? Just lie here?"

He received no answer and sighed as he felt his wife snuggle up against him and falling into slumber. Seth wasn't tired, not now. He'd been looking forward to being alone with Summer the whole week. But even though he really just wanted to wake her up, she looked too cute while sleeping; her eyes closed and her whole body relaxed, feeling safe in his arms. Why did she have to have such power over him, he questioned to himself as he kissed her cheek and decided to let her win as she always did.

_I have had this written for ages, but never posted it because I was planning on writing more. But since I can't write anymore, I'm posting this. The story is with that finished!_


End file.
